Things You Learn in Therapy

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Your feed can make you feel like everyone else has parenting figured out and your brain treats those images like facts. That is where the spiral starts: comparison, pressure, overstimulation, and the quiet sense that you are failing at something that is already hard. We sit down with licensed professional counselor Nicole McNelis, a perinatal mental health clinician and leading voice on mom rage, to name what is actually happening when parents scroll and why it hits so deeply.

We talk about the strange mix social media creates, a friend’s real-life update next to professional, aspirational influencer content, and how that “all in one stream” effect confuses our sense of normal. Nicole breaks down the types of parenting influencers, from “I’m just like you” relatability to expert-driven authority, and how both can monetize fear with dramatic promises that are not even developmentally realistic. If you have ever felt pulled toward a quick fix, a course, a journal, or a miracle toddler strategy, you will recognize the pattern.

Then we get practical. We share tools for becoming a critical consumer, taking intentional pauses to check your “why,” swapping in replacement behaviors that actually regulate your nervous system, and adding friction by changing how you access apps. We also dig into modeling for kids, from device-free meals to screen boundaries that can evolve as your family evolves, all grounded in self-compassion and ongoing recalibration. If this conversation helps, subscribe, share it with a parent friend, and leave a quick review so more families can find it.

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Therapy is “just listening” the way surgery is “just holding a scalpel.” Barbara Sheehan Zeidler joins me to name the thing many clinicians feel but rarely say out loud: our presence is the intervention. Barbara is a licensed professional counselor, an EMDR approved trainer and consultant, IFS Level 3 certified, and a proud polyvagal nerd, and she breaks down why grounded attunement, self-awareness, and compassionate empathy create the safety that makes any modality actually work.

We also go straight into the money conversation therapists tend to avoid. We unpack why accepting payment can feel awkward, how the “fix it” narrative fuels anxious overfunctioning, and why undercharging often ties back to old family stories about scarcity and what it means to be “rich.” We contrast cost vs value in therapy and ask the harder question: what does it cost to keep living with disconnection, conflict, and daily misery?

Then we get practical about building alternative income streams for therapists so your career stays sustainable and burnout-resistant. We talk workshops, intensives, retreats, consultation, reputation-building through community offerings, and how to start with what you’re naturally good at instead of copying someone else’s business model. If you want a healthier practice and a calmer relationship with pricing, hit play, share this with a clinician friend, and leave a review. What’s one belief about money you’re ready to rewrite?

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Trauma doesn’t have to be catastrophic to be real and “it wasn’t bad enough” might be the most common thought that keeps people from getting help. We sit down with Scott E. Stolarick, LCPC, CCTP, a trauma-informed therapist and the owner of Mosaic Pathway Counseling, to unpack why trauma isn’t a competition and why two people can live through the same moment and walk away with completely different nervous system responses. If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re overreacting, whether you should just get over it, or whether therapy is “for people with bigger problems,” this conversation is for you. 

We talk about how validation works in trauma therapy and why so many clients come in hoping a professional will “rate” their experience. Scott offers a grounded reframe: you’re the author of your story, and your internal reaction deserves attention even when outsiders don’t understand it. We also explore how disclosure is shaped by the responses people get from family, partners, and communities, especially when the trauma is sexual abuse or another topic that gets minimized, doubted, or brushed aside. 

Then we get practical about EMDR therapy, a trauma treatment modality that can feel more structured than traditional talk therapy. We cover informed consent, readiness, why EMDR can move quickly, and why the therapist’s role is often to create safety and then get out of the way so your mind and body can process. We close with one of the most underrated tools in healing: repair, accountability, and honest feedback inside the therapy relationship. 

If this helped you name something you’ve been carrying, subscribe for more, share this episode with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find trauma-informed mental health conversations.

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.

If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6

Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at [email protected]

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Summer doesn’t need to be a “go with the flow” free-for-all to be fun. I’m Dr. Beth Trammell, and I’m sharing a simple, therapy-informed way to plan a season that actually matches your life: your work schedule, your home projects, your relationships, and the kind of rest you want to feel when fall arrives.

We start with practical goal setting that works. If your goals sound like “work out more” or “drink more water,” they’re probably too vague to stick. I talk through how to make goals specific, how to keep them realistic based on where you’re starting, and why aiming too high often leads to quitting two weeks later. We also get honest about setbacks. Summer is full of obstacles, from parties and family reunions to ice cream stops and buffet tables, so we plan strategies before temptation shows up.

