Probing Ancient Aliens

Have ancient aliens been leaving us messages in petroglyphs, crop circles, architecture...and even our own DNA? What are they trying to tell us? I don’t have much to write because this episode of Ancient Aliens doesn’t have much to say - but you better believe our plucky ancient astronaut theorist THINK they have a lot to say...and Joey and Steve take every opportunity to pick it apart and point out the wet, dripping logic flaws in their hypotheses. Let’s prooooooooooooooobe into Alien Messages!

NOTE the Ep number change! We're still going in order of the show but we're trying to get back to the canonical episode order.

Did ancient aliens cause the great flood that ravaged so many cultures thousands of years ago? Is the Book of Enoch and the dead sea scrolls the true key to unlock our understanding of the alien rebellion of the original fallen angels that mated with human women, in turn creating the Nephilim that, in turn created genetic abominations that were against the will of their alien brethren, in turn causing an extraterrestrial civil war that, in turn, caused the alien winners of that war to FLOOD THE WHOLE WORLD?! Also...Noah was an alien, right? Steve and Joey don’t know, but our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists definitely do...and they’re gettin’ REAL wet probing into The Great Flood!

Did Ancient Aliens teach primitive humans the power to resurrect themselves through mummification and zombiefication? Did Jesus body get transformed by astral forms of Jeremiah and Moses so it would resurrect into a physical manifestation with inter dimensional travel capabilities? Are near death experiences actually our quantum consciousness interacting with other beings that have transcended the physical realm and into the worlds of “spooky science at a distance” according to Einstein? Is this episode of Ancient Aliens extremely similar to literally the last episode about mummies? Steve and Joey aren’t sure about everything else before that last sentence, but you better believe there’s some lazy editing and repetitive content on the part of Prometheus Entertainment and their editors. Let’s proooooooooooooooooooobe into Alien Resurrections!

Did ancient aliens, posing as Egyptian gods, teach humanity the science of mummification in order to preserve human DNA? Did primitive people who were abducted aboard alien craft simply witness humanoid beings waking up in suspended animation pods and mistake this for “resurrection?” What about non-Egyptian mummies, like those of Peru, Russia and even Western Europe - were they all part of a global cultural shift brought on by ancient extraterrestrial bird-men who were later diefied in the form of Thoth and the Annunaki? Steve and Joey have no clue, but our plucky ancient astronaut theorists sure think they do! Let’s proooooooooooooooooobe into Secrets of the Mummies!

What is the true nature of the world’s geniuses? Are their minds simply more highly evolved than others, or do they have some deeper connection to a higher level of consciousness? Is this “universal mind” actually an extraterrestrial cloud-based accumulation of knowledge that they can tap into while others can’t? Is there an ancient alien agenda where we’ve been guided from our primitive primate selves to the tech-savvy sapiens we are today...all so we can...be like them? We don’t know - but our plucky ancient astronaut theorists sure as hell think they do! Let’s prooooooooooooooooooooooobe into The Genius Factor!

Are aliens watching our every move through our cell phones, computers, and other cloud-based devices? Have ancient extraterrestrials been guiding us on this technological journey simply to make it easier for them to have us under 24/7 surveillance? Was it Edward Snowden who truly broke open the Illuminati / Alien agenda in his famous 2013 leak? Who are The Watchers and how are they related to the angels in the Book of Enoch, the Islamic Jinn, the Sumerian Annunaki, and the Ant People of the Hopi? Steve and Joey sure don’t know, but our plucky ancient astronaut theorists sure as heck-fire think they do! Let’s proooooooooooooooooooobe into Aliens Among Us!

Was Edgar Cayce’s prediction about the Atlantean Hall of Records being hidden under the Sphynx’s paw true? What secrets lie within the great limestone statue itself? Was the Sphynx’s tiny head once the larger head of a lion or Anubis, the Egyptian Jackal god? Is there a second Sphynx buried to the west of the great pyramids of Giza, as pictured on the Dream Stila? What of the greatest mystery of all: around the back of the Sphynx...archaeologist have never found the most elusive of holes: the Sphynx-ter. Steve, Joey and our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists go DEEP into the hidden knowledge of that most ancient wonder of the world in this ep: let’s proooooooooooooobe into the Mysteries of the Sphynx!

PATREON PEEK: Adventurous Ghosts - Houton Mansion by Probing Ancient Aliens

Our plucky ancient astronaut theorists try tell us why caves are magical and why aliens and Jesus and Zeus all hang out there! It’s self-evident that I can’t even write into quippy shit with questions that can’t be answered by just saying “caves were the original shelter.” Let’s prooooooooooooooooooooobe into Aliens and Forbidden Caves!

Are superheroes simply symbolic off-spring of ancient aliens coming to the Earth as gods, helping primitive man to fight against the evil forces of the galaxy? Is the kabla (aka Illuminati) actually responsible for “turning off” our X-Men like genetic markers for super powers so that we remain weak, suppressed, and dependent on technology THEY control? Are Batman and Iron Man actually the true realization of ancient extraterrestrials who used advanced technology to seem divine...but were simply using highly evolved tech? Steve and Joey don’t know...but our plucky Ancient Astronaut Researchers sure as heck seem to! They even got Stan Lee to comment during this episode - does he make us TRUE BELIEVERS in super powered ET’s?!!! Let’s prooooooooooooooooooooobe into Aliens & Superheroes!