Things You Learn in Therapy

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Gratitude can sound like fluff until you’re the one stuck in a spiral of stress, negativity, or “I can’t handle one more thing.” We get real about why gratitude isn’t a forced smile, and why it can actually support mental health when you practice it in a grounded, specific way.

Leslie Bolser sits down with psychologist Dr. Beth Trammell to unpack the art and science behind gratitude-based interventions in therapy, including how gratitude can help with anxiety, depression, and day-to-day burnout. We talk about the trap of performative gratitude and why generic statements can backfire, especially when life is heavy. Instead, Dr. Trammell reframes gratitude as a close companion to optimism: not denying what’s hard, but training your attention to recognize what’s still good and true right now.

You’ll also hear simple, doable ideas for building a gratitude practice, like a short daily routine or a shared gratitude app that creates connection across distance. Then we shift to the relational side: how to tell someone you’re thankful without making it weird, why “I appreciate you” can feel more natural than “I’m grateful for you,” and when a thoughtful text or email can land just as well as saying it in person.

If you want a practical gratitude practice that improves mindset and strengthens relationships, press play. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs a reset, and leave a review, what’s one specific thing you appreciate today?

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.

If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: Podcast Application Form

Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at [email protected]

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When a conversation gets heated, it’s not just awkward, it’s biological. Your body gears up for threat, your thoughts get narrow, and suddenly you’re saying things you don’t mean or going quiet when you want to connect. Recording on location at a conference, I share a quick, practical framework I come back to again and again as a psychologist: CALM.

CALM stands for Catch your breath, Adjust your face, Lean in, and Make it meaningful. We start with the fastest reset you can use anywhere: an intentional breath, including a simple box breathing pattern that helps your logical brain come back online. Then we talk about nonverbal communication and why “fix your face” isn’t a joke. Your expression can accidentally escalate a high conflict conversation, especially with anxious partners, kids, or teens who read your cues as anger even when you’re not mad.

From there, we move into the part most people skip: tolerating discomfort. Leaning in doesn’t mean forcing a hard talk at the worst moment, it means staying curious and present when emotions are big and you’re tempted to avoid. Finally, we focus on what makes a hard moment meaningful: listening without interrupting, fixing, or rushing. If you want therapy-informed tools for emotional regulation, conflict de-escalation, and better communication skills, this is a strong place to start.

If this helped, subscribe, share it with a friend who’s navigating tough conversations, and leave a review so more people can find the show.

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.

If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: Podcast Application Form

Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at [email protected]

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Grief can be loud, but it can also be quiet, practical, funny, angry, distracted, and all of it can still be real. I’m Dr. Beth Trammell, and I’m sharing a short, direct message for anyone trying to support a community after tragic loss. When people are hurting, especially after the death of a young person, the pressure to say the right thing and lead the right way can feel crushing. The truth is simpler and harder: our job isn’t to make grief go well, it’s to make room for it.

We talk about what grief support actually looks like day to day, including why you shouldn’t confuse a lack of visible emotion with a lack of emotion. I spend time on teen grief and bereavement, and why boys and young men may show pain through joking, irritability, shutting down, or diving back into routines. We explore practical ways to help a grieving teen feel safe without forcing a talk, like inviting them for pizza, taking a drive, shooting hoops, or just being nearby. Healing occurs when safety is present, and predictability is one of the best ways adults can build that safety.

We also get specific about what to say to someone who lost someone and what not to say. Cliches like “Everything happens for a reason” can wound more than comfort, while honest presence can steady someone for the long haul. If this resonates, share it with a parent, coach, teacher, or friend, and please subscribe and leave a review so more people can find support when grief hits.

If you or someone you know is experiencing a crisis — whether it’s suicidal thoughts, emotional distress, abuse, or another urgent situation — 988 is a free, confidential, and 24/7 resource available nationwide. Call, text or chat.

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Your kid swears they didn’t take the sucker, even though you watched it happen, and suddenly you’re asking a much bigger question: how do I raise a person with integrity? We dig into integrity as a practical parenting value with my friends from CEV, defined simply as choosing to be truthful in whatever you say and do, and we keep it grounded in real life rather than perfect-life slogans. We also share a powerful “long view” idea: success isn’t just getting kids through school, it’s who they become at 27, 47, and beyond.

