[CONTENT WARNING: this movie is essentially about a sex trafficking ring for children. Also some discussion about abortion subplots and racism against Italians.]

Nadia and Tony take off their pants and dance around to one of the defining comedies of the 1980s, which as it turns out is unbelievably dark and incoherent. Tony says he’s going to limit himself to one Scientology joke and ends up making like twenty. Nadia reads selections from Curtis Armstrong’s memoir detailing teenage Tom Cruise’s late-night Bible Study sessions. Our theme music is “The Beauty of Breathing” by Jeff Rosenstock, distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 license, and available at quoteunquoterecords.com. Today’s outro music is Phil Collins’ “Coming in the Air Tonight” as covered by Greg Farr.

Tony and Nadia celebrate July 4th with a lighthearted Kevin Kline romcom about a soft coup of the United States government - and it’s a movie that’s actually pretty good, so this time it’s actually the real world that has aged poorly. We also decide which celebrities we’re most disappointed in for doing the “I Take Responsibility” video, and learn which 2016 presidential candidate listed Dave as his favorite fictional president (it’s not who you think). Our theme music is “The Beauty of Breathing” by Jeff Rosenstock, distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 license, and available at quoteunquoterecords.com. Today’s outro music is SWV’s “Weak” as covered by Rica Capablanca.

Tony and Nadia discuss what quarantine has done to comedy today, through the lens of ventriloquist Jeff Dunham’s impromptu YouTube streams and the recent revelation of his newest puppet. Tony continues his ongoing obsessive quest to understand how Dunham became one of the most successful comedians of all time, while Nadia unlocks his childhood experience that led to his fascination with puppets. The Jeff Dunham Reddit AMA from March 7th is examined as the final artifact of the Before Times. Our theme music is “The Beauty of Breathing” by Jeff Rosenstock, distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 license, and available at quoteunquoterecords.com. Today’s outro music is Justin Timberlake’s “Can’t Stop the Feeling” as covered by Tomoki Sato.

Nadia and Tony watch the longest, dumbest, whitest romcom of 2009, and read the stupid dating advice book that it was based on. When Tony refers to Ginnifer Goodwin as "the second hottest wife on Big Love", he means "after Chloe Sevigny". Nadia shares actually good dating advice. Our theme music is “The Beauty of Breathing” by Jeff Rosenstock, distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 license, and available at quoteunquoterecords.com. Today’s outro music is Maroon 5’s “Sunday Morning” as covered by Xena Aquila.

Now that the National Guard are no longer occupying Nadia's street, the gang returns to celebrate Pride Month and spot the parallels between the queer liberation movement and this unique moment in history. Most importantly, though, we watch Kevin Smith's weird 1997 romcom where Ben Affleck is a comic book writer who speaks in three-page monologues and convinces a "cool girl" lesbian to fall in love with him, which is actually a pretty good movie until it very abruptly stops being a pretty good movie. Our theme music is “The Beauty of Breathing” by Jeff Rosenstock, distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 license, and available at quoteunquoterecords.com. Today’s outro music is The Mighty Might Bosstones’ “The Impression That I Get” as covered by TheSillyDave.

Nadia and Tony return from the standard eighteen-month Podcast Hiatus to discuss WHAT MEN WANT, the 2019 gender-flipped, race-flipped, ratings-flipped remake of their first-ever selection. We discuss our ongoing grudge against director Adam Shankman, the terrible riffs that ended up making the film, the surprise appearance by Erykah Badu, and the worst cum joke ever written.

Our theme music is “The Beauty of Breathing” by Jeff Rosenstock, distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 license, and available at quoteunquoterecords.com. Today’s outro music is Erykah Badu’s “Didn’t Cha Know” as covered by Joshua Juan.

The heartwarming holiday story of a boy who dreams of getting a gun and murdering strangers, 1983’s A CHRISTMAS STORY will be on cable for 24 straight hours this Christmas, as it has been since 1997, much to the chagrin of Tony and Nadia. The hosts discuss the baffling legacy of this film in American pop culture, endure the waves of misery throughout the script, and reminisce about other, much better Christmas movies. There's one line where Ralph's bully yells “HEY WHEN I TELL YOU TO COME, YOU BETTER COME!” and don't worry Tony caught it.

[CONTENT WARNING: discussion of one instance of kidnapping and sexual assault]

Nadia and Tony watch the crossover romcom and Bollywood homage Bride and Prejudice, starring the single most famous woman in India (Aishwarya Rai), and featuring the greatest character in any film they have ever watched (Kohli Saab). Tony only confuses two of the Indian actors once during the episode, which is honestly better than he thought he’d do. The hosts discontinue the “Let’s Do Reviews” segment, and introduce a new segment called “Let’s Do Horny Reviews”, where they only read reviews by men who were extremely horny for Aishwarya Rai in 2005.

[CONTENT WARNING: discussion of one instance of kidnapping and sexual assault]

Nadia and Tony watch the crossover romcom and Bollywood homage Bride and Prejudice, starring the single most famous woman in India (Aishwarya Rai), and featuring the greatest character in any film they have ever watched (Kohli Saab). Tony only confuses two of the Indian actors once during the episode, which is honestly better than he thought he’d do. The hosts discontinue the “Let’s Do Reviews” segment, and introduce a new segment called “Let’s Do Horny Reviews”, where they only read reviews by men who were extremely horny for Aishwarya Rai in 2005.

Michelle Johnson (@icfasntw) joins Tony and Nadia to discuss Dane Cook’s debut album and runaway success Harmful If Swallowed, and none of them like when the movie Dune is in their chocolatey drink. Remember that line? Oh man. If you don’t, they repeat that one a few times. And some other ones, like “I was in my kitchen, and I was cleaning a dish, and I heard it so I came out.” Honestly, we went into this thinking we were going to hate Dane Cook and it didn’t exactly turn out that way. Nadia also shares inspiration selections from Dane’s Twitter account.