Quality Coffee Podcast

There are two kinds of people in the world. Action takers who get the job done and over think later, maybe. And over thinkers who take too long to make a decision and sometimes never pull the trigger. And they become best friends.

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Rest... how we love thee. Let us count the ways!

All of those books we have collected over our lifetime and didn't find the time to read. All of the flowers and plants we've wanted to nurture in our garden but haven't. All of the wines we haven't sipped but have longed to try. All of the journaling we haven't done. All of the rest.

What does that feel like in midlife compared to before? We aren't in as much of a hurry now, are we? We are preserving time somehow by slowing down because our generation was motivated for the hustle culture. We aspired to make our dreams come true and forgot to balance our insatiable drive with a little smelling of the roses along the way.

We have found a longing in our forties to allow the pendulum to swing back the other way, although not to the extremely opposite corner. Elder Millennials are still working hard, just not on things or people who aren't working hard for us.

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It becomes evident in Midlife how much of ourselves women have given away or put aside to accommodate so many others.. We long for a lot more balance, or perhaps even a pendulum swing in our Midlife Era, we long to be wanted. Appreciated. Cared for. Considered. Adored.

We recognize around that 40-year mark that we have a yearning to return back to ourselves. We also begin to really allow space to exist where we once felt the pull to fill it. We are more graceful where we were once regimented. We are more flexible where we're once more stubborn.

To some, we are becoming a challenge... but the inherent truth is we are taking ourselves back. We are letting our Inner Child take the wheel and guide us back home.

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There is never a dull moment on The Interview episodes of Quality Coffee Podcast with Tonia and Vanessa. The same midlife women talking about taboo topics with a twist every ten episodes when we ask each other questions even we don't know about each other.

We had a lot of fun on this show. Count how many times Vanessa giggles!

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Rather than a discussion about how to be spiritual, we dive into a conversation about lived experiences and how they've shaped (mostly) Tonia's life.

In the beginning Vanessa shares the difference between religion and spirituality where she says:

" Religion is structured, shared, tradition based and spirituality is personal, open-ended, and experience based."

Tonia shared anecdotal stories of how spirituality has more or less chased her throughout her life, most of the time against her will. It took half a lifetime to really sink into the gift of connection to intuition and the energy beyond our physical form. On the other side of embracing spirituality, Tonia has really connected back to herself and the Universe in a powerful way. It offers a new way to spend quality time with herself and to explore just how her spirituality can expand her understanding and acceptance of what was and what is still to come.

How do you connect with spirituality?

What does your relationship with religion look like?

What do you want to get curious about?

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Do you ever wonder if we are mistaken about eras of our lives because we simply have never taken the time to reclaim them? Midlife was packaged up with a pretty bow and handed to us filled with disclaimers and warning labels about the treacherous ways women left men enduring them. Motorcyles and long road trips on them was their prescribed antidote for when women went absolutely insane.

Turns out, we don't.

A flip gets switched and a lightbulb goes off and what happens after that is... calm. An all-knowing. It happens to every last one of us, and some of us are fucking mad because we had been lied to. Lied to about our own bodies, our own minds, what ought to be expected of us... and then when the light goes on in this dark room we can see clearly what is wrong and we know exactly how we're going to fix it.

It's about a coming back to ourselves movement and if we are mad it's from a lack of concern for women as a whole. Most of us, however, aren't mad at all. We have just come to realize what our worth is and what our standards always should have been. Midlife women have clarity and take action.

We find our village of women friends, we drink and eat well, we vacation and wear comfortable clothes that actually fit our amazing bodies and we do everything possible to protect our peace.

If that sounds like you, grab your coffee and let's chat.

We are in an interesting time when our parents are aging which has some of us facing difficult questions and decisions. Tonia, having been very ill for a long time, offers a unique perspective on how a sick family member can impact a home long after the fact. This episode also exposes the hardships and differences between the Millennial and Boomer generations and how expectations and demands play a role in Elder Millennials resistance of conditional love tactics. It's controversial, but what episode of Quality Coffee Podcast hasn't been so far?

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Tonia and Vanessa deep dive into all of the ways we felt unprepared for the experiences young women go through that impact us still to this day. A lot of our parents were too uncomfortable to talk to us and also encouraged us to be too uncomfortable to talk to anyone else as well. How many of us were told these things are private or not to talk to anyone about our worries or problems. When it comes to sex, our periods, changes to our bodies and all of the explanations why - we wouldn’t have found ourselves in very scary situations learning about oral sex for the first time as it is happening or suddenly finding blood in your underwear at day camp and wondering if you were dying. Information is power and it also is safety. Your children need to know sex ed from you before it happens. All of it. They deserve it, and so did we.
So get your coffee and let’s chat!

Once we hit our 40-something era we knew we couldn't agree to sitting in comfort anymore but now in all areas of our lives. You know how you work so hard in all of these areas like career, parenting, your marriage... but maybe you let this or that slide? It's almost impossible to do once you hit midlife because it's right there. In your face. Staring at you. Like, are you gonna do something about this? Or......?

You know what it takes to be courageous?

Your inability to ignore your own bullshit.

Being courageous, being brave, means believing in yourself and your forties is the best time to finally all in.

Let's start that conversation right now. Grab your coffee and let's chat.

What Tonia and Vanessa have reeky discovered in Midlife so far is that there is plenty of un-learning to do on our journey for inner peace. Whose values are these anyway and how did they get here? Have you been asking yourself the same thing lately?

Why were our family systems based on fear, "because I said so" and conditions?

Do they have to actually run in this way or can we shift and re-write our own values?

Why does our generations' decisions to be better for ourselves and our children trigger our parents' generation so much?

All of these questions and more answered on this week's episode of the Quality Coffee Podcast!

Grab your coffee and let's chat.