We talk honestly about honesty. Kids lie, adults bend rules, and families often send mixed messages without meaning to. Dr. Beth Trammell explains why truth telling looks different across child development, especially before abstract thinking fully kicks in, and how parents can set clear expectations without turning every moment into a debate. We connect honesty to trust and to becoming an askable, reachable adult, because kids tell the truth more when they believe they’ll be heard, not crushed.

Then we zoom out to older kids and teens, where integrity becomes “who you are when no one is watching.” We cover unseen moments behind a keyboard, reputation and reliability with friends, and modern challenges like cheating and using AI for assignments. You’ll leave with simple conversation starters, a gut-check test for gray areas, and a clearer way to teach moral decision-making at every age.

If this helped, subscribe for more monthly “word” conversations, share the episode with a parent friend, and leave a review so more families can find practical guidance on raising kids with integrity.

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.

If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: Podcast Application Form

Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at [email protected]

Support the show

www.bethtrammell.com

Send us Fan Mail

Your teenager doesn’t need you to be a mind reader, a private investigator, or a walking grade portal. They need you to be a safe place. I’m Dr. Beth Trammell, and I’m unpacking what a group of teens directly asked their parents to do differently, plus the small communication shifts that make a big difference in connection, trust, and long-term influence.

We talk about the pressure teens carry today: identity, friendships, big emotions, body changes, social media, and rising academic expectations. Then we get practical about parent teen communication skills that lower defensiveness, including modeling feelings language, using tools like a feelings wheel, and validating without automatically agreeing. You’ll also hear what teens want around trust and repair, including why “I’m sorry” matters, why “I’m sorry, but…” is not an apology, and how your first reaction can either open the door or slam it shut.

From there, I share three places parents can reorient: grades, risk, and respect. If your teen is generally doing fine, constant grade checking can create avoidable conflict and weaken trust. For risk, we move from controlling every variable to coaching better judgment with simple questions like “What could go wrong?” And when “attitude” shows up, we consider brain development and how to stay warm and firm while still requiring respectful speech.

If you found this helpful, subscribe, share it with another parent of a teen, and leave a review so more families can find the show. What part of parenting a teenager feels hardest right now?

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.

If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: Podcast Application Form

Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at [email protected]

Support the show

www.bethtrammell.com

Send us Fan Mail

“I don’t want to go to school” can sound like defiance, but it’s often a doorway into what your child cannot quite name yet. I’m Dr. Beth Trammell, and I walk through the most common versions of school refusal I hear from parents, from “I just want to stay home and play Minecraft” to morning tears that make drop-off feel unbearable. Instead of jumping straight to lectures, reassurance, or panic, we slow down and use curiosity to uncover what’s underneath the words.

You’ll hear simple, real-world parenting scripts that validate emotions while keeping the boundary: you can understand the feeling without automatically removing the expectation. We talk about how not every uncomfortable feeling means something is wrong, and why rescuing a child from anxiety can bring short-term relief but reduce long-term confidence. I also share practical ideas for separation anxiety, including small comfort items, ways to check in with teachers, and how to tell the difference between missing you and something more serious.

We dig into the hidden meaning behind “school is boring” and “school is too long,” and I offer questions that reveal whether the struggle is academic, social, sensory, or emotional. Finally, we cover the red flags that warrant extra support, and when it’s time to contact a pediatrician, therapist, or school counselor. If this helps, subscribe, share it with a parent who needs better words for hard mornings, and leave a review. What phrase does your child use when something deeper is going on?

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.

If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: Podcast Application Form

Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at [email protected]

Support the show

www.bethtrammell.com

Send us Fan Mail

Burnout doesn’t always show up as collapse. Sometimes it shows up as competence that never turns off, a brain that can’t tolerate quiet, and a calendar packed with “necessary” things that somehow never end. Marie Sloane, LPC, joins us to name what so many people are living right now: life moves fast, but recovery moves slower, and that mismatch is exhausting.

We talk about why time can feel warped in a world of constant stimulation, and why boredom has become strangely hard for both kids and adults. From there, we get practical about self-care strategies that work in real life, not influencer life. We break down the guilt loop of “I should be doing something else,” the all-or-nothing trap that makes people quit, and a simple framework we love: small daily actions that remove a few “pebbles” from the heavy backpack you carry every day.

We also go deeper into trauma-informed therapy insights, especially overfunctioning. We unpack how overfunctioning can start as a survival skill, then get rewarded by work culture and relationships until it becomes physically and emotionally unsustainable. If you’ve ever felt selfish for having needs, or you only feel safe when you’re producing, this conversation will land.

