Probing Ancient Aliens

Tsoukalos, Childress, Wilcock and the gang make us think that they’re going to talk about “dat New-New” when it comes to HARD evidence for Ancient Alien visitation in the remote past...but they really just talk about ground penetrating radar and satellite imagery having the ability to look underground without busting open pyramid walls and stuff...which they’ve talked about before. They also wheel Von Daniken out to re-up your subscription to “This is What Ancient Astronaut Theory Is” Weekly, with no new information of any kind from the grand daddy of it all. Let’s prooooooooooooooobe into The New Evidence!

Are aliens secretly behind the trans-humanist movement? Are extraterrestrials influencing humanity to reach the cybernetic singularity so that we can be better prepared for long term space travel and meet our ET creators? Do ancient religious texts speak of Nootropics, nanomachines, genetically modified embryos, and immortality-inducing technology? What would happen if you had robot butt cheeks implanted and you're sitting experience was enhanced 10 times the average human amount of ass-sitting pleasure? Steve and Joey don't know, but our plucky ancient astronaut theorists sure think they do! Let's proooooooooobe into The Next Humans!.

Our earthlings actually the descendants of ancient Martians? Are the angels described in religious texts simply humanoid Mars citizens whose bodies reflect life in a low gravity environment? Is human architecture the same as the artificial structures portrayed by the Mars Rover because we are, in fact, the children of a refugee Martian race? How would we effectively colonize and terraform Mars so that humanity would have a second outpost in case Earth is devastated by famine, war, or asteroid blast? Steve and Joey don’t know, but our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists sure think they do! Let’s prooooooooooooobe into Destination Mars!

Is the continent of Antarctica hiding pyramids from an advanced ancient race of humans...or...earthbound extraterrestrials? Why did the Nazi’s, the US Military, the NSA and 7 different countries all desperately try to claim the unexplored tundra of Antarctica so desperately for the past 70 years? Was Antarctica actually part of a once temperate climate zone as depicted on the Arontus Phineas map? Was the lost city of Atlantis and the Egyptian “Island of the Egg” actually a warm and habitable ancient version of Antarctica? Steve and Joey don’t know, but our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists sure think they do! Let’s prooooooooooooooooobe into Pyramids of Antarctica!

The big numero 10-oh season finale is here, and it's...koind of a bummer! Our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists explore why ancient archaeological antiquities are being destroyed by our fellow men all over the world in barbaric cultural / political wars. Destroying a culture's history, sadly, is nothing knew, but we can rest assured that Tsouks, Childress, Noory and the gang are equally as bummed that ancient artifacts are being busted up beyond repair...because they'll have less pieces of the Ancient Astronaut Theory puzzle to play with! The really have their priorities straight. Let's prooooooooooobe into The Forbidden Zones!

Are aliens waging a brutal, invisible war over our heads this very second? Are humans the offspring of the “winners” of an ancient alien war thousands of years ago? Did the Annunaki destroy their home planet, Nebiru, before ever reaching the ancient Sumerians to be worshiped by gods..and now our asteroid belt is all that’s left of the Annunaki homeworld? Do alien races see us as a threat now that we have nuclear capabilities? Steve and Joey don’t know, but our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists sure think they do! Let’s prooooooooooooobe into The Alien Wars!

Crop circles - geometric shapes embedded into large swaths of farmland by some sort of unseen force: what are they? How are they formed? Are crop circles a hoax...or something we fear so greatly that we avoid the stark truth they’re trying to communicate? Steve and Joey don’t know, but our plucky Ancient Astronaut Researchers sure think they do! Let’s proooooooooobe into one of the (so far, anyway) best episodes that Ancient Aliens has to offer: Circles from the Sky!

Fishies. Jelly-fishies. Shark-fishies. Fish-men. Fish...women. Mmm...Our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists get extra wet n' slippery with this one little probers and probettes, as they discuss the possibility of intelligent life existing thousands of fathoms below our little buns in the salty briney deep. Are there "The Abyss" style aliens in the 90% of the as-yet unexplored ocean? Did space-faring extraterrestrials literally create a melting pot of genetic materials out of the Sea, billions of years ago to kick-start life on earth? Are there amphibious "mer-man" style aliens that came to the Dogons, Japanese, and Greeks only to be worshiped as dripping gods, goddesses or demi-gods? Steve and Joey don't know, but Tsouks, Childress, Wilcock and the gang sure as heck-fire think they do! Let's prooooooooooooooooooooooobe into Creatures of the Deep!

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This is the mac daddy of conspiracy theory movies - and David Wilcock (Five Heads at Freddy's) partners with some interesting folk - including a supposed member of the Secret Space Program - to inform the public about how the truth is actively being subverted by an evil race of Alien Draco Reptillians who are the shadow government behind the Illuminati/Cabal/Elite, whatever. We review this puppy as our first foray into Patreon exclusive content, so let us know what you think in the comments below!

Ancient Aliens, and the Ancient Astronaut theorists that fill out its cast, have never really focused on Exo-Planets - Earth-like habitable planets - before...or have they? Ancient Aliens has really all been about other planets with humanoid beings visiting us since the dawn of time, but this week, Tsouks, Childress, Tzadok and the gang are going deep into our modern search for Exo-Planets and actually doing some pretty good documentary work with...y’know...FACTS mixed in with all the hypothetical ponderings and wonderment. Let’s proooooooooooooobe into The Other Earth!