Reality Wagon

Nature - what is it