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Reposting again in case you missed it! These things are common in my practice and everyday clinical encounters. Hoping they resonate for you also. :)

Ever wish a single sentence could lower the volume, keep your boundary, and actually teach a skill? We dig into three phrases nearly every adult has used with kids—“Because I said so,” identity-laced labels, and “There’s no reason to cry”—and offer practical swaps that reduce power struggles while strengthening connection. As a licensed psychologist and professor, I unpack how a child’s brain hears our words, why timing matters more than perfectly crafted lectures, and how short scripts can turn conflict into coaching.

We start by reframing authority with clarity. Instead of relying on blunt power, I show how a brief reason satisfies a child’s need for predictability and how a simple code word agreement creates a shared signal to pause, listen, and follow through. From there, we tackle labels that stick. You’ll learn to replace “You’re acting like a jerk” with I-statements that name your feeling and the impact of the behavior, keeping dignity intact while inviting accountability and empathy.

We also face the tears. Rather than dismissing feelings, we practice validation paired with firm limits: acknowledging emotion without rewarding misbehavior. I share quick language to build emotional vocabulary—sad, embarrassed, hurt—and a calm-down-then-coach rhythm that moves the conversation from meltdown to meaningful repair. Throughout, the focus is on language that teaches, protects the relationship, and makes daily life smoother at home and in the classroom.

If these scripts help, share the episode with a friend who needs a reset, subscribe for more practical psychology, and leave a review with the phrase you plan to swap first. Your words matter—let’s make them work for you.

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.

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Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at [email protected]

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