Post Traumatic Parenting

Welcome to a very special episode of the Post Traumatic Parenting podcast! I'm so excited about today's episode because I had the chance to sit down with Kimberly Shannon Murphy, an incredible stuntwoman and gifted author of the book Glimmer. 

In our conversation, we dove deep into the profound impact of generational trauma and post-traumatic parenting. Kimberly opened up about her personal journey of overcoming incest and how this experience shaped her life and approach to motherhood. This episode is not just about survival but also about breaking cycles of generational abuse and forging a new path for our children and future generations. While we do touch on sensitive topics, our conversation is ultimately one of resilience, healing, and hope. 

Whether you're taking your first steps toward healing or you're further along on your path, joining us today could be a pivotal point in your own narrative. Tune in, and perhaps even ignite the spark for your personal healing journey.

1. How did Kimberly's experiences with abuse shape her journey into motherhood, and what does she share in her memoir "Glimmer"?
2. What were the biggest challenges Kimberly faced when trying to parent her daughter?
3. Breaking the cycle of generational trauma and providing a healthier childhood for our children.
4. The body memories and the physical aspects of trauma in our everyday lives and on parenting.
5. How can we reclaim our bodies and lives after experiencing trauma?
6. The power of sharing personal stories in generational trauma.
7. How does the concept of forgiveness play a role in healing from generational trauma, and is it necessary for everyone?
8. How can we use our trauma as a springboard for growth and healing, rather than letting it define us?

Connect with me on Instagram @dr.koslowitzpsychology and don't forget to subscribe to our YouTube channel Post Traumatic Parenting.

For full show notes and more resources visit www.drrobynkoslowitz.com/2024/01/25/breaking-the-cycle-of-generational-trauma-with-kimberly-shannon-murphy

Are you navigating the challenging waters of post-traumatic parenting of middle school children? Today, I sit down with Nik Bowers, a former middle school principal and fellow post-traumatic parent. We dive deep into our personal experiences of overcoming trauma and how it has shaped our approach to parenting. We discuss the importance of being 'cycle breakers'—striving to provide our children with healthier childhoods than we had.

Nik shares her powerful story of surviving child sexual abuse and how she used her pain as a catalyst for change in her parenting style. We also delve into the critical role of teaching middle schoolers about relationships, emotions, and problem-solving. We share practical tips on how to foster authentic relationships with your kids and why it's essential to model problem-solving skills. Plus, we reveal exciting projects to help parents and children learn together.

This episode is a must-listen for any parent seeking to understand and improve their approach to post-traumatic parenting of middle school children. It's an honest, raw, and insightful conversation that promises to leave you feeling empowered and equipped to face the challenges of parenting head-on. Tune in now!

1. How to break the cycle and provide a healthier environment for your children?
2. Nik Bowers' personal journey from being a victim of child sexual abuse to becoming a proactive parent and educator.
3. What are the unique challenges and opportunities of post-traumatic parenting middle schoolers?
4. Teaching middle school children about relationships and setting boundaries.
5. The significance of open communication between post-traumatic parents and middle school children.
6. Using challenges as opportunities to teach children valuable life skills.
7. How can you ensure that your children grow up to be independent problem solvers, critical thinkers, and kind individuals?
8. Creating an authentic relationship with your children while healing your own trauma.

Quote:

"I always say that I paint beauty with ashes and in order to do that, you have to do the work." - Nik Bowers

Connect with me on Instagram @dr.koslowitzpsychology and don't forget to subscribe to our YouTube channel Post Traumatic Parenting.

For full show notes and more resources visit www.drrobynkoslowitz.com/2024/01/18/post-traumatic-p…-with-nik-bowers.

Welcome to another guest episode of Post Traumatic Parenting! In today's episode, we'll be diving deep into the complexities of navigating toxic relationships with a nationally recognized expert clinical psychologist - Dr. Sherrie Campbell. Dr. Campbell shares her personal journey of growing up in a toxic environment and how she broke free from the cycle of abuse.

We discuss the importance of understanding family dynamics and setting boundaries to protect not only yourself but also your children. She provides invaluable insights on harnessing anger as a healthy emotion for justice and boundary-setting, distinguishing it from destructive rage. She emphasizes the need to prioritize your own happiness and privacy when dealing with toxic individuals. Dr. Campbell also introduces us to the concept of "gray rocking" - a strategy to navigate conversations with toxic individuals you can't avoid. This episode is a treasure trove of advice for anyone grappling with the aftermath of a toxic relationship or seeking to break free from one.

A trigger warning: This episode contains swear words and discusses family estrangement. It may be triggering for parents who have experienced post-traumatic stress and have heard statements like, "If you set boundaries with me, your kids will grow up to cut you off."