We close with ways to plan for obstacles before motivation disappears, including accountability and community support that keeps self-care from becoming another broken promise. If this helped you, subscribe, share it with someone who’s running on fumes, and leave a review so more people can find these burnout recovery tools.

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.

If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: Podcast Application Form

Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at [email protected]

Support the show

www.bethtrammell.com

Send us Fan Mail

Friendship advice for kids is everywhere. The harder question is what our children learn from the friendships they see us live. In this CEV crossover episode, we dig into adult friendship as a parenting model: how we prioritize people, how we handle conflict or hurt, and how our everyday choices quietly teach kids what “healthy relationships” actually look like.

We also get honest about a common reality: many kids rarely see their parents with friends, especially as schedules fill up and social time gets squeezed out. So we talk through practical, appropriate ways to give kids a lens into adult connection without oversharing, including how to share friendship stories, values, and lessons before a problem hits.

Then we shift to the real-world challenge of making friends as an adult. When kids’ activities slow down, the easy pathways disappear, and “put yourself out there” can feel intimidating. We share doable steps: start with the people already near you, choose one small way to invest, say yes more often, and use community spaces like a public library, the YMCA, volunteering, or helping at a school. And if loneliness or anxiety is making connection feel out of reach, we name when it makes sense to talk with a therapist or your doctor, because social connection matters for mental health.

Subscribe for more practical parenting conversations, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a review with your best tip for building adult friendships.

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.

If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: Podcast Application Form

Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at [email protected]

Support the show

www.bethtrammell.com

Send us Fan Mail

A child wakes up terrified, your nervous system snaps online, and suddenly everyone is exhausted. In this throwback episode from Kids These Days!, we sit down with Australian psychologist Krysten Taprell, known as The Therapist Parent, to share practical, evidence-based tools you can use right in your living room to help kids with nightmares, big feelings, and the daily stress that comes with being a family. 

Krysten explains a surprisingly simple technique for child nightmares: rewrite the ending of the dream while your child is awake, so their brain rehearses safety and control instead of fear. We also talk about what to say in the middle of the night, why “don’t think about it” backfires, and how the same approach can help kids replay tough moments like playground conflicts and try a better ending. If you’ve been looking for realistic parenting support that does not require perfect timing or endless appointments, this is a strong place to start. 

From there, we get into gratitude for kids as a true mental health skill, not a one-time question at dinner. Krysten shares why many children get stuck on the same answers and how prompts can help them notice memories, strengths, and challenges they’ve overcome. We also connect the dots between teaching skills instead of punishing behavior, and why mindfulness for kids helps both children and parents regulate emotions. Krysten breaks down the brain science in plain language, including the vagus nerve, relaxation, and how mindfulness supports the prefrontal cortex so we react less and think more clearly. 

If you want more tools, Krysten shares where to find her resources, including her website, blogs, and her nightmare book available on Amazon. Subscribe, share this with a parent who needs sleep, and leave a review so more families can find these strategies.

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.

If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: Podcast Application Form

Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at [email protected]

Support the show

www.bethtrammell.com

Send us Fan Mail

You ever hit the point where you’re ready to delete every social app, then somehow end up back on Instagram or TikTok a few days later? We get honest about that social media push pull, including the part that feels most frustrating: even when you understand what’s happening in your brain, you can still get pulled in. 

We walk through how reinforcement works, why variable rewards keep us checking, and how quickly a simple post can turn into scrolling, comparison, and chasing numbers. Then we zoom out to the bigger question that doesn’t get enough airtime: what happens when being seen isn’t occasional, but part of how you make a living? When views affect opportunities, engagement affects income, and “authentic” becomes a brand expectation, the platform can start asking more of you than you meant to give. 

The practical takeaway is a small shift we’re trying in real time: purpose from the pull. Before opening an app, we pause and ask why we’re going there, what we’re searching for, what our body is craving, and what we actually need. That gap between craving and need is where intentional social media use and digital wellbeing can start to grow, without falling into all-or-nothing thinking. 

If this hits home, share it with a friend who’s stuck in the scroll, subscribe for more, and leave a review so more listeners can find the show. What pulls you back in most?

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.

If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: Podcast Application Form

Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at [email protected]

Support the show

www.bethtrammell.com