Practicing Hope Podcast

Can we be honest? Blame feels good — at least for a moment. It's quick, easy, and even a little satisfying to find someone else to fault. But before we know it, that "warm blanket" of blame can leave us isolated and stuck.

In this next installment of the Relational Triangles series on the Practicing Hope Podcast, Sarah Johnson joins Tanner Smith and Chase Rashad Stancle to explore the role of the Accuser and how to move from calling people out to calling people in. Together, they unpack how fear, blame, and even our brains can keep us reactive and how curiosity, confession, and prayer can open space for real connection and growth.

In this episode, you'll hear:

• Why anxious systems feed on blame and how to calm them

• How to shift from accuser to challenger

• A simple prayer to slow down and respond with wisdom

Show Notes

• Stephen Karpman's Drama Triangle: Victim, Villain, Hero roles

• Brain science: amygdala, mirror neurons, dopamine/oxytocin

• Psalm 139 — "Search me and know my heart…"

• PDF: 15 Reflection Questions for Leaders — a free PDF with 10+ thoughtful prompts you can keep in your back pocket to reframe conflict and invite growth

• Slowing Down Guide — a simple, free, practical resource to help leaders pause, breathe, and show up as a peaceful presence when tensions rise

• Staying Grounded Guide — a reflection-based guide that helps you pause in the heat of tension and move from reactivity to agency, so you can show up with greater clarity, peace, and presence.

If you're interested in learning more about The Colossian Forum, visit our website colossianforum.org, and follow us on social media @colossianforum.

Have you ever felt the pressure to fix everyone else's problems?

Maybe with your kids, your congregation, or coworkers, you step in, smooth things over, and carry weight that isn't yours. It feels noble, but it can drain you and keep others from growing.

What if rescuing isn't the most loving thing you can do?

In Part 2 of our Relational Triangles series, hosts Tanner Smith and Chase Rashad Stancle — joined by Sarah Johnson — unpack the "hero/rescuer" role of the Drama Triangle: why anxious systems reward over-functioning and how to shift from rescuer to coach with simple, wise questions.

In this episode, you'll hear:

• Why leaders are tempted to over-function

• How rescuing can quietly dishonor people

• Coaching questions to invite growth instead of fixing

Show Notes:

• Stephen Karpman's Drama Triangle: Victim, Villain, Hero roles

• 1 Corinthians 12–14 (body metaphor)

• Slowing Down Guide — a simple, free, practical resource to help leaders pause, breathe, and show up as a peaceful presence when tensions rise

• PDF: Coaching Questions for Leaders — a free PDF with 10+ thoughtful prompts you can keep in your back pocket to reframe conflict and invite growth

If you're interested in learning more about The Colossian Forum, visit our website colossianforum.org, and follow us on social media @colossianforum.

Have you ever found yourself pulled into someone else's conflict?

It happens at work, at church, even in the grocery store. One moment you're minding your own business, and the next you're caught in the middle of a conversation that really belongs between two other people. What if, instead of absorbing stress that isn't yours, you could learn to notice these moments and respond more healthily?

In this hope-filled episode of Leading in Practice, hosts Tanner Smith and Chase Rashad Stancle explore the hidden dynamics of relational triangles. They share stories from pastoral life, practical strategies to "flatten the triangle," and ways to discern when you're moving toward connection—or just lowering discomfort. Along with guest producer Sarah, they reveal how triangles can either short-circuit relationships or create surprising space for wisdom and healing.

In this episode, you'll hear:

• How to spot the difference between gossip, venting, and seeking wisdom.

• A simple practice for "flattening the triangle" and inviting the right person in.

• Why noticing your patterns can help you stay grounded instead of over-functioning.

Show Notes:

• Edwin Friedman's "balcony vs. dance floor" metaphor from Leadership on the Line by Ronald Heifetz and Marty Linsky

• The Karpman Drama Triangle: victim, villain, hero roles

If you're interested in learning more about The Colossian Forum, visit our website colossianforum.org, and follow us on social media @colossianforum.

Have you ever lost yourself in the middle of conflict?

When tensions rise, many of us either rush to fix things or soften the edges to keep the peace. But what if you could stay grounded — anchored in your values — even when things get hard?

In this honest and hope-filled episode of Practicing Hope, Rev. Tanner Smith and Pastor Chase Rashad Stancle explore what it means to be a defined leader: someone who knows their values, shows up with clarity, and doesn't disappear in the heat of conflict. You'll laugh, reflect, and leave with practical tools for staying present when it matters most.

In this episode, you'll hear:

• How shared language can build trust in hard conversations.

• How to name the values that keep you grounded.

• Simple practices for staying connected when tensions rise.

Show Notes:

• Learn more about Schwartz's Values Wheel

• Try the Competing Values Card Game

• Feelings Wheel

• Terry Real podcast episode on generational trauma.

• Fred Rogers quote: "Anything that's human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone."

If you're interested in learning more about The Colossian Forum, visit our website colossianforum.org, and follow us on social media @colossianforum.

If you'd like to receive bi-monthly prayer, encouragement, and hopeful practices, subscribe to our email newsletter, Hope in Your Inbox.

What if the key to peace is getting closer, not pulling away?

In this episode of Practicing Hope, Tanner Smith sits down with Todd Deatherage and Emily Cullum of Telos, a peacemaking organization that leads immersive trips into places shaped by conflict. Together, they explore how "getting proximate" — moving toward people and places we don't understand — can transform our lives, deepen empathy, and help us love more like Jesus.

If you've ever wondered how to faithfully engage across difference or how to love when it's hard, this conversation offers hope and practical next steps.

In this episode:

• Proximity helps us see others as fully human.

• Growth and empathy often begin where our comfort ends.

• Christians are called to be peacemakers, even when it's uncomfortable.

