Prosperous Coach Podcast

This episode is dedicated to the brilliant members of Prosperous Coach Club — my Facebook group — full of coaches who support each other to stay inspired and make things happen. Find the show notes for this episode at prosperouscoach.com/105

Here’s the truth … business startup requires deep reserves of patience and endurance. Perhaps more than nearly any other situation in life.

It’s not easy. 

Perseverance, grit, determination, discipline and belief in self – all those life skills that might not be your strengths yet are what you need to build to keep your momentum going.

The only way to get those skills is to master your mindset and habits.

If you do learn to master those things, you will be amazed at what it brings you. Not just income, not just great clients and coaching experiences but the joy of respecting yourself.

Getting your coaching business established and working for you absolutely requires you to believe it WILL happen — even when there’s evidence to the contrary.

That’s right. You have to have faith in your abilities, in the Universe and in your original impulse to become a coach.

Remember … the whole point of faith is that it’s there even in the absence of proof.

Stop the Emotional Roller Coaster About Coaching Business Results
Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s normal and natural to sometimes get impatient, discouraged and maybe even need an afternoon off to stew or just play. But don’t let yourself continuously ride an emotional roller coaster.

You know the high highs followed by low lows I’m talking about? I’m very familiar with them.

I invite you to raise awareness about that emotional roller coaster so you can begin to master your mindset.

At first all you need do is simply witness with compassion what happens inside of you day to day:

Someone responds positively to your newly minted website – you swing high.

Someone else criticizes something on your website – you swing low.

Someone says yes to having a Discovery call – you swing high.

Someone says no to hiring you – you swing low.

Someone talks up an opportunity that will promote you – you swing high.

That same person isn’t responding to your follow up emails to seal the deal – you swing low.

What’s the common denominator here? What the other person says or does is dictating your reaction.

You can stop that by raising your awareness to master your mindset.

Listen, nothing is wrong with you. All new business owners are initiated through patience.

It simply takes time to establish a business. During this seemingly interminable slow time 3 important things are happening:

Read 3 reasons why it takes time to build your coaching business.

This short episode is part of the Smart Mindsets & Habits series. Find the whole podcast series at prosperouscoach.com/mindsets.

As human beings few of us celebrate the small in things in life.

If we’re lucky, growing up, our parents noticed our daily progress — encouragement for sitting up, eating well, for taking a step or being clever with toys.

But at some point a long the way that cheerleading slows down. 

·      Some of us are taught that tooting your own horn is bragging and immature.

·      Others become high achievers and expectations run so high that even big wins don’t get much notice. It’s onto the next goal without a pause.

In any case that sense of personal pride shuts down.

The sad thing is that often means we don’t celebrate other people’s small wins either. All this means there’s less celebration in life, less joy, less encouragement.

Lack of Celebration May Stunt Your Coaching Business Success

I myself have been a late bloomer celebrating wins of adulthood except within my inner circle. Looking back I can see how that’s stunted my coaching business growth.

In the last decade I’ve gradually realized how that kept me small in spirit. I’ve started a practice to throw my arms up in the air and gleefully shout “Yay!” not only for my own small wins but also even for the wins of people I’ve never met.

For me, there’s an idea underpinning this, which is that, from a spiritual perspective, I believe we are all one.

Though we are all individuals, collective energy circulates. We can all feel that if we tap in.

Even if you don’t buy into this idea, you can experience a dramatic shift if you begin to celebrate all wins.

·      Your personal wins — no matter how small.

·      Other people’s wins — no matter how small.

When I began doing this, I noticed my heart lift. I noticed more joy in my life. Things flowed more easily. 

For one thing celebrating creates dopamine, a brain chemical that literally feels good. For another, celebration is infectious and circulates good will. We need more of that in our world. Especially right now.

One of the places in my life where wins are celebrated every day is in the podcast groups I’m a member of on Facebook. I’ve shared before what big open hearts podcasters have.

Strangely, I have not always seen the same camaraderie or spirit of celebration in groups of coaches. Although my own Facebook group – Prosperous Coach Club – is gaining momentum here of late and it does my heart good to see it.

Wouldn’t you think of all people that coaches would be celebrators? Not just of our clients but of humanity in general?

Something happens sometimes to some coaches that quashes celebration — it’s a fierce sense of competition colored by comparison that’s so debilitating. I did an episode a while ago about this which you can find at prosperouscoach.com/80.

It need not be this way.

