G’day and bonzer and all that sheet, mate! It’s toim to buggah down with this crocodile dundee-tastic episode of your FY-vrit shoi about Ancient Astronaut Theory! Steve and Joey were just as surprised as you just were reading the first sentence of this paragraph that this episode is 100% Australian...all the time. Do the aboriginal peoples of Australia actually hold the record for the oldest continuous culture in the world...and therefore the earliest humans to interact with ancient aliens? Are the Rainbow Serpent, Bayama, and other sky beings that aborigines classically worshipped simply misunderstood star-beings that came to the Outback from another world through stargates? Did ancient Egyptians visit Australia in the ancient past, shipwrecked, stranded and prone to carving hieroglyphics onto Aussie walls? What does any of this have to do with ancient aliens other than like two examples of deities? Steve and Joey don’t know, but our plucky ancient astronaut theorists sure think they do! Let’s prooooooooooobe into The Wisdom Keepers!

The Cosmic Egg is seen in religions, mythic artwork, stone carvings and buried in the ground since time immemorial. This divine symbol of birth and rebirth has permeated our minds so much so that it’s depictions are more numerous than even the Christian cross or the Jewish star of David - so the question is...why? How did ancient man seem to understand that this singular point of all life, matter, and consciousness exploded the universe into existence - aka the modern day “big bang” theory? Were they told by extraterrestrials? Is this knowledge encoded into DNA by our ancient alien creators? How do egg shaped UFO’s fit into the universal shape that is the Egg? We don’t know - but our plucky ancient astronaut theorists sure think they do! Let’s prooooooooooobe into Decoding the Cosmic Egg!

Tsoukalos, Childress, Wilcock and the gang recap a recap of a rehashed episode for like the 5th time - talking about mathematicians like Ramanajan, Turing and other geniuses like "Steven Jobs" (as Childress says) who, of course, MUST have gotten ALL their inspiration from extraterrestrials as it's impossible to think of any sort of technological advancement without alien intervention. Let's prooooooooooooooobe into The Visionaries!

A very special treat for y'all this week - a peek into our Patreon content since Steve is out of town this week. This one is a treat! Our recent review discussion of David Wilcock's newest...uh..."documentary," The Cosmic Secret!

Ol' Five Heads at Freddies has a brand new movie - which he might refer to as a 'documentary - and boy is it a doozy! Over 2 hours of pure, dripping, greasy Wilcock Drips with plenty of his odd "insider" partner Corey Goode's own greasy 80s mafia movie hair-do thrown in for flavor. This movie is basically the book "The Secret" but with Wilcock and Goode's own overly-specific "facts" to support why we should all follow the ever-growing Cult of Wilcock's mission to evolve human consciousness and spirituality.

Tsoukalos, Childress, Wilcock and the gang make us think that they’re going to talk about “dat New-New” when it comes to HARD evidence for Ancient Alien visitation in the remote past...but they really just talk about ground penetrating radar and satellite imagery having the ability to look underground without busting open pyramid walls and stuff...which they’ve talked about before. They also wheel Von Daniken out to re-up your subscription to “This is What Ancient Astronaut Theory Is” Weekly, with no new information of any kind from the grand daddy of it all. Let’s prooooooooooooooobe into The New Evidence!

Are aliens secretly behind the trans-humanist movement? Are extraterrestrials influencing humanity to reach the cybernetic singularity so that we can be better prepared for long term space travel and meet our ET creators? Do ancient religious texts speak of Nootropics, nanomachines, genetically modified embryos, and immortality-inducing technology? What would happen if you had robot butt cheeks implanted and you're sitting experience was enhanced 10 times the average human amount of ass-sitting pleasure? Steve and Joey don't know, but our plucky ancient astronaut theorists sure think they do! Let's proooooooooobe into The Next Humans!.

Our earthlings actually the descendants of ancient Martians? Are the angels described in religious texts simply humanoid Mars citizens whose bodies reflect life in a low gravity environment? Is human architecture the same as the artificial structures portrayed by the Mars Rover because we are, in fact, the children of a refugee Martian race? How would we effectively colonize and terraform Mars so that humanity would have a second outpost in case Earth is devastated by famine, war, or asteroid blast? Steve and Joey don’t know, but our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists sure think they do! Let’s prooooooooooooobe into Destination Mars!

Is the continent of Antarctica hiding pyramids from an advanced ancient race of humans...or...earthbound extraterrestrials? Why did the Nazi’s, the US Military, the NSA and 7 different countries all desperately try to claim the unexplored tundra of Antarctica so desperately for the past 70 years? Was Antarctica actually part of a once temperate climate zone as depicted on the Arontus Phineas map? Was the lost city of Atlantis and the Egyptian “Island of the Egg” actually a warm and habitable ancient version of Antarctica? Steve and Joey don’t know, but our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists sure think they do! Let’s prooooooooooooooooobe into Pyramids of Antarctica!

The big numero 10-oh season finale is here, and it's...koind of a bummer! Our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists explore why ancient archaeological antiquities are being destroyed by our fellow men all over the world in barbaric cultural / political wars. Destroying a culture's history, sadly, is nothing knew, but we can rest assured that Tsouks, Childress, Noory and the gang are equally as bummed that ancient artifacts are being busted up beyond repair...because they'll have less pieces of the Ancient Astronaut Theory puzzle to play with! The really have their priorities straight. Let's prooooooooooobe into The Forbidden Zones!

Are aliens waging a brutal, invisible war over our heads this very second? Are humans the offspring of the “winners” of an ancient alien war thousands of years ago? Did the Annunaki destroy their home planet, Nebiru, before ever reaching the ancient Sumerians to be worshiped by gods..and now our asteroid belt is all that’s left of the Annunaki homeworld? Do alien races see us as a threat now that we have nuclear capabilities? Steve and Joey don’t know, but our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists sure think they do! Let’s prooooooooooooobe into The Alien Wars!