1. The impact of growing up in a toxic environment on your parenting style.
2. How can understanding family dynamics help you navigate toxic relationships?
3. The importance of setting boundaries to protect yourself and your children from toxic relationships.
4. How does Dr. Sherrie Campbell's personal experience inform her expertise on dealing with narcissistic and toxic people?
5. Why is self-healing crucial for post-traumatic parents and how can you break the cycle of abuse?
6. How can love be a powerful tool in overcoming trauma and fostering a nurturing environment for children?
7. What is the 'gray rocking' technique and how can it be used to manage toxic relationships?
8. Why is valuing privacy essential when dealing with toxic relationships?
9. How can reclaiming your own happiness and psychological resources help you deal with toxic relationships?

Connect with me on Instagram @dr.koslowitzpsychology. For full show notes and more resources visit www.drrobynkoslowitz.com/2023/11/29/breaking-free-fr…sherrie-campbell

Welcome to another episode of the Post Traumatic Parenting podcast! Today's episode is extra special because I'm joined by Lynn Greenberg, co-author of the book "Robby the Dyslexic Taxi and the Airport Adventure". This episode is being released in October to honor Dyslexia Awareness Month, so let's celebrate by discussing how post-traumatic parents can better support their children with dyslexia in understanding and embracing their diagnosis.

If you're a loyal listener of the Post Traumatic Parenting podcast, you've heard me talk about my AIM Model - acceptance, integration, and mission. Jonathan is a perfect example of how this model can be applied. It shows us how we can take a diagnosis that initially appears as a challenge and transform it into a superpower and a unique gift. Join us in today's podcast episode to celebrate Dyslexia Awareness Month together and learn more about Jonathan & Lynn's journey, the challenges they overcame, and how it inspired them to write their beautiful and empowering book "Robby the Dyslexic Taxi and the Airport Adventure".

1. What inspired Lynn & Jonathan to write "Robby the Dyslexic Taxi and the Airport Adventure"?
2. How does this picture book help children with dyslexia understand and embrace their diagnosis?
3. What is the positive message that Lynn & Jonathan aim to convey through their book?
4. The challenges of living with dyslexia that the book acknowledges.
5. What other neurodiverse issues do Lynn & Jonathan plan to address in future books?
6. How do Lynn & Jonathan hope to promote acceptance and understanding of neurodiversity through their work?
7. The impact "Robby the Dyslexic Taxi and the Airport Adventure" had on its readers.
8. How can literature play a role in promoting empathy and understanding towards people with neurodiverse conditions such as dyslexia?
9. What advice do Lynn & Jonathan have for parents or educators who want to support children with dyslexia?

Connect with me on Instagram @dr.koslowitzpsychology. For full show notes and more resources visit www.drrobynkoslowitz.com/2023/10/25/dyslexia-awarene…h-lynn-greenberg

In today's podcast episode, we will address the concerns of post-traumatic parents who may feel a sense of sadness as they learn about cycle-breaking and attachment theory. They wonder how their own attachment experiences may have impacted their children. However, we will debunk the myth that secure attachment is beyond the reach of post-traumatic parents. Instead, we will focus on how we can work towards repairing attachment, even if it feels challenging.

Throughout this episode, we will examine attachment theory through the lens of trauma and post-traumatic parenting. We will break down the components of attachment and understand how we can repair it. It is important to remember that everything can be repaired if we know how. So let's approach this episode with a positive attitude, knowing that attachment is not an unattainable concept for post-traumatic parents.

Join me as we explore attachment theory, learn how to repair attachment, and empower ourselves as post-traumatic parents. Together, we can provide our children with the healthy attachment they deserve.

1. How does trauma affect our ability to form healthy attachments with our children?
2. What is the significance of attachment theory in understanding parent-child relationships?
3. Can feelings of sadness and inadequacy impact your role as an attachment figure for your children?
4. How can we repair broken attachments and achieve earned security through therapy and self-work?
5. What are the functions of the attachment system and how does trauma impact it?
6. Why are attunement, delight, and reciprocal movement vital in building a healthy attachment with children?
7. Is it possible to learn and repair attachment even if you did not experience it yourself?
8. How does trauma lead to difficulties in regulating emotions and building trust?
9. What strategies can be employed for healing and strengthening attachment relationships?
10. Why is self-care an essential component in the journey towards healthier attachment and when should professional help be sought?

Connect with me on Instagram @dr.koslowitzpsychology. For full show notes and more resources visit www.drrobynkoslowitz.com/2023/10/18/what-most-post-t…ttachment-theory

Are you a parent who has experienced trauma and is now raising a neurodiverse child? Have you ever wondered how to navigate the challenges and joys that come with it? In today's podcast episode, we discuss how to overcome the challenges of parenting a neurodiverse child while addressing your own trauma with my special guest, Dayna Abraham. Dayna is a parenting educator and author of the book "Calm the Chaos." 