The other day I was talking to a brilliant client of mine. This coach was one week into her newly launched podcast and she said she had 10 downloads so far. I was excited for her. But she said she was upset hearing that another podcaster had 10,000 downloads.

Comparing Yourself to Others is Toxic

Read here for more about how to stop comparing yourself to others.

This episode is part of the Smart Mindsets & Habits series. Find the whole podcast series at prosperouscoach.com/mindsets

I wanted to let you know that my last episode had record listens. I was sharing how there’s one thing you must have going for you to be successful in your coaching business. It’s worth a listen because it’s likely not at all what you think. Check it out at prosperouscoach.com/102 or find it on any podcast app as episode 102.

Many coaches worry that they need expertise to be successful as a coach. Well … do you need expertise?

I say no. 

But if you cultivate expertise you will gain credibility and find many ways to serve others with it.

 Experience is the Primer for Expertise As a Coach

Sometimes I’ll talk to a coach who has decided to focus on a target audience and niche because they think that’s where the money is.

For example a coach who has never been in corporate decides to become a corporate coach. Or a coach who has never had any business experience deciding to be a business coach. 

While it may be true that there can be increased income potential in corporate or business coaching, the competition is fierce. And without a background – some experience in those worlds – targeting them would be fruitless.

You’ll notice, in those particular circumstances it’s not expertise they need so much as experience.

When I help coaches choose their target audience and develop their niche I do look for and encourage them to leverage their unique experience, knowledge and wisdom. 

It doesn’t have to be career experience by the way. It can be life experience.

In those cases it can be the foundation for a natural audience and coaching niche solution.

Are You Second Guessing Your Experience?

But sometimes, even with vast experience, a coach won’t fully perceive and believe in the value of their own experience. They second-guess it. 

Or they find holes in their knowledge that they think disqualifies them off hand to work with an audience.

I don’t see it that way. I know the power of story. And I know that if you’ve experienced what it’s like to be your target audience – even if you’re not there now – it brings you credibility.

So consider thinking of experience as the primer for expertise. 

Gain Expertise in Days

I think a lot of people have an old fashioned concept of expertise. There’s that apprentice idea that you have to follow the master around and learn everything they know before you can go out on your own.

But we live in modern times where knowledge and experience are at our fingertips. 

I have a fluid concept of expertise. And I invite you to consider adapting it. 

To me, expertise is when you’ve applied focus and awareness on a particular problem and you’ve solved it for yourself or at least begun to solve it for yourself.

Focus + Awareness are powerful ingredients to quickly build expertise ...

Read more about how to gain expertise quickly.

This episode is short and may surprise you. Find the show notes at prosperouscoach.com/102.

A quick shout out to Reggie Scott . . . Thank you Reggie for your review in the Apple Podcast app. Reggie said: “I can binge listen. With her episodes being so short, sweet and to the point I get so much insight within 30 minutes. Thank you Rhonda for being kind with your listeners. I always look forward to your next podcast.”

I’m so honored that you binge listen, Reggie! And I appreciate you all for listening. I’m always so happy to share with you.

Okay let’s get to this little gem. I hope it’s an AHA for you.

Because I’ve been working with coaches to build their businesses for so many years I notice patterns. And I’m going to share something with you that sometimes gets me down a bit …

About 1 in 5 of my clients don’t make it in coaching. I know that is also the statistic in all types of entrepreneurial businesses. But it still shocks me a bit. 

These heart full coaches go through all the effort and expense to get certification and then to work with me to put their entire business model and foundation together. Then when the program ends they don’t launch. 

I search myself asking if there was something I could have done better. And of course wisdom tells me that a coach’s success is not up to me. That old saying “You can lead a horse to water … “

I’m even more surprised at the specific coaches that don’t launch because from where I sit they have everything it takes to be wildly successful in their business. I believe in them with all my heart. They are talented and everything we created together was intelligent and strategic.

In retrospect, I see that they were missing something that is so critical for success in a new business.

They were not hungry enough. The drive wasn’t strong enough to make the leap across the threshold.

Read more about why you need to be hungry to succeed in your coaching business.

This episode was inspired by a recent conversation. Find the full transcript for this episode at prosperouscoach.com/101.

I’ve never met a coach who loves the idea of marketing. And most coaches tell me they hate the idea of selling. And that’s why it always surprises me when I see coach’s websites, emails and social posts worded in a salesy way.