Then we shift to parenting and summer routines for kids. Summer has a different rhythm than the school year, but kids still benefit from structure, clear expectations, and simple routines. I share a real example from my own home, including a daily checklist with creativity time, reading, thinking time, movement, together time, and hydration. We wrap with an important topic that can save you a lot of stress later: maintaining a consistent sleep-wake cycle so the return to school doesn’t become a painful reset.

If you want a calmer, more intentional summer without overplanning it, listen now. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs a reset, and leave a review so more people can find the show. **Replay from 2024

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.

If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6

Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at [email protected]

Support the show

www.bethtrammell.com

Send us Fan Mail

Most conflict doesn’t end a relationship. The lack of repair does. I’m joined by Paula Yost, a rare blend of attorney and licensed clinical mental health therapy supervisor, to talk about what she sees when people walk into a law office on the worst day of their lives and why legal training often misses the trauma, grief, anxiety, and mental illness sitting right in front of it.

We dig into the practical overlap between mental health and the legal system: why clients repeatedly ask the same question when they’re dysregulated, how cognitive behavioral therapy and nervous system skills can make someone a calmer, clearer client, and why attorneys should build real referral relationships with therapists. We also address a point that protects clinicians: a subpoena is not automatically a green light to hand over your entire file, and confidentiality still matters even when court pressure shows up.

From there, we move into the heart of it: relationship repair. We talk about why “let’s just not talk about it” keeps hurt alive, how scorekeeping grows when accountability never comes, and why family estrangement can be the final stage of years of unaddressed pain. Paula shares concrete repair tools that work in everyday conflict, including better timing, curiosity questions that de-escalate, and what an actual apology sounds like when it includes ownership and a plan to change. We also connect the dots to modeling healthy repair for kids, so they learn what constructive conflict looks like instead of silence or explosions.

If you want better boundaries, stronger relationships, and more peace after hard conversations, listen now. Subscribe, share this with someone who avoids the repair talk, and leave a review with the skill you’re practicing this week.

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.

If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6

Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at [email protected]

Support the show

www.bethtrammell.com

Send us Fan Mail

Grief can feel like a private storm, but it’s also one of the most universal experiences we share and it doesn’t only arrive after a death. I sit down with licensed professional counselor and advanced grief counseling specialist Jillian Oetting to name the kinds of loss that often get ignored: anticipatory grief with dementia or terminal illness, disenfranchised grief after pregnancy loss or infertility, ambiguous loss in estrangement or addiction, and the identity grief that can follow career shifts or postpartum change.

We also challenge the idea that grief has a clean finish line. Jillian shares a powerful “rock in your pocket” metaphor: the rock doesn’t shrink, but you grow around it, and grief bursts can still surprise you years later. From there, we dig into grief counseling frameworks that feel realistic, including the dual process model of moving between loss-oriented coping and restoration-oriented coping, plus the tasks of mourning that focus on accepting reality, processing pain, adjusting to a changed world, and finding an enduring connection through meaning making.

Then we make it practical for real relationships. We talk about what to say when you’re afraid of saying the wrong thing, why platitudes like “everything happens for a reason” can land as dismissal, and why “let me know what you need” often adds pressure. Jillian offers concrete, caring alternatives: bring food, handle a small household task, keep showing up months later, and keep saying the person’s name so love and memory can keep breathing.

If someone you love is grieving or you are carrying your own rock, subscribe, share this with a friend, and leave a review. What’s one supportive sentence you wish people would say more often?

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.

If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6

Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at [email protected]

Support the show

www.bethtrammell.com

Send us Fan Mail

Your body reacts before your brain can explain it and that can feel confusing, embarrassing, or downright discouraging. We sit down with licensed therapist Laura Sgro to make the “nervous system” conversation concrete, starting with what people usually mean online: the autonomic nervous system that drives automatic functions like breathing, heart rate, digestion, and your threat response. From anxiety and burnout to shutdown and dissociation, we talk about why these patterns show up and how they can change with awareness and repetition.

Laura walks us through polyvagal theory as a simple ladder you can actually use. We unpack ventral vagal regulation, sympathetic fight-or-flight activation, and dorsal vagal collapse, plus how neuroception can misread safety when you’re exhausted, stressed, or carrying trauma history. We also challenge the idea that one state is “good” and the others are “bad” because each has a purpose. The goal is not perfection, it’s flexibility and choice.

