Psychedelic Attack Monkey

On the old campaign trail the Orange Mad Queen swore up and down on a stack of trump bibles that She had never heard of project 2025. Wasn't that that weird plan authored by a bunch of far right whackos? asked the Orange Queen innocently. But as soon as the Queen stuck her Royal foot back into the Oval Office it was off to the races with Project 2025. Things are happening so fast it's making Kash Patel's headspin.

Crash the economy (check)

Arrest college kids (check)

Go after institutes of higher learning (check)

Gut the Federal Government (check)

Surround yourself with half-witted bootlickers (check check)

Start arresting judges (CHECK)

Yep, today is the day that the Mad Queen had the pretend FBI Director arrest a judge in Wisconsin that refused to bend the knee. Today is a day that will live in infamy amigos, and you were all there to see it, if you're not too busy trying to get all those soccer playing trans kids thrown out of town. Many red lines have already been crossed by the Mad Queen's regime but arresting judges is something they did in 1930's Germany, not in today's America. Right? Somebody... help us.

The Attack Monkey ain't happy and you shouldn't be either America! Judge Hannah Dugan's arrest signifies a very ugly turn of events in an already very ugly chapter of lawless stupidity brought forward by the Mad Queen's hell bent destruction of our Founding Document.

Trumphumpers are everywhere amigos. Hard to throw a banana without knocking one down. The Attack Monkey had a little checkup only to discover that the doc was a proud American trumper right down to his stethoscope. The Attack Monkey is if anything, curious about the brains of the indoctrinated, and therefore began to ask the good doc why he supports the Mad Queen.

It never ceases to boggle the mind of the Attack Monkey how, surprise surprise, it's always these middle-aged white guys with plenty of money in the bank who are the most ardent supporters of the madness. These are the guys who are always telling you about what great businessmen they are (even though most of them inherited their wealth) yet they don't seem to mind when the Orange Queen tanks their investment portfolio as long as he deports their gardeners and the guys that pick their lettuce. If Biden were still President and the markets were tanking these fine gentlemen would be all fired up to attack the Capitol once again, yet as long as it's the Mad Queen it's just fine.

Maybe their just is know explanation for any of this. But the Monkey will keep searching for answers in the hope that we never repeat this nonsense ever again!

We've heard the names of Kilmar Garcia; Mahmoud Khalil; Rumeysa Ozturk; Mohsen Mahdawi among others. All college kids swept away by the trump regime's sinister plot to distract us all while the Mad Queen busily empties the National Coffers in the name of Government efficiency. But why haven't the news agencies been following Harvard Medical Student, Kseniia Petrova, who was unceremoniously dumped in Mike Johnson's Louisiana dungeon because she had some undeclared frog embryos in her luggage? That's right peasants, you heard that right. Kseniia is doing research at Harvard that would benefit all of us but instead of working she is languishing in an ICE dungeon for no good reason. She did speak out about how upset she was that her country of Russia had gone to war against Ukraine. Could that be what made the thin skinned Mad Queen angry? That she dare speak out against his bosom buddy, the murderous thug, Vladimir Putin?

Whatever the reason the Attack Monkey is mad as hell as should all American citizens be that still care about the Constitution and the rule of law. Due process was a very important concept for the Founders but not, so it seems, for the Orange Queen that believes Her hideous head should be carved into Mount Rushmore.

There is no cavalry on the way peasants. It is going to be up to the American People to put an end to this madness. Stay vigilant, keep up the pressure and let the Mad Queen and all of Her henchmen know that we are paying attention and are fed up with this nonsense.

Harvard decided not to capitulate like the peasants at Columbia University and Donald Trump, aka the Mad Queen, isn't having any of it! The Orange Ruler is going after Harvard's tax exempt status because Harvard is lousy with anti-Semite radicals who are just begging for a one-way ticket to El Salvador.

These arrogant college kids that are upset about the ceaseless carnage and ethnic cleansing in Gaza need to learn to hold their tongues! Now, it's not too late to bow down and beg forgiveness Harvard. The Queen is asking you one last time to assume the position and kiss the Royal ring before things go too far. If not, you will soon feel the wrath of Pam Bondi and Kristi Noem when they come at you with their designer clothes and $50,000 watches and scathing threats of immediate deportation on a military transport plane headed straight for hell.

It's that time of year when the Orange Queen must drop her Royal Knickers, turn her Regal Head and cough, while the peasants all get on their bony knees and pray that She is healthy enough to continue her reign of terror against them, I mean, against our allies, I mean against Rosie O'Donnell.

The Queen's Royal Physician walks us through the rigorous exam while being as transparent as Elon Musk about his hair restoration procedures. The peasants will be thrilled to learn that the Queen is the healthiest human being that has ever walked the earth and will continue jailing and deporting dangerous college kids well into the future, bringing peace and stability throughout the land.

The Attack Monkey wishes to thank all of you that voted for donald trump to retake the throne so that we could all pitch in and pay for his golf outings. Well done Maga, well done!

El Salvadoran President Nayib Bukele and Donald Trump, aka, The Mad Orange Queen got together and had a good laugh over how it would just be impossible to release Kilmar Abrego Garcia because Pam Bondi and the wooden puppet Marco Rubio have somehow decided that Kilmar is a terrorist that belongs in a dungeon for the rest of his life. Judges, juries and habeas corpus are for suckers and losers.