Show notes:

• Learn more about Telos Group by visiting their website.

• 2 Corinthians 5

• "Going Toward in Difficult Relationships" episode on the Practicing Hope podcast.

If you're interested in learning more about The Colossian Forum, visit our website colossianforum.org and follow us on social media @colossianforum.

If you'd like to receive bi-monthly prayer, encouragement, and hopeful practices, subscribe to our email newsletter, Hope in Your Inbox.

What does it look like to lead with integrity — in the pulpit and at the dinner table?

In this vulnerable and hopeful episode, Rev. Dr. Tanner Smith and Pastor Chase Rashad Stancle reflect on the real tensions of being both ministry leaders and family members. Through laughter, honest stories, and hard-earned wisdom, they explore what it means to integrate your calling with your core identity. Together, they explore what it means to be fully human, to show up with honesty, and to lead from a place of wholeness.

Whether you're a parent, pastor, or both, this conversation is a gentle invitation to integrate your faith, your work, and your relationships with grace.

In this episode, Chase and Tanner discuss:

• Why leading with integrity starts with knowing yourself

• How open family dialogue builds emotional resilience

• Practices to stay present with your loved ones under pressure

Show notes:

• Proverbs 22:6

• "Growing Yourself Up" by Jenny Brown

• "Everything Isn't Terrible" by Kathleen Smith

If you're interested in learning more about The Colossian Forum, visit our website colossianforum.org, and follow us on social media @colossianforum.

What do you do when funding opportunities come with tension and tough choices?

In this episode on The Practicing Hope Podcast, Jess and Jeff dive into the real-life tension between staying true to your mission and accepting the money that helps make it happen. From generous gifts to gifts with strings attached, they explore how nonprofit leaders can navigate financial decisions without losing their integrity. With honest stories and practical steps, they invite you to lead with courage, even when the pressure is high.

Whether you work in fundraising or just care about doing good work faithfully, this episode offers wisdom and hope for the road ahead.

In this episode, Jess and Jeff discuss:

• Why some gifts come with invisible strings — and how to name them

• How leaders can respond to power and anxiety with systems thinking

• Four steps for navigating funding tensions with wisdom and grace

If you liked this episode, check out these resources:

• "A Spirituality of Fundraising" by Henri Nouwen

• "Leadership is an Art" by Max De Pree

• "Telling Stories in the Dark" by Jeff Munroe

If you're interested in learning more about The Colossian Forum, visit our website colossianforum.org, and follow us on social media @colossianforum.

What if the difficult people in your life are also your greatest teachers?

In this episode, Pastor Chase Rashad Stancle and Rev. Dr. Tanner Smith take an honest, hopeful look at what it means to lead in the midst of hard relationships. Instead of giving a formula to fix "those people," they turn the focus inward, offering wisdom and practical tools to help leaders respond with love, boundaries, and self-awareness.

From guilt bonds to compassion fatigue, they unpack the reasons difficult relationships wear us down. They explore keys to staying grounded in your identity, even when tension rises. This conversation is full of laughter, honesty, and encouragement for any leader who feels worn out by people they're trying to love well.

In this episode, Chase and Tanner discuss:

• Difficult people often reveal the deeper work God is doing in us.

• Healthy boundaries are a gift to you and the people you lead.

• Love doesn't have to be earned to be given

If you liked this episode, check out these resources:

• The Weary Leader's Guide to Burnout – A resource on compassion fatigue and leadership wellness.

• The Wounded Healer by Henri Nouwen – A reflection on how our wounds can become a source of healing for others.

• The Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32) – A biblical story referenced to explore the nature of God's unconditional love.

• Writings by Howard Thurman – Particularly his reflections on inner calm during the civil rights movement and how that inner calm enables nonviolent presence in the face of outer chaos.

If you're interested in learning more about The Colossian Forum, visit our website colossianforum.org, and follow us on social media @colossianforum.

What do you do when the people you lead hold competing values? Whether it's politics, sexuality, or the color of the sanctuary carpet, leaders are often stuck in the middle. They find themselves caught between people who love Jesus but can't see eye to eye.

In this episode, Jess and Jeff draw from real-life examples and Scripture to unpack how non-anxious leadership can change the tone of an entire community. You'll hear stories of the power of curiosity, and how laughter, shared meals, and guiding values can help us reconnect when division threatens to pull us apart.

With wisdom, humor, and even an illustration from a Ted Lasso scene, they offer hopeful next steps for leaders facing division.

You'll hear:

• Why surface issues are rarely the real issues.

• How systems thinking can help leaders stay grounded when anxiety spikes.

• Why curiosity (not judgment) is the key to building connection in divided communities.

If you liked this episode, check out these resources:

• The Darts Scene in Ted Lasso

• "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom" (Viktor Frankl).

• "Telling Stories in the Dark" by Jeffrey Munroe

If you're interested in learning more about The Colossian Forum, visit our website colossianforum.org, and follow us on social media @colossianforum.

What if your body is trying to tell you something important? In this episode, Rev. Dr. Tanner Smith and Pastor Chase Rashad Stancle explore the powerful connection between our bodies, emotions, and spiritual well-being. They discuss how ignoring physical signals can impact leadership, relationships, and mental health. Whether you're a pastor or not, learning to listen to your body can lead to healing, stronger connections, and more intentional decision-making.

In this episode, Tanner and Chase discuss:

• Our bodies send important messages, but we often ignore them to stay busy.

• Neglecting physical needs, like rest and food, can affect how we treat others.

• Paying attention to our bodies can help us heal emotionally and grow in self-awareness.

If you liked this episode, check out these resources:

• "Try Softer" by Aundi Kolber

• "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D.

If you're interested in learning more about The Colossian Forum, visit our website colossianforum.org, and follow us on social media @colossianforum.