She shares her personal journey as a parent of a neurodiverse child and how she discovered the transformative effects of shifting her mindset and questioning traditional forms of parenting. Dayna reveals how reframing can lead to positive changes in our lives and relationships with our children but that's not all! We also talk about her book "Calm the Chaos," her failproof roadmap for parenting, and how it helps parents handle challenges proactively instead of reacting in the moment. If you want to learn more about different strategies to improve your relationship with your neurodiverse child, today's episode is for you!

• Dana's journey as a post-traumatic parent and how she integrated it into her parenting values.
• How does Dana's book "Calm the Chaos" provide a neurologically and neurodevelopmentally informed approach to parenting?
• Dana speaks about navigating internal distractions, such as PTSD, while dealing with external factors like parenting challenges.
• Addressing your trauma while raising a neurodiverse child. 
• How does Dana help parents who raise neurodiverse child and feel conflicted when traditional parenting approaches contradict their values?
• The four key elements for approaching any parenting situation.
• What strategies can you use to get ahead of the moment and handle parenting challenges proactively?
• What strategies can we use to help neurodiverse children overcome challenges and make information more concrete?
• How to empower neurodiverse children to take control of their own motivation and learn to hack their own brains?
• Practical tips for balancing personal goals, parenting, and other responsibilities.
• How can parents overcome shame and approach challenges with a mindset of curiosity?
• What strategies can be employed to make complex information more accessible and easily digestible for neurodivergent individuals?

Connect with me on Instagram @dr.koslowitzpsychology. For full show notes and more resources visit www.drrobynkoslowitz.com/2023/09/06/ptsd-parenting-y…th-dayna-abraham

Welcome back to another episode of the Post-Traumatic Parenting podcast! In this episode, I am joined by Dr. Brie Turns-Coe, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and together we discuss how to parent the child you have, not the child you were, and how to provide your children with a healthy childhood. Dr. Brie Turns-Coe emphasizes the importance of recognizing the unique needs of each child rather than parenting based on our own childhood experiences or the opposite of them. We also delve into the topic of post-traumatic parenting, how to identify it, including speaking to your inner child and understanding what you needed as a child versus what your child needs now. We touch on the challenges of parenting a child with psychodiversity, the importance of recognizing and meeting our own unmet needs as post-traumatic parents, the harmful effects of spanking, why it is not an effective form of discipline, and more.

• Are you unknowingly parenting based on the opposite or the same methods as your own parents?
• How can you focus on the unique individuality of your child instead of your own inner child?
• Healing without placing unnecessary blame on your parents.
• Strategies you can implement to create a safe and nurturing environment for your child.
• How can we avoid playing trauma poker and acknowledge each other's challenges?
• How to identify and heal your own childhood as a post-traumatic parent?
• Meeting your children's needs without forcing your unmet needs onto them.
• Different parenting styles across generations.
• Navigating the challenges of post-traumatic parenting in the digital age.
• Benefits of addressing personal traumas and unresolved issues before starting a family.
• What are some alternative options for post-traumatic parents to talk to their children about them without passing their own hang-ups?
• The importance of allowing your body to release trauma through shaking and other physical responses naturally.

Connect with me on Instagram @dr.koslowitzpsychology. For full show notes and more resources visit www.drrobynkoslowitz.com/2023/07/26/parent-the-child…h-brie-turns-coe

Tune in to today's episode to explore the topic of shame in parenting, healing low self-worth, and how to provide children with a shame-free childhood. My special guest, Maggie Nick, founder of Parenting with Perspectacles, shares her inspiring story of breaking the cycle of shame in parenting and together, we discuss the importance of breaking these cycles to ensure our children grow up feeling loved and worthy. We also talk about the transformative power of rejecting shame, fear, intimidation, and punishment as parenting tools and challenge the notion that being a "good parent" depends on having a "good" and obedient child. 

Join us as we explore why is it so important to allow children to release stress and regulate themselves, the negative impact of the fear of being perceived as a bad parent if a child acts disrespectfully, how to set boundaries without shaming or threatening your children to strengthen the parent-child bond, and more.

