Reading Scott's Diary

Following the hiatus, RSD is back with a bang as Scott heads to the Blackpool Illuminations switch on, is warned about smelly test tubes, and takes a violent stance against a garden bashing. Elsewhere, Lizzie and Scott chat disgraced popstars, starting your period, and small boobs. 

It's Christmas! Scott and Lizzie take a look at Scott's bizarre collection of celebrity autographs, from Blue Peter presenters, the cast and crew of Two Pints, the incomparable Beverley Callard and many more. Lizzie also opens up another of her bonkers celebrity journals - in her crosshairs this time is everybody's favourite Jackass star Chris Pontius. 

RSD is coming at you remotely for the first time as Scott continues his summer holidays. Back in 2004, Scott gets a new uniform in preparation for the start of year 10, enjoys a few hand-me-down baths, and the Griffin family’s obsession with eggs continues. Elsewhere, Scott and Lizzie chat heady festival toilet aromas, provocative performance art and legendary trapped wind.

As the summer holidays continue, Scott is mesmerised by the 2004 Athens Olympic Games, loses his bike the morning after a party, and does a whole lot of MSN blocking and egg eating. At the table, Lizzie and Scott discuss Lizzie's menstruation cycle, London 2012 and get to grips with dreaded bum beef. 

As the summer holidays drone on, Scott becomes a webmaster, is kept awake by his dad's didge, and is troubled by punctuation shaped neck spots. Outside of the very detailed diary, Scott and Lizzie chat fish in parsley sauce scented deodorant, writing 'masturbate' in inappropriate places, and wanking off a pencil. 

In the summer holidays between years 9 and 10, Scott pesters television writers, enjoys spoonfuls of cold baked beans and gets some culture as he enjoys Boogie Nights at the glitzy Grand Theatre. Around the table, Scott and Lizzie chat Blackpool's urine patches, a pre-MP3 world, and how best to do a Kinga with a wine bottle.

Scott gets sentimental as year 9 comes to an end, experiments with drink and drugs, and gets a nasty surprise in a service station toilet. In other news, Scott and Lizzie chat maggot infestations, home videos and accessing porn in the noughties. [This episode contains homophobic language that some listeners may find offensive]

With the summer holidays fast approaching, Scott gets in a fight to protect a spider's web, gets a new Walkman and sees incriminating texts on a friend's phone. Meanwhile, Scott and Lizzie chat homophobic bullying, figuring out your sexuality and the politest way to ask for a handjob. [This episode contains homophobic language that some listeners may find offensive]

Scott gets emotional in maths, discusses sexy leg tensing and destroys a teacher's belongings. Also, he drinks a LOT of milk. Outside of school, Scott begins writing to the cast of BBC sitcom Two Pints, exhibits shocking behaviour during a cinema screening of The Notebook, and Becki delivers her infamous Judas Kiss on Big Brother. Elsewhere, Scott and Lizzie chat Christmas Day porn and unfortunate school nicknames.

In the last few months of year 9, Scott triumphs at his poem recital, gets under the sheets with deceptive chickens and a great dane, and gets pumped watching Big Brother's infamous Fight Night. Meanwhile, Lizzie and Scott discuss dog eat dog bullying, negative body image and Scott’s top tip for seduction.