I made up that word. Salesy is when you make your marketing about you and what you do instead of your target audience and what they want. Salesy is about pushing and convincing prospects to buy your program way before trust and connection are established.

For example, imagine …

·      a coach’s website whose brand, domain and messaging is mostly about them and the wonders of coaching. That’s salesy.

·      or social posts that spout the tenets of coaching. That’s salesy.

·      or a lead magnet — also called a free offer or freebie — that delivers a bit of coaching guidance about limiting beliefs, balance or imposter syndrome — addressed to no one in particular.

These approaches shout “hire me for coaching” but coaching isn’t something most people know they want.

Listen, I did ALL of these salesy things when I started as a coach, so I totally get why coaches do this. None of us knew any better. 

No One Likes to Be Sold

So then how will you convince people to hire you without selling coaching? First, let’s shift that to a more powerful question: 

How can you EARN the attention of IDEALclients and INSPIRE them to hire you WITHOUT selling coaching?

Let’s break this down. I ask the question this new way for 3 main reasons:

1.     Earning attention comes way before asking for the sale.

In our fast and full marketplace with so many marketing messages flying at everyone, earning attention is a true art. Before you throw out social posts or throw up a website develop a smart strategy.

Attention is earned when you show up consistently focused on what’s most important to your target audience. Speak their language. Build trust and connections. The word ‘coaching’ or ‘coach’ is not present at all in that effort.

2.     It’s better for you and your prospects if you DO NOT TRY TO CONVINCE them to hire you.

Think about a time when someone tried to convince you of something. How did that feel? If someone tries to convince me of something I am turned off and will quickly get excuse myself. If I’m online I’m bouncing away so fast it will make your head spin!

Convincing someone is to try to hard sell them. It’s the stereotypical car salesman joke – relentless high pressure. Human beings are wary of pressure. Inside them the walls go up. 

As a coach you want to run your business with integrity. You want to feel good about what you do 100% of the time. You want to put out positive energy.

So let the pressure off. Let go of any whiff of desperation to enroll a client. Instead SERVE your target audience faithfully. Serve as a form of marketing. That’s called generosity marketing.

Read about generosity marketing -- an authentic way to market.

Today feels special. I’m airing my 100th podcast and celebrating my 2nd year anniversary of podcasting! 

Thanks to you — binge listening and sharing Prosperous Coach Podcast with other coaches — my show has hit 60,000 downloads and listenership is growing fast!

I’m so grateful to you and to the podcasting community, which is filled with some of the kindest, most generous people I’ve met. They genuinely want every podcaster to thrive. And so I have!

And I’m here to tell you that podcasting revolutionized my coaching business. Coaches reach out to me ready to enroll because they already trust me from listening to my podcast.

That’s why I recommend podcasting to my clients. For coaches — who are willing to choose a narrow viable target audience full of seekers and taken the time to research what those people want so much they’ll invest in support to get there — podcasting is a great fit.

Think about it … if you speak directly into the ear of your target audience every week about a top-of-mind issue and how to shift it, can you imagine how that would help you attract serious clients who are ready to hire you.

It’s HUGELY impactful. It builds credibility fast and helps you reach an international audience for your niche.

Of course you have to stand out in the crowd. Podcasting is growing so fast and for every topic and target audience you can think of there’s at least one podcast already out there.

Helping coaches stand out is exactly why I encourage you NOT to sell a certain type of coaching. Instead to target a unique audience with BIG problems they want solved and gear your messaging and offers around that.

So today, as I’m celebrating my own success with your help, I also want to celebrate 5 other coaches who have just leveraged their coaching niches into a podcast. I’m so impressed with every single one of them.

They are all past or current clients in my 5 month VIP Coaching Business Breakthrough program where we started from scratch to develop strategic messaging, offers, web copy and their content strategy – podcasting – all customized for their unique target audience.

As you’re listening to this episode today, notice these 3 things:

1.     How narrow and specific each coach’s target audience is.

2.     How compelling and unique their message is.

3.     And how they are NOT selling coaching (even though they are trained and certified coaches who use coaching to help their audience reach their top goals.)

I recommend you check out their awesome websites and listen to their podcasts, which you can find on their website and also on popular podcast apps.

Then please help them by sharing their podcasts with people you know who fit their audience. Someday someone will do the same for you.

Shawna Warner and Cultivate Resilient Teens

Let’s start with Shawna Warner who just launched her podcast a few weeks ago. In Shawna’s business at Cultivating Resilient Teens.com she helps parents empower their teenage daughters to build confidence, integrity and resilience for all of life’s adventures.

