Pulled By The Root - Amplifying Adoption Issues

This week we are joined by Sandra Moon, a Maltese adopted person from regional NSW in Australia. She is a journalist and writer currently working on her memoir regarding her experiences of adoption and reunion with universal themes of the innate desire for familial connection and belonging. Sandra was in a children’s home and therefore classified as a Forgotten Australian, she is also the child of a Forgotten Australian who was in foster care placements and children's homes. Sandra is a mother and has had several experiences of motherhood, most of them non traditional. She has been a legal guardian of a child in Nepal, fostered three children and has a daughter she birthed. Currently Sandras family consists a teen and a tween and a cat named Gretel. In this episode, Sandra speaks to the reality of what it is to challenged with the issues surrounding adoption, sexual orientation and identity. She shares her diverse experiences from a deep heart felt place. Our conversation enforces the power of sharing, connection and action oriented healing. 

Click here to send us a text. Also, our book “Pulled By The Root” is available at https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/book

https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

Rosanne is a first mom from Saint Louis Missouri. She joins us from her beautiful 10 acre farm to have a heart felt conversation about relinquishing her daughter. She is passionate about good physical, mental and spiritual health. Rosanne has written a book called Puzzle Pieces of My Heart-our stories of adoption. The book is a collection of stories told by those touched by adoption. Her book addresses the myriad of emotions from shame, grief, relief and gratitude. Rosanne believes that by sharing our stories we can find hope, freedom and restoration. She hopes by hearing from all sides we can find more compassion for those affected by adoption. Rosanne did not shy away from the hard questions, her openness and strength fill this episode.

Click here to send us a text. Also, our book “Pulled By The Root” is available at https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/book

https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

In this episode I am joined by my co-author Alysa Zalma M.D.(Psychiatrist) as well as Dr. Abbie Goldberg. Abbie E. Goldberg is a Professor in the Department of Psychology at Clark University in Worcester, Massachusetts, where she also currently serves as the Director of Women’s & Gender Studies, and is the current holder of the Jan and Larry Landry Endowed Chair (2020-2023). She graduated summa cum laude from Wesleyan University with a BA in psychology, and received an MA in psychology and a Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of Massachusetts Amherst. Dr. Goldberg is an internationally recognized scholar, speaker, and consultant, who is regularly interviewed by media outlets including the New York Times, The Atlantic, the Boston Globe, and New York Magazine. Her research examines diverse families, including LGBTQ-parent families and adoptive-parent families, as well as the experiences of marginalized groups such as trans youth. A central theme of her research is the decentering of any “normal” or “typical” family, sexuality, or gender, to allow room for diverse families, sexualities, and genders.

Dr. Goldberg is the author of over 140 peer-reviewed articles, over 25 book chapters, and four books: LGBTQ Family Building: A Guide for Prospective Parents (APA; 2022), Open Adoption & Diverse Families (Oxford; 2020), Gay Dads (NYU Press; 2012), Lesbian and Gay Parents and their Children (APA; 2010). She is the co-editor of four books: LGBTQ-Parent Families: Innovations in Research and Implications for Practice (Springer; 2013, 2020), LGBTQ Divorce and Relationship Dissolution (Oxford, 2019), the SAGE Trans Encyclopedia (SAGE; 2021), and the SAGE Encyclopedia of LGBTQ Studies (SAGE; 2016). Her research has been cited in numerous amicus briefs filed in cases related to marriage equality, gay adoption, trans civil rights, and other topics (e.g., Obergefell v. Hodges, 2015; Fulton v. City of Philadelphia, 2021). She currently serves as a Deputy Editor of the Journal of Marriage and Family, and serves as an editorial board member on seven journals. She has received research funding from the American Psychological Association, the Alfred P. Sloan Foundation, the Williams Institute, the Society for the Psychological Study of Social Issues, the National Institutes of Health, and the Spencer Foundation, among other sources. She teaches courses on diversity in contemporary families, research methods with diverse families, human sexuality, the psychology of sexual orientation, gender and crime, and ethics in clinical psychology. We discussed the impact of her research, how to best serve children of adoption as well as problems within the system. It was an incredible experience to share time with these dynamic compassionate women.

Click here to send us a text. Also, our book “Pulled By The Root” is available at https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/book

https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

When asked to write a few sentences as an introduction, Elle thought of the Jane Austen quote from a letter written to her sister, "Which of my important nothings shall I tell you first?" Elle is an inveterate scribbler of words, painter & sketcher of pictures, insatiable reader of books, ponderer of ideas, lover of music & movement, delighted observer and photographer of the world around her, and the bearer of a bit of dark humour. She has a bachelor's degree in Biblical Studies. She's an adoptee. Her husband suggested that she add that she has three brilliant grown children, one very handsome dog named Angus, and one geezer. He's the geezer. Elle has heard herself described as Bohemian. She's always liked that. In this episode, Elle bravely speaks of her reunion, estrangement and the longing for her “true self”. Elle also shares one her poems Pandora’s Box giving voice to the pain, validating that expression heals.

Click here to send us a text. Also, our book “Pulled By The Root” is available at https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/book

https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

Mary Roberds is an adopted person who found her biological mother and sister at the age of 19. At 48 years old she is still looking for her biological father. Mary shares her story with such vivid detail, emphasizing that babies/children know more than we give them credit for. Mary remembers the rain on the car window the day she saw her mother for the last time. She is passionate about helping other adopted people step into their truth. Mary feels strongly that one person should not be able to sign a paper and have another humans history erased. She is so proud of our community for their strength, courage and tenacity. 

