Pulled By The Root - Amplifying Adoption Issues

CARLYN MONTES DE OCA is a multi-award-winning author, an international speaker, and passionate animal advocate.

A former film editor on such movies as Honey, I Shrunk the Kids and Three Men and a Little Lady, Carlyn holds a bachelor’s degree from Loyola Marymount University in communication arts and a master’s degree in Traditional Chinese Medicine. 

As a sought after speaker, Carlyn frequently talks on the powerful ways human health, happiness, and longevity are improved through our connection with our animal companions. She has been featured on ABC, CBS, NBC, and Woman's Day Magazine. 

A longtime resident of Northern California, Carlyn now lives in Santa Fe, New Mexico with her husband, Ken Fischer, an award-winning sound editor, and her beloved rescue dog, Grace. Her latest book, a #1 Amazon bestseller and award-winning book, Junkyard Girl: a Memoir of Ancestry, Family Secrets, and Second Chances, is available now.

Click here to send us a text. Also, our book “Pulled By The Root” is available at https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/book

https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

Julia was adopted in September 1963, under the New Zealand closed adoption policy of sealed records. She grew up knowing she was adopted, but was unable to search for her real family until the late 1980s after the law was changed to allow adult adoptees to have access to their original birth certificates. She was able to trace her mother in the United Kingdom; however, to this day, her mother has not wanted a relationship with her. It took a great deal more to locate her father, who was an American citizen of First Nations descent living in North Carolina. She has a large extended family in the USA and has made many trips with her children there. Married to her sweetheart Mike, she is a mother of four, stepmother of two, and a recent grandmother to an 8-month-old baby girl with a grandson due in October.
Of particular interest to Julia is the lifelong effects of being adopted on intimate relationships, a topic she explored for her Master's degree. A trained counselor working with young people, she is currently completing a doctorate on how being an adopted person might affect the experience of being a parent to one's own biological children.

Click here to send us a text. Also, our book “Pulled By The Root” is available at https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/book

https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

In this week's episode, we are delighted to have two special guests for an enriching roundtable discussion. We welcome back Lance Lukin, our guest from episode 33. Born in New Zealand in 1967, Lance was placed for adoption when he was just 21 days old, with his adoption becoming official in 1969.
In addition, we are privileged to be joined by Brigitta Baker, adopted during the era of closed adoptions. Brigitta, fondly known as Brigs, brings a wealth of professional experience to the conversation, having held diverse roles ranging from advisory positions to leadership development, human resource management, and coaching.

We look forward to sharing their unique insights and experiences with you.

Adopted: Love, loss, family and reunion is the new memoir by Jo Willis & Brigitta Baker about their respective adoption journeys. 

For more about Brigitta,
https://www.masseypress.ac.nz/books/all/adopted

For more about Lance’s journey:
Content warning, the following episode contains content that may be triggering
https://open.spotify.com/episode/10zzfNvAuG488Ovgidxpfc?si=Ds4PWiCxQPyeZQG05Kv0uA


As mentioned in this episode:
Ruth Monnig Ted Talk https://youtu.be/jL4lnvQ1wVU


Special thanks to our cohosts, Amy Hansen & Elle Klassen who have graciously stepped forward to host while Heidi Marble recovers from health challenges. 

Click here to send us a text. Also, our book “Pulled By The Root” is available at https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/book

https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

Beth Syverson, a mother, wife, and musician, has been a podcaster, activist, and public speaker since 2021. After adopting Joey from Japan at seven and a half months old, she came to understand that the core of his substance use stemmed from the trauma of relinquishment. As a guiding figure for adoptive parents grappling with the realization that their child's adoption brought about trauma, Beth offers support and understanding. Through their podcast, Untangling Adoption, she and Joey openly share their experiences in order to help other families mitigate their pain. In this episode, my co-host Amy Hansen and I join Beth for a candid and in-depth conversation, holding nothing back.