I wish I’d had Shawna’s help when I was a teenager!

Shawna has a Masters in clinical social work and was a social work intern in schools. That and her personal experience raising a teenage daughter who has thrived into an awesome young adult are reasons she chose her audience and niche.

Read more about 5 coaches and their podcasts here.

This episode is short and part of the series called Smart & Profitable Coaching Niches. If you’re new to this podcast and struggling to determine a strategic coaching niche, this series is for you. Check out all the episodes in this series at prosperouscoach.com/niche.

There’s something I hear nearly all new coaches say … they say “there’s a real need for that niche” or “that audience really needs help with this”. If I’m their business coach I encourage them to think differently.

Shift from Tracking Needs to Tracking Wants

In the world of attraction, wants are more compelling than needs with few exceptions. So instead of thinking about a person’s or a group’s needs, think instead about their wants – the desire that compel them to action.

All people have needs. And as newly trained coaches we have a heightened sense of this.

But not all people are seekers — people who do invest in their own personal or professional growth. Seekers are people with urgent WANTS. They want something and they are willing to pay well for help to achieve it.

Coaches are seekers. But that’s just an example to help you realize what a seeker is about. I don’t recommend new coaches target other coaches as clients. It’s a much over marketed to audience.

You want an audience that helps you stand out in the crowd of coaches and other people trying to attract attention.

So choosing a niche starts with choosing a viable audience — one that’s full of seekers, is narrow enough to help you stand out and has a BIG problem they WANT to solve.

It may seem like semantics or that I’m splitting hairs but bear with me …

A seeker tends to be social in the sense that they care about people and want to effect positive change in the lives of others. A seeker likes to grow and develop from the inside out. They place a high value on personal evolution – becoming better is some way such as more intelligent, more successful, more aware, more intuitive, more authentic … happier.

Seekers tend to look outside themselves for teachers, helpers, support systems and guides to what they WANT. That’s you. You could be their support system on the way to what they most want.

So if you think – “Aha, there’s a need. I could fill that need!” You may be leading yourself astray. Because needs often run in the background and don’t drive a person to seek.

It’s the big desires that drive a person to seek and invest.

I’m not sure who said this but you may have heard it and it applies:

Sell them what they want and give them what they need.

For more about this subject click here.

This is part of the series about Managing Coaching Clients. Find the show notes for this episode at prosperouscoach.com/98 and the whole series at prosperouscoach.com/manage.

This subject isn’t talked about much in the coaching world. But it is a real thing. I decided to be brave and broach the subject with you because I know, as a new-ish coach, you’ll appreciate the straight talk.

What I’ve discovered having conversations with therapists, lawyers and other coaches is that all professionals that serve people in a fairly intimate way, especially one to one, are likely to have difficulty with some clients.

I’m talking about the kind of difficulty that can ruin your day and raise dread for future conversations if you let it.

I’ve had my share of upsetting coaching sessions and coaching relationships over 20 years as a coach. I’ve flubbed up so many times, was inarticulate and cloddy in my attempt to clear the air.

Some situations have resulted in significantly improved — even excellent relationships. And some have ended the coaching relationship altogether.

You might be surprised that sometimes the best thing to do is part ways, hopefully respectfully.

Over time, as I’ve enrolled clients into longer term VIP and higher ticket programs, there’s been an increasing need to attract clients who are the right fit. I put a fair amount of energy into assessing fit.

And, I’ve made errors in judgment. What I mean is that I thought I’m a good fit for them and they are a good fit for me but I was wrong. This is a delicate balance because coaching or mentoring is an honored role and trust must go both ways for it to work well.

In the past, some of my clients have put me on a pedestal – not something I want or encourage. Perhaps it’s because I have a podcast and speak authoritatively or because I have decades of expertise and I’m helping coaches to launch their own business … there can be a perceived power differential. I did an episode about this which you can find at prosperouscoach.com/89

I prefer a collaborative relationship. More and more I verbally encourage my clients to self-advocate and to give feedback throughout our professional relationship.

I’m a highly sensitive person so if I let it, a difficult client relationship can literally make me sick. My body is a sensitive instrument that alerts me quickly if energy is off. So, true to my teacher archetype I’ve been studying this challenge and creating a process for myself.

I hope it will be helpful to you or that it sparks your own creation of a process you can rely on.

