In this episode, I’m joined by psychotherapist, relationship expert, and Psychology Today blogger Tonya Lester to talk about her empowering new book, Pushback: Live, Love, and Work with Others Without Losing Yourself.

If you tend to avoid conflict, over-accommodate others, or struggle to speak up for what you need, this conversation offers a refreshing and deeply practical perspective on assertiveness. Tonya shares why being “difficult” — not cruel or combative, but clear, honest, and self-respecting — is often essential for building healthier relationships and a more authentic life.

Together, we explore the hidden costs of people pleasing, the ways women are often conditioned to prioritize harmony over honesty, and how learning to “rock the boat” can actually create deeper connection and self-trust.

In this episode, Tonya dicusses:

00:47 Harmony Trap Explained

02:15 Why Women Disappear

03:52 How This Pattern Formed

05:41 Home Labor Inequality

09:23 Pandemic Pressure Test

10:51 Whose Time Matters

12:41 Why Speaking Up Feels Hard

18:13 Guilt and Anger Permission

19:53 Shock Absorber Behavior

21:26 Weather Vane Emotions

24:21 Honesty Builds Intimacy

30:31 Scripts for Hard Talks

32:53 Couples Therapy Ice Bath

34:32 Where to Find Tonya

Visit Tonya's website
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For more information about Wendy's new visionary fiction book, Raven's Daughter, or to purchase a copy, visit Three Worlds Press

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