For more with Beth, you can tune in on Spotify to Unraveling Adoption podcast linked below:
https://open.spotify.com/show/0237aAJvaSYpjdwC44iu3A?si=6zJuzBrdTbymtgmUxDnI3Q


Trigger Warning: The following content contains mentions of suicidal ideation and substance abuse. Please proceed with caution and prioritize your well-being. If you need support, consider reaching out to a mental health professional or helpline

Click here to send us a text. Also, our book “Pulled By The Root” is available at https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/book

https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

Born in August 1970, Patrick Hawes was adopted in North Carolina. Growing up with a Japanese adoptive mother, it was clear that he wasn't her biological child. However, it wasn't until adulthood that Patrick felt compelled to seek answers about his biological family. Questions like "Why did my mom give me up? Was I not good enough? Did she not want me?" weighed on his mind. In 2015, Patrick embarked on a journey to find those answers. As he puts it, "I knew there was a possibility my mom wouldn't want me or want a relationship with me. Searching for your biological family always comes with risks, but for me, it was worth it." In this episode, Patrick candidly shares his heartfelt and honest experiences.

Click here to send us a text. Also, our book “Pulled By The Root” is available at https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/book

https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

In this week's episode, our guest Lindsey shares her powerful story as a first mother who became pregnant at 15 and had no choice but to give up her baby for adoption. For 40 years, Lindsey carried this pain in secret. She discusses the challenges of adoption and society's need to understand the emotional impact of mother-child separation. This heart wrenching  episode takes you on a journey as Lindsey recounts, for the first time, the highs and lows of her reunion with her daughter. 

Click here to send us a text. Also, our book “Pulled By The Root” is available at https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/book

https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

This week we are welcoming back our guest Elle K. for a second interview. We take a deep dive into mothering, estrangement, F. O. G. fear, obligation, guilt), the healing works of fairy forests as well as why “hope” is such a slippery word. Her artwork and spirit are breathtaking. Elle’s way of unpacking the complexities of adoption is dynamic, heart felt and honest.  



To listen to our first conversation with Elle, tune into Ep70. 

Click here to send us a text. Also, our book “Pulled By The Root” is available at https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/book

https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

  Shelise Keum Mee Gieseke (s/hers) is head of operations at Adoption Mosaic. Adoption Mosaic is a BIPOC woman and adoptee-led business that seeks to build an inviting adoption conscious community by providing innovative adoptee-centered programs and support. She has worked in the adoption community as an editor, educator, and administrator for over 10 years, including editing and curating the blog Land of Gazillion Adoptees and the online magazine Gazillion Voices. She is also an intercountry Korean, interracial adoptee who was adopted as an infant by a white family and raised on a farm in Minnesota. She has three siblings who are biological children of her adoptive parents. Shelise has searched for but is not in reunion with her Korean family.

 Shelise lives in Portland, OR and is parenting two biological biracial children with her husband. In this episode co-host Amy Hansen and I are blown away by the depth of knowledge Shelise shares. Her understanding of the adopted persons experience is far reaching.


For more about the incredible work Shelise and her team are doing, please visit their website below.
https://www.adoptionmosaic.com/

Click here to send us a text. Also, our book “Pulled By The Root” is available at https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/book

https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

Shelley is a domestic adoptee from the baby scoop era. 1970.  She started her search four years ago and has since struggled deeply with attempts to connect with her biological Mother. Shelley is a pediatric nurse who is married with two sons. For this episode, I am joined by my guest co-host adopted person Amy Hansen. Together we traverse the highs and lows of Shelley’s journey. The courage and compassion Shelley holds in her heart are inspiring. 

Click here to send us a text. Also, our book “Pulled By The Root” is available at https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/book

https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

Jenny Becknell is a biological mother who relinquished her daughter in an open adoption plan in 1992. The adoption was so open that Jenny left the hospital with the adoptive parents who welcomed them into their home. The relationship continued to be amicable until Jenny’s daughter turned 18 then it all fell apart. Jenny has watched her daughter struggle over the years, even though she had her biological parents and adoptive parents in her life it wasn’t easy. All the decisions were made by others about who her daughter should be, leaving her daughter feeling powerless. In this episode, we dive deep into the complications of this situation from all angles. Jenny holds nothing back and wants nothing more than to help people understand the pain and trauma adoption brings.

Click here to send us a text. Also, our book “Pulled By The Root” is available at https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/book

https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/