• Maggie's journey as a cycle breaker and her realization that trauma and shame in parenting were the root causes of her own struggles.
• Breaking cycles of trauma and shame in parenting to ensure children grow up feeling loved and worthy.
• Exploration of the deep sadness, despair, and jealousy that can arise when providing a different, more loving parenting experience to your own children.
• Rejecting the idea of using shame, fear, intimidation, and punishment to enforce compliance and obedience in children.
• Being a "good parent" is not solely determined by having a "good" and respectful child.
• Why do you need to allow children to release stress and regulate themselves through resistance and pushing back?
• Exploring the negative impact of shame and the fear of being perceived as a bad parent if a child acts disrespectfully.
• Estrangement from a parent is a serious decision that results from severe mistreatment. People may judge estrangement because it challenges their own beliefs about maintaining relationships with their parents.
• Challenging negative self-beliefs and recognizing their origins can promote healing and prevent passing on harmful patterns to children.
• Why is it important to hold space for children to express their negative emotions and allow them to release and clear any underlying issues?
• Children who hold everything in and pretend to be fine may experience chronic dysregulation and can benefit from emotional releases.
• Parents may get triggered by their child's behavior due to their own past traumas, and it's important to recognize and heal those triggers.
• Trusting the body's response and understanding that there's always a reason behind reactions can help parents navigate challenging situations with their children.
• Reactions to children are often not about the child but about the parent's past experiences, and it's important to separate the two.

Connect with me on Instagram @dr.koslowitzpsychology. For full show notes and more resources visit www.drrobynkoslowitz.com/2023/07/19/breaking-the-cyc…with-maggie-nick

In today's episode, I had the pleasure of hosting Michelle Zagardo, a member of the post-traumatic parenting community. Our discussion centered around post-traumatic parenting while in eating disorder recovery. We debunked the myth that only those who are severely ill require treatment for eating disorders. Additionally, we delved into the relationship between food and control, especially for individuals who grew up without much autonomy. 

We also explored how societal messages can impact our relationship with food and our bodies. It is crucial to have a healthy relationship with food, where it is viewed as a tool for nourishment and enjoyment without becoming an obsession. 

Furthermore, we highlighted how parents can inadvertently project their discomfort with food onto their children, leading to a lack of self-regulation and co-regulation skills. Tune in as we examine the impact of trauma on our relationship with our bodies, how it can become a battlefield that we cannot escape, and discover how to model positive relationships with food and your body for your children.

• Michelle shares her experience of post-traumatic parenting while in eating disorder recovery.
• Michelle explains the concept of having a competent relationship with food.
• Differing perspectives on feeding children candy.
• Potential risks of hyper-focusing on nutrition and creating hangups about food.
• How do big industrial food companies make non-nutrient-dense foods attractive to children?
• Importance of balance and avoiding perfectionism in post-traumatic parenting.
• Early childhood experiences with food impact our relationship with food later in life.
• How parents can unintentionally project their own discomfort with food onto their children?
• How can you as a parent model positive relationships with food and your body for your children?
• Educating children about nutrition can be done positively by focusing on nutrients rather than labeling food as "healthy" or "unhealthy."
• Influence of diet culture and societal pressures on body image and self-perception.
• How can trauma disconnect us from our bodies and lead to eating disorders?

Connect with me on Instagram @dr.koslowitzpsychology. For full show notes and more resources visit www.drrobynkoslowitz.com/2023/07/12/eating-disorder-recovery-for-post-traumatic-parents-with-michelle-zagardo

In today's podcast episode, I delve deep into the world of parts work therapy with the incredible trauma therapist, author, and parts work expert - Ilyse Kennedy. Ilyse's area of expertise lies in working with complex trauma, and she has helped numerous parents unpack their trauma while parenting their children.

In this interview, Ilyse sheds light on the concept of parts work therapy, which involves identifying and addressing different parts of yourself. She also talks about the importance of parts work therapy and how it can help post-traumatic parents navigate the challenges of parenthood. Tune in as we discuss the unique struggles post-traumatic parents face daily, the pitfalls of social media's idealized versions of motherhood, and how to embrace your authentic qualities as both an individual and a remarkable parent.

• Ilyse’s background and experience in trauma and parts work therapy.
• What is parts work therapy?
• The concept of self-energy.
• How does parts work therapy help post-traumatic parents navigate the challenges of parenting?
• The connection between trauma and postpartum depression.
• How becoming a parent can bring up unresolved childhood trauma.
• The challenges presented by the added layer of trauma for post-traumatic parents.
• The significance of trauma awareness in parenting and the exploration of your own childhood experiences.
• How does parts work therapy help post-traumatic parents better understand themselves and navigate parenting challenges?
• The pressure and comparison caused by social media accounts that portray idealized versions of motherhood.
• The value of recognizing and appreciating your own qualities as an individual and parent.

Connect with me on Instagram @dr.koslowitzpsychology. For full show notes and more resources visit www.drrobynkoslowitz.com/2023/06/06/parts-work-therapy-for-post-traumatic-parents-with-ilyse-kennedy/