The Salvadoran Dictator and the Mad Queen were also in total agreement regarding the National Emergency caused by soccer playing trans kids and that perhaps they should jail them as well? The Queen told Pam Bondi to study up on how they could begin the "legal" deportation of US Citizens, the thought of which brought much glee and laughter to an otherwise very serious meeting of very serious people.

If you are a male, under the age of 45, with a tattoo you'd better sleep with one eye open. You might have an out of control wooden puppet secretary of state bashing in your door in the middle of the night hellbent on deporting your seditious as$ to an El Salvadoran gulag.

Well done trump voters. Well done!

Donald Trump, I mean, The Mad Orange Queen, has once again declared by edict that his concubine, Pam Bondi, must go after the Queen's imagined enemies using the Department of Justice that nasty Joe Biden weaponized. Miles Taylor and Chris Krebs, two horrific traitors that used to work for The Orange Queen's regime, have shockingly spoken up, daring to think independently and voice their own opinions. These two troublemakers must be arrested at once and sent directly to Mike Johnson's dungeon in Louisiana where they will have plenty of time to sit and think about what horrible miscreants they both are.

Listen up peasants: the days of yipping and complaining about the Queen's reign are over. Anyone even thinking bad thoughts about Her Orange Majesty will be detained and quite possibly shipped to El Salvador, regardless of what any arrogant judge has to say about it. The Mad Queen is the law now. That silly little thing you peasants called democracy has been relegated to the Royal Trash Heap of history. Where there was light there is darkness; where there was hope there is anguish; where there was common decency there is a gaseous, orange blob who will stop at nothing as She devours everything in her path, engorging herself on the last crumbs of our Freedom and Liberty...

The Orange Queen came down from her week long coke bender and immediately removed most of the global tariffs once she sobered up and realized what she had done. It was all just a joke everybody: calm down Madagascar, Geez! You peasants need to get a sense of humor.

Look, the Old Queen is going to do some very crazy sh!t over the next 4 years: you idiots all knew that when you decided to put me back in power, so stop making such a big deal out of it. I'm just getting started!

Now, if you're all done with your yipping the Queen needs to get back to designing Her Majesty's next golf course in Gaza. Keep on yipping and you may very well find yourselves in a cross bar motel in El Salvador! Carry on...

Netanyahu is treated like Royalty because, unlike that shameful Zelensky, Bibi knows how to say please and thank you; and he wears a suit. Vice President Hillbilly behaved himself around Bibi without blurting out any insane demands that he get down on his hands and knees and say thank you before a solemn pledge to continue funding his ethnic cleansing campaign (I mean war effort). Zelensky, who is fighting against an actual army made up of Putin's murderous thugs was quickly shown the door while Bibi, who is fighting against unarmed ambulance drivers, was met with smiles, hugs and laughter.

For those of you who voted against Kamala Harris because you were unhappy with events in Gaza you will be pleased to learn that the 2,000 pound bombs and assault rifle deliveries that had been halted by the Biden administration are back on track and headed toward Israel as you read this. Oh, and there has been 6 weeks of absolutely no food, water, electricity or medical supplies allowed into Gaza as well. So well played those of you who thought the Mad Queen would be kinder and gentler to the Gazans than an empathetic woman who had said over and over again that she wanted the hostages home and the misery to end in the strip. Well done America! Soon there will be a golf course and beautiful condominium towers as far as the eye can see in the Palestinian homeland, just as soon as the bulldozers clear off the rubble.

Los Dodgers decided to publicly humiliate themselves by bending the knee and kissing the ring of the Orange Mad Queen. Proving that they really are just a bunch of dumb jocks the boys failed to realize that the Queen will use every smiling, golly-gee handshake photo of themselves with her Majesty as state propaganda to prove her legitimacy not unlike the way Kim Jong Un used the half-witted Dennis Rodman to show the world that he's just a normal guy that loves basketball like everybody else (not a murderous dictator that starves the poor people in his country to death just for fun)

Mookie Betts had enough common sense not to visit the trump white house when he won the title in 2018 but was somehow persuaded to make the trip this time even though the Queen had attempted to sack the Nation's Capitol since his last visit. You guys know you are shaking the hand of an insurrectionist coup plotter right? You know he has taken the side of murderous dictators over our allies right? You know he is plucking college students off the street and disappearing them because he doesn't like their politics right? You know he is busily dismantling the global economy right? You know your fans are going to suffer because of his insane antics right?

But you still had to go and give the Queen a nice photo op with some of the world's most famous athletes because the team owner thought it would be a good idea??? Nice to know you are all a bunch of independent thinking grown men who place your fans (you guys understand that you live in the bluest state in the country right?) ahead of the whims of a demented old adjudicated sexual assaulter who has no more business being in the white house than your team mascot does. Maybe you guys caught one too many bad-hops with your face over the years and can no longer use logic and reason like the rest of us. Or maybe you listened to the trumphumpers on your team and decided that it is a real honor to visit the white house. Usually it is boys, but not when an evil insurrectionist that wants to rule by edict is in residence. Maybe someday you'll all grow up...