Avoid Labeling and Instead Reflect

So first, it’s best NOT to think of any human being as DIFFICULT. That or any label will bias your experience with the individual and inadvertently give you permission to turn off self-awareness.

Every coach knows this … it takes two to tango. There are two personalities in the room and each brings their communication weaknesses and crystalized beliefs, which are unhelpful.

Every coach knows this too … the only person you can change is yourself. So that’s your locus of control. 

As soon as you realize something is off between you and your client, reflect on your own beliefs and behaviors first.

What is YOUR part in the difficulty?

4 Steps to a Clean Perspective About Your Coaching Relationship

#1 Separate facts from interpretation

Learn more about how to handle difficult clients.

This episode is super short and it’s part of the series called Manage Your Coaching Clients, which you can find at prosperouscoach.com/manage.

As a new coach, it can be unnerving if a client displays strong emotions.

Anger, frustration, guilt, grief, sorrow, intense excitement — they are all natural feelings that usually move on when a person can express them. 

They don’t define your client or their future and rarely indicate that something is wrong. 

And here’s the thing … even if something seems “wrong”, it’s not up to you to make it all better.

Don’t Take On Your Coaching Client’s Feelings

Deep and even dark feelings can herald the beginnings of transformation. 

When your client feels deep feelings during a session try this:

1.    Hold space for them metaphorically to fully express their emotions.

2.    Don’t TAKE ON their feelings. If you notice that your body or emotions are affected do your best to release the energy while in session and then also after the session.

3.    Verbally share that this is a safe space for their feelings.

4.    Sense when the energy is shifting and check in with them.

Always validate your client’s feelings even if they make you uncomfortable or the feelings seem to be about you.

In another episode I’ll talk about processing your clients feelings about you. And for now I’ll emphasize that I’m not encouraging you to let client’s verbally abuse you. More on that another time.

Let Coaching Clients Cry If They Need To

Tears can be cleansing and healing in themselves. They can help emotions move out of the body. 

Let your client know that you welcome their tears and consider them a self care practice. Encourage them to take their time.

If through their tears and rants, you continually hold that they are creative, resourceful and whole, they will come through to the other side.

Read more about how to respond to emotional clients in sessions.

This episode is part of the series called Manage Your Coaching Clients. 

I clearly remember a moment in the first few years of my coaching business where I was sharing with my mentor coach some feelings I was having about a client.

Then she asked me a powerful question:

Do you want more for your clients than they want for themselves?

That woke me up! I began to examine my motivations and set healthier boundaries for myself with clients.

Have you ever sensed that you might want too much for your clients?

Most new coaches fall into this trap on some level.

The trick is to let go of your desire to effect change ON your clients. In other words, don’t try to fix them or heal them.

Build up within yourself the belief that your client alone drives their desire and ability to change and grow. They have to want it!

2 More Powerful Questions

You can never know the path of another person.

If you try to anticipate and course correct for your client’s potential mistakes, are you keeping them from valuable experiences that may bring success more quickly?

Or, if you jump in to solve their problems and salve their hurts too vigorously, are you diminishing your clients personal power and inflating yours?

You can only answer this if you stay aware during your sessions and regularly examine your own motivations for what you say and do with your clients.

It comes down to 

The real beauty of coaching is the co-creative relationship. Both coach and client focus collaboratively to draw out and utilize the client’s wisdom toward high payoff actions. 

You, as a coach must trust that your client is creative, resourceful and whole. In other words they are fully capable of taking care of themselves.

But know this … you don’t have to hold back a well-placed and well-worded challenge to your client to shift their mindset or take a more powerful action. That’s excellent coaching! After you do that, let go of attachment.

In fact, I think that having a coaching business and working with clients is a never ending life lesson in letting go of your attachment. It’s a key to happiness!

3 Symptoms and Causes to Watch with Coaching Clients

Let’s explore the symptoms, causes and side effects when we want too much for our coaching clients.

Symptom #1: Over-delivering

Cause: You’re to find solutions for every issue raised, rather than focusing on one coachable moment that will move the client toward a perspective shift and the takeaway stated in their agenda.

Side effect: The client is overwhelmed.

They are overwhelmed by your desire to help them beyond their current level of commitment to help themselves. How are big problems solved? One small integrate-able step at a time. Support your clients to make leaps in their perspective and to make more progress on their own between sessions.

Symptom #2: You feel drained after a session

Cause: 

Read about the other two symptoms, side effects and the solutions here.