Then we get practical: how to find your baseline, how to map what each state feels like in your body, and why “just calm down” is sometimes the wrong move. We share downregulation tools like the physiological sigh, upregulation ideas like gentle movement and sensory cues, and how co-regulation works in real relationships without sliding into codependency. You’ll leave with a clearer nervous system vocabulary and a kinder way to measure progress. 
Subscribe, share this with someone who’s been feeling stuck, and leave a review with your favorite “glimmer” of safety from your day.

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.

If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6

Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at [email protected]

Support the show

www.bethtrammell.com

Send us Fan Mail

Success can be a brilliant strategy and a brutal one. When you’re wired for performance, you can push through pain, outwork exhaustion, and even “do therapy” like it’s another assignment. But what happens when the grind starts costing you sleep, intimacy, health, and the ability to feel anything at all?

We sit down with Dr. Akua K. Boateng to unpack the high achiever mindset and the emotional blind spots it can create. We talk about harmony instead of balance, why harmony has no metric, and how surrendering the constant striving can bring you back to a grounded center that’s already there. We also explore how ambition can operate as a defense or even a trauma response, making slowing down feel like a threat rather than relief.

From a therapist’s perspective, we get practical: why high performers can excel at CBT homework while still avoiding emotional discovery, how to work collaboratively without getting dazzled by proficiency, and when it helps to name the neuroscience in real time (amygdala activation, chronic limbic override, prefrontal cortex coming back online). We also zoom in on body-based signals like insomnia, high blood pressure, fatigue, forgetfulness, and volatility as early “micro-fractures” worth investigating before everything collapses.

If you’re a high performing professional, caregiver, athlete, or leader who’s quietly cracking, this conversation offers language and strategies for emotional wellness without losing your edge. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review with the biggest “that’s me” moment you heard.

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.

If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6

Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at [email protected]

Support the show

www.bethtrammell.com

Send us Fan Mail

One small request can feel like a breaking point when you’ve already been carrying too much and you’re not sure where the extra capacity is supposed to come from. We sit with that exact moment, the “I’m quitting everything” feeling, and unpack why it shows up for so many people across work, parenting, relationships, and caregiving. When overwhelm hits, it’s rarely about the final task. It’s about the invisible load behind it.

Our guest, therapist and private practice owner Jacque Tyrrell, helps us name the hidden cost of constant adjusting: the emotional energy it takes to pivot, replan, brace for outcomes, and regulate fear over and over again. We also talk about how quickly we label that internal work as “rumination,” and how reframing it can replace shame with compassion. If you’ve ever wondered why a “tiny” detail like a school form can trigger tears, this conversation offers a grounded explanation that actually fits real life.

We also keep it honest about privilege and access. Not everyone can outsource tasks or carve out time for ideal self-care, and advice that ignores that can feel like one more demand. We share practical strategies that scale: delegating where you can, communicating what’s realistic, sorting tasks by urgency, loosening perfectionism, and choosing one next step instead of ten. If you’re tired of hustle culture telling you to push harder, this episode offers a better question: what do you have the capacity for right now?

If this resonates, subscribe, share it with someone who’s carrying a lot, and leave a review so more listeners can find the show. What’s the “one more thing” that feels like too much lately?

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.

If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6

Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at [email protected]

Support the show

Support the show

www.bethtrammell.com

Send us Fan Mail

You can ask for something small, like a knock before someone enters your space, and suddenly you’re defending your character, calming their emotions, and questioning your own reality. That spiral is not a personal failure, it’s often a predictable pattern in relationships with emotionally immature parents and other emotionally immature people. We talk about why “just set a boundary” can backfire for adult children of dysfunctional families, how guilt hijacks the nervous system, and why the aftermath can feel so lonely and disorienting.

Jessica breaks down DARVO (deny, attack, reverse victim and offender) in plain language and explains how it fuels the crazy-making loop that pulls you back into caretaking. From there, we dig into the “healing fantasy” (a term from psychologist Lindsay Gibson): the relentless hope that if you find the perfect words, do enough therapy, or become “good enough,” they’ll finally see you, validate you, and change. We also explore how that fantasy can quietly migrate into partnerships, friendships, and work, placing impossible pressure on other people to heal childhood wounds.

We end with real, grounded hope: trauma may be part of your story, but it doesn’t have to be your identity. We discuss grief work, inner child work, parts work, and rebuilding self-trust so your past can be true without wrecking you. If this conversation resonates, subscribe for more trauma-informed therapy conversations, share it with someone who needs language for what they’re living, and leave a review so more listeners can find the show.

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.

If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6

Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at [email protected]

Support the show

www.bethtrammell.com