Some inappropriate hickies are given and Big Brother 4 starts. In other news, Scott starts going to drama club, revamps his hairstyle, and suckles lukewarm tea from a baby’s bottle. Around the table, Lizzie and Scott chat inappropriate comments on nights out, getting up early to play video games and teachers being mean. 

Scott rents X-Men on video and steals a squirrel. Meanwhile, at school, his music teacher is a cruel witch, exams start and the I Hate Scott contract is delivered. Elsewhere, Scott and Lizzie chat Eurotrash, having a TV in your room as a kid, and how they first met. 

With his best friend Lizzie, Scott opens up his diary from 2003 and finds out what he had for breakfast, which of his friends were liars, which ones were bonking, and what happened when he got caught writing an erotic story in geography.