Psychedelic Attack Monkey

It's been a few months but the Attack Monkey is still in horrified shock over the election results. Are there really over 70 million Americans who are so ignorant and insane that they chose the overstuffed trust-fund-baby whose only goal in life is to get fatter and richer, over the nice lady that wanted nothing more than to help everybody?

Is there a weird strain of masochists who enjoy getting slapped around by the Orange blob and his cheerleader squad of deranged henchmen? None of it makes any sense to the Monkey as he looks back and tries to find some answers (spoiler alert: there aren't any)

Join the Monkey as he struggles to find any sane reasoning to the madness while merrily pounding the Mad Queen and her enablers straight into hell where they all belong!

The Monkey gets a big laugh out of the bootlickers who try to explain away the Orange Queen's madness like good little Court Jesters who are afraid of getting their heads lopped off if they don't toe the line.

Never mind that both the McKinley and Smoot-Hawley tariff ideas were complete debacles that led to economic meltdown and the Great Depression; the bootlickers are sure there will be a different result this time. Yes, we can all tell by the stock market nosedive that things will be just fine this time around. (Doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different result) = MADNESS!

Join the Attack Monkey as he gleefully skewers these know-nothings and their fealty to the Mad Queen even when they are all smart enough to understand that what she is doing will quickly lead to OUR ECONOMIC RUIN!

The Mad Orange Queen looked down from atop the smoldering ruins of our Liberty and Freedom and ruled by edict that the serfs and peasants are not paying enough taxes. How are the Queen, Elon and their Mar a Lago buddies going to finance their ludicrous lifestyles if the peasants don't tighten their belts and give them all of their hard earned money?

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask, what can I do to help the Orange Queen get richer and richer and fatter and fatter!

Well, many of the peasants showed they actually have a spine, unlike the frightened weasels that populate congress, as they rose up together to protest and pushback against Donnie and Elon and their insane plans to ruin our way of life just because they can.

The protesters made the Attack Monkey very happy but he knows that this is just the beginning. We must keep up the pressure until his weak enablers understand that their job is to work for the People, not for the Queen, or they will be unceremoniously dumped by the side of the road come midterms.

The Orange Queen with her deranged, narcissistic, delusional madness believes that she is smarter than everybody else. It doesn't help that she has surrounded herself with half-witted yes men like the anti-christ Mike Johnson and the victim of vicious, hillbilly incest: JD Vance.

The Queen and her slovenly court quickly disappeared in a blizzard of Black Escalades (the preferred vehicle of the Mexican Cartels) to hobnob with the Saudis at their LIV golf event after sending Cheeto Jesus a few million dollars to her Venmo account for the use of one of her Majesty's Royal Golf Courses that she purchased with dirty Russian money.

The Queen placed massive taxes on the feudal serfs that she believes are powerless to stop her and told them to go eat cake (but save her a piece) or you'll be disappeared into a Louisiana dungeon faster than you can say Habeas Corpus.

Ronald Reagan and Warren Buffet both agree that the Queen's tariffs are a terrible idea that history has proven to be ineffectual and bad for business (but what do they know?) Join the Monkey as he goes off on the unbridled stupidity that was wrought upon us by the non-thinking Magagelicals and the cynical masses who greedily voted for Little Lord Fondleroy thinking they too could loot and steal only to realize that they once again were taken to the cleaners by the Queen of Mar a Lardo. D'oh!

According to super genius JD Vance the cause of all of our economic ills are Chinese peasants? Vance uses his twisted Hillbilly logic to mansplain why we need to throw the global economy into chaos and destabilize the markets that had been humming along quite nicely until JD and his Orange Queen crashed the party.

The Mad Queen announced her tariffs, wiped Trillions of Dollars out of our retirement funds then headed off to play golf while the peasants were left to suffer the consequences of her latest edict.

The Attack Monkey isn't taking any of this lightly as he watches his great country quickly fall into the orange abyss, yet he reminds all of those who still cling to logic and reason that the time is now to fight back against Cheeto Jesus and her GOP enablers. Onward!

The Orange Queen has sent out an edict that the inflation caused by his ineptitude during his first term wasn't nearly enough. The American peasants shall now pay even more for the food and goods they need and if you don't like it and speak up a little too loudly you stand a good chance of being disappeared to an El Salvadorian prison on a military transport plane.

How much stupidity can you stand America? When will trumpists realize that they made a horrible mistake by electing a twisted old man who has no more understanding of how the global economy functions than the Attack Monkey's left testicle?

The Attack Monkey isn't holding his breath that the bootlicking class will figure out how badly they are being screwed by the Orange Queen but he does have hope that the rest of us, who still use reason and logic, will begin to pushback in a way that sends the Queen and her minions running back to her evil castle in the swamps of Florida.

The good people of Florida's 1st and 6th districts had a golden opportunity to stop the Orange Queen and Elon Musk dead in their tracks but instead decided to capitulate like good little indoctrinated zombies. The Monkey rips them a new banana hole with a barrage of insults only a deranged primate could muster

The Attack Monkey was quite pleased with the good people of Wisconsin however, as they sent the Muskrat packing, letting him know that he can take his cheese hat and dirty money and stick them right up his Oligarchy!

Join the Monkey as he lets the confused bootlickers who consistently vote against their own interests have it; they brought it all on themselves.

When the Attack Monkey spells out exactly what the Orange Queen has been up to for the first 100 days of his authoritarian regime it really drives home the insanity of it all.

The Monkey understands that many Americans are masochists that love to be dominated and mistreated, but for those of you who still stand tall and think independently the Monkey salutes you and will fight with you until the insurrectionist in chief is banished from the land!

The Monkey savagely attacks the new Secretary of Commerce for his ludicrous comments regarding OUR social security checks. Howard Lutnick explains that the loudest complainers are the biggest fraudsters. Of course the Wall Street genius failed to realize that the loudest complainer of all is his boss, the Orange Queen, who won't shut up about his fantastical stolen election conspiracies. D'oh!

He also drags Elon Musk into his cage and makes him clean it out with his bare hands for his undemocratic attempt to purchase his own private State Supreme Court in Wisconsin so they will do his evil bidding.

It's only going to get worse folks but the Monkey is going to fight them every inch of the way. Come along, get angry, get mad, and have a laugh at the expense of these idiots while refusing to let them mess with OUR American way of life!

Here's what trump's campaign slogan should have been: Vote for me and I will put people even dumber than I am in positions of great power. Didn't see that one coming did you Maga bootlickers? No, you only thought about trump and forgot that he was going to be putting unqualified kooks into cabinet positions that will be making stupid decisions for the next 4 years affecting all of our lives for the worse. Way to go Maga. Tired of winning yet?

They're all bad but the Attack Monkey has to make a special example of cosplayer Kristi Noem after she went to El Salvador to pose in front of prisoners left to rot in a dungeon to prove the point that she is a tough lady who means business. She is going to be going after college students that dare speak up for what they believe in and anybody that dares to even look at a Tesla funny.

Thanks again trump voters. You've really done it this time!