I am giving you five biblical principles, which can help you when you’re dealing with difficult people, particularly on your job. Today, our fifth and final principle is:

The “Speak Kind Words” Principle

Here are two verses from Proverbs that tell us how important it is to guard our words carefully and speak words of kindness.

Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up (Proverbs 12:25).

Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a ruling rightly given (Proverbs 25:11).

Rightly given words are those which are strategically selected and gently delivered. They fit the situation perfectly. With these words, you can change an ugly environment or situation into something beautiful—like apples of gold in settings of silver.

For example, suppose you had to confront a person on your job who is repeatedly late to work. Which of these two approaches would be rightly given words?

“I want to point out something that is bothering me. You’ve been late to work a lot, and it just drives me crazy. I want every person here on time every day. You’re paid to be here on time, so I’ll be expecting you to be on time every day from now on. I hope that is clear.”

“I’ve noticed you have some difficulty getting to work on time. Perhaps there is some good reason for that; if so, you need to tell me so we can work it out by cutting your lunch time or having you work later each day. Is there some reason that makes it difficult for you to be here on time each day?”

The first example would cause a defensive, angry reaction and may or may not solve the problem, while the second approach shows some concern for the individual while at the same time making it clear tardiness cannot be tolerated. Those are rightly given words.

Often our choice of words makes all the difference in how responsive the other person will be.