Pulp Nightmare | Tales of The Unaccountable | Comedy | Weird | Movie Commentaries

In which the boys recount the last part of a real-life trilogy gone awry and get real with everyone, telling tales of woe and misfortune that results in some disturbing implications. Was he guilty of assaulting her? Did the conspiracy ring true? What the hell does yeast have to do with any of it? And if that weren't enough, Mike unintentionally journeys into The Phantom Zone and finds himself touching Coke, experiencing visions of the bizarre and the microscopic, and suffering a defeat at the hands of a pair of outdated glasses. YOU KNEW WHAT YOU WERE DOING, YOU MONSTER!

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys ask you... WHERE... IS... THE ROCKET!? No idea? Well, can you at least reveal to us the identity of The Laughing Bandit? WHAT!? Good heavens, it's Sir Reginald!? But enough about us learning various secrets, because tonight we're strapping a jetpack on, wearing the most art-deco helmet in history, and battling evil nazi Timothy Dalton atop a blimp! Let it be printed in all the old timey spinning newspapers that we're watching THE ROCKETEER! And tell 'em Howard Hughes said so.

Can it really be the end?! The boys certainly hope so, as Frank Miller's all-star magnum opus of mental instability comes to a terrifying conclusion. Gotham City has seen it's share of freaks, but how will it deal with costumed vigilante sex, chemistry lessons gone awry, hatred of the sun, butlers who like to dress little boys, that damned idiot Hal Jordan, clowns inexplicably covered with dragon tattoos, hatred of the sun, murderous twelve-year olds with lemonade, hatred of the sun; and worst of all, the dreaded cliffhanger... with no ending! Get your bull---- straight, Pulpsters, because this is one finale you don't want to miss. Well, maybe you do.

In further horrifying insights into the all-star life of The Dark Knight, the boys discover that heroes aren't all that they're cracked up to be as plastic men run rampant, the Irish speak nonsense, the shirtlessness continues, collarbones and brain injuries make a speedy recovery, madness is an upside down face, and precious blood is spilled. Hal Jordan, you useless bastard.

In this special epic of retarded all-star proportions, the boys take a break from their usual bouts of insanity to take a trip to... Gotham City?! Well, maybe this won't be so bad. Except, wait... Is that The Batmobile? Murdering cops?! And is that a terrified boy inside?! Why does he keep clenching his fist?! Who's the shirtless british guy?! Is that woman Irish?! Who's the man running across water and why does he keep saying "damn"?! What in god's name is a robot machine?! Why is the boy eating rats?! BATMAN, NO!

In which the boys delve deep into the nightly recesses of America's #1 poverty retailer in order to discover it's horrifying secrets, from mysterious rooms hidden behind a veil of flat-screen televisions to the craziest back room dweller of all - with each story peeling back a new layer of insanity in one of the co-hosts! Then, it's social darwinism, as the first video game reality show is plotted in intricate detail to the point of almost certain arrest, one desperate man just tries to find a place to sleep for the night, and another turns a corner only to find a... WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH! Damn your vengeful spirit, Sam Walton!

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, we once again find ourselves on a doomed 80's camping trip. But is it... for the final time? Due to movie executive greed, NO, it is not. We'll pretend though, 'kay? So, shed a tear, light your vigils, and be TERRIFIED of Little Corey Feldman; for Jason's time is at an end(until we need money). Tonight we watch: FRIDAY THE 13TH PART FOUR: THE FINAL CHAPTER. Featuring Crispin 'McFly' Glover!

In which the boys aren't gonna talk about Judy. Mike and Hero aren't gonna talk about her at ALL. Because in a week of spectacular trailers, they're hung up on a return to their favorite small town, where laxatives are met with outrage and the prom queens vibrate. Where's our ax? WE'RE HUNGRY.

In which one of the boys discovers that the most terrifying thing of all is embracing life itself! Embarking on a journey of self discovery and laundry detergent that leads to the strangest overnight sub-culture of all, the time Thomas Jane and LL Cool J avenged the death of a parrot, and what the hell that head-sock that Gambit of the X-Men wore really was. All before diving into the real teeth of the matter: where Venom can stick that goddamn tongue. Dammit, Professor X! Stop being a dick for once in your miserable life!

In which Sheriff Mike and One-Legged MB... arrive... to talk about "A," the Season Four finale of The Walking Dead. What? Did you think they were going to be eaten by a band of cannibals or something? You clearly don't know who you're [EXPLETIVE REMOVED] with.