NOTE: This episode does discuss suicide.

Click here to send us a text. Also, our book “Pulled By The Root” is available at https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/book

https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

About the Author

Emma Stevens is a U.S. domestic adoptee from birth and has survived layers of trauma that have put her on multiple journeys. She developed the inner strength and courage to surmount the many struggles she faced. Her traumas were born from being an adoptee who struggled with being forced to wear an impossible mask of playing the part of the "good” adopted child. Because being relinquished and adopted has colored her life, it's Emma's desire to be part of the movement that is dedicated to helping bring forth change to the way our world views the needs and support of adopted individuals. She believes strongly in adoptees finding their voice and discovering their truth to have a solid sense of self and to reclaim their identities. Through telling her story, Emma is dedicated to help redefine the narrative of adoption to include the entire complex truth. This memoir is Emma Stevens' first book. She has an undergraduate degree in journalism and has completed Master's level course work in psychology, specializing in Marriage, Family, and Child counseling. She has two adult children and two cat children who she adores.

Click here to send us a text. Also, our book “Pulled By The Root” is available at https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/book

https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

Peter J. Boni credits his disruptive childhood, a state college education from UMass@Amherst, decorated on-the-ground service as a US Army Special Operations Team Leader in Vietnam (coined his “Rice Paddy MBA”), love of his family and friendship circle, plus luck-of-the-draw DNA with making him the person he has become today—an author, advocate, and fun-loving grandfather living on Cape Cod, Massachusetts.

During his accomplished business career (high-tech CEO, venture capitalist, board chairman, non-profit leader, award-winning entrepreneur, senior advisor), Peter has applied “lessons of leadership through adversity” from his life-altering experiences—themes found throughout his first book, All Hands on Deck: Navigating Your Team Through Crises, Getting Your Organization Unstuck, and Emerging Victorious. 

In his book Uprooted, Peter intimately shares his personal odyssey and acquired expertise to advocate for regulatory oversight of the multibillion-dollar reproductive industry that conceives hundreds of half-siblings from a single donor—children and adults who are unaware of the existence of their half-siblings. 

In this episode, we explore the bridge between the adoption community and donor conceived people. Peter explains the history of scientific “solutions” for couples struggling with fertility. We also discuss the shared dilemmas of identity, genetic history and eraser. Peter believes as most do in our adoption community that everyone has the right to know where they came from.

Click here to send us a text. Also, our book “Pulled By The Root” is available at https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/book

https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

Lissa Warren has worked at several Boston publishing houses including David R. Godine, Houghton Mifflin, and Perseus Publishing. She most recently served as Vice President, Senior Director of Publicity and Acquiring Editor at Da Capo Press, an imprint of the Hachette Book Group. In January of 2019 she established Lissa Warren PR, which focuses on publicity for authors and books.

The author of The Savvy Author's Guide to Book Publicity (Carroll & Graf, 2004), she has spoken about publishing for the Virginia Festival of the Book, Lesley University, Publishers Marketing Association, the American Society of Journalists and Authors, Publishers Association of the South, BookBuilders of Boston, ForeWord magazine, Grub Street, the New Hampshire Writers' Project, the Cape Cod Writers Conference, and the Adirondack Writer's Conference, among others. In addition to teaching at Emerson, she's on the advisory council of Southern New Hampshire University's M.F.A. writing program, serves on the advisory board at Beacon Press, and blogs about publishing for the Huffington Post. Ms. Warren's poetry has appeared in Quarterly West, Oxford Magazine, Black Warrior Review, and Verse, and she's a poetry editor for the literary magazine Post Road. Her latest book, a memoir called The Good Luck Cat: How a Cat Saved a Family and a Family Saved a Cat, was published by Lyons Press in October of 2014.

This episode is offered as a gift to the writers in our adoption community. Lissa shares the hard truth about the publishing world and how to best handle our stories. Her expertise provides a road map to those seeking to publish their books. Our deepest hope is that by understating more about the publishing “game” and we can move forward on the path of least resistance. As we navigate our own effort to publish Pulled By The Root- An Adoptees healing from Trauma, Shame and Loss, Lissa’s advice could not have been more helpful. Your story matters and we want you to reach as many people as possible.

Click here to send us a text. Also, our book “Pulled By The Root” is available at https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/book

https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

Amy Hansen is a domestic adopted person born in 1969, she was placed for adoption at birth. Amy has been married to a wonderfully supportive husband for 30 years, they have three amazing children and a golden retriever. She has been reunion for almost four years and recently came out of the fog. Amy wants to share her story to spread the message of adoption trauma and offer support to all parties touched by adoption. In this episode, Amy shares the angst of coming to terms with adoption loss. She just reached out a few days ago and said that so much healing has happened since we recorded this episode last year. Amy gives us hope that we can persevere!

Click here to send us a text. Also, our book “Pulled By The Root” is available at https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/book

https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

Chris Duffy-Wentzel is an adopted person, personal life coach, author of Finding The Missing Peace and speaker living in the Sedona area. Chris is a Results Coach certified through the Neuroleadership Institute and accredited by the International Coaching Federation. Her private practice focuses on wellness and helping individuals manage careers, relationships and life transitions. In this episode, we discuss our experiences with cancer and how important awareness is. We explore how adoption might be at the core of both physical and psychological issues. Chris encourages all of us to be empathetic with the tender hurting parts of ourselves. She also emphasizes that each of us creates our own unique path to wholeness. 

Click here to send us a text. Also, our book “Pulled By The Root” is available at https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/book

https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/