Probing Ancient Aliens

Are Angels and Demons (aka ALIENS!) so turned on by earthbound humans that they’ve been hybridizing the living hell out of us for centuries? Why are aliens having sex and probing genetic material to make their own race of what were once known as “demi-gods” to ancient man? What about reports of hybrids coming down to have sex with humans the old fashion way? Are these alien sexual encounters and abductions simply misunderstood night terrors or sleep paralysis? Is the secret alien agenda to hybridize our entire planet...or are humans already the alien hybrids? We don’t know, but our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists sure do know a lot about this whole alien sexual agenda conspiracy stuff! Let’s prooooooooooooobe into alien breeders babies...babyyyyyy!

How about a free BONUS podcast probers and probettes: CLOSET KNOWLEDGE?! It's our new topical podcast where we come out of the knowledge closet with something obscure that we're both into, want to learn about each other, or want to learn from a guest! Today's episode is all about one of our favorite sports/hobbies: Disc Golf aka "frisbee golf." And calm your little pink socks - Probing Ancient Alien is posting at the normal time this week, this isn't replacing the main content :-)

Our Patreon subscribers got this last week, but we wanted to test the waters with how you guys liked different content from us - let us know what you think in the comments on your favorite podcast service! And for more exclusive episodes, subscribe to patreon.com/probingancientaliens where you'll get at least 2 exclusive shows per month for only $5 Space Bucks!

Are the insects of the world actually genetically modified organisms used by aliens to altar our DNA and shape our evolution? Do insectoid races of aliens exist, and did they travel to ancient Egyptians and the Zuni native Americans beetle and ant like star-beings? Are the insect plagues of the Holy Bible examples of advanced weaponry merely made in the shape of indigenous bugs to destroy the Egyptians holding the Israelite people in bondage? Is the American government secretly building similar devices to spy on, and conspire against, their enemies? We don’t know, but our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists sure are a-BUZZ about bugs this week! Ants, praying mantises, hornets, bees and especially DUNG beetles are discussed and compared and theorized about being somehow, some way related to ancient E.T.’s and Steve and Joey are their to prolapse the thorax of this so-called “evidence,” when exoskeletal segment at a time. Let’s prooooooooooooooooobe into the brothy insides of Aliens & Insects!

Are Shamans real? Do medicine men and witch doctors enter higher states of consciousness to talk to spirits aka ancient alien gods or interdimensional star-beings? How do shamans know exactly the right combination of poisonous plants to create psychedelic cocktails or magical healing properties? Can any human put themselves into a trance-like state by simply meditating with a drum or a rattle? Did the painful rituals shaman’s went through to get their powers mirror the experiences of modern UFO abductees? Did shamans see ancient animal-men in their visions that were actually the Egyptian god Thoth or the Sumerian Annunaki? We don’t know, but our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists sure think they do!!! Let’s proooooooooooooooooobe into the inner dimensions of...the shamans!

Mars...is it truly more than just a Bar or a where Marvin is from? Why did virtually every culture throughout history have a healthy respect or fear of this fiery red ball in the sky? Was Mars actually an advanced culture not unlike our own millions of years ago before getting destroyed by a gigantic asteroid? What about the famous face and pyramid of Mars - is the lack of evidence surrounding these structures a massive government cover-up with cooperation by NASA? We don’t know, but our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists did everyone a solid this episode and ACTUALLY BROUGHT ON EXPERTS AND PRIMARY SOURCES TO SUPPORT SOME OF THEIR EVIDENCE! What a concept! Let’s prooooooooooooooooooooobe into the red planet everyone knows and loves - Mars!

Did ancient extraterrestrial gods need human beings to mine gold for their atmosphere and spacecraft? Did King Solomon really have a ring that could control demons and a worm that could cut thick stone for his temple? Is there really a cursed door in a Vedic temple in India that brings death and illness to anyone that attempts to access the treasure inside? Are Aztec, Greek, and other treasures around the world...y’know...cool alien things? We don’t know, but our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists sure do...right? Where are the aliens? Why does the History Channel refuse to SHOW any of the damn treasures during the episode?! But hey, Ancient Aliens is consistent in its inability to seize evidence sharing opportunities that would actually help their cause. Let’s proooooooooooooooobe into Treasures of the Gods!

Are you child-prodigies actually half-human, half-extraterrestrial hybrids who are the next step in human evolution? How is it possible that selct kids throughout the world have genius level intelligence and an awareness of information most adults never learn over their life time? Are governments holding secret research programs for star-children to test their psychic and telekenetic abilities? Are the demi-gods of Greek Mythology the first documented cases for Star Children? And what of the so called "black eyed children" who seem to be the antithesis to the benevolant and future-shaping Starseed kids? Are they actually demons in disguise...or perhaps the progeny of the "evil" alien races who are hell-bent on undoing the work of our nurturing galactic daddies and mommies? Steve and Joey sure as heck don't know, especially after watching this episode of the History Channel's Ancient Aliens!!! But they do see LOTS of messed up skulls, creepy eyeball CG as well as more sad #MintChipMoments from Joey's childhood. Let's prooooooooobe into...well even we can't finish that sentence.

Have ancient aliens been visiting America for thousands of years? Do Native Americans have a deeper connection with biological extraterrestrials than we give them credit for? Did Star Beings literally birth indigenous Americans before Europeans even settled there? Was there a secret Egyptian cave in the Grand Canyon that the Smithsonian covered up and prevented the American public from ever learning the truth? We don’t know...but our plucky ancient astronaut theorists sure do! We got homegrown beef gettin’ mutilated! We got 14,000 year old petroglyphs in dry lake beds! We got Air Force bases gettin’ their nukes shut down! Why?! Because that’s how ya do it! If you’re an alien that is…Let’s prooooooooooooooooooooobe into American aliens!

Are wormholes real? Is the Einstein-Rosen Bridge actually possible to create and travel through? Have ancient aliens been using stargates to cover trillions of miles instantaneously...only to check in on ancient man and give him the most mediocre of technology like how to move around stone blocks? Does William Henry truly earn his title as Medallion Man this episode, or is he outdone by David Wilcock's pondering of space and the divine? Are stargates really just leather tubes in the intestinal track of the universe...transferring matter out of entrances and exits with only the energy of a condensed planet like Jupiter to give it the grunt and shove it needs to do it's doody...um...duty? I'm sure our plucky Ancient Astronaut Researchers know the answer! Or maybe they talk about the Bermuda Triangle again and other stuff that's been disproved as paranormal or even mildly interesting. Let's prooooooooooooooooooobe into those dark space holes known as...stargates.

Do aliens live in underground mountain bases around the world? Were sacred mountains actually a doorway to the next realm? Did ancient people actually commune with extraterrestrial gods on mountain tops? Why would globe spanning cultures create massive temple complexes on precarious mountain tops? Steve and Joey have no clue, so they’ve turned to our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists who are sure to have real proof that Olympus, Shasta, Fuji, and the rest are aaaaaaaaall alien landing zones and shit! Let’s proooooooooooooooooooooobe into these mysterious mountain sides for ROCK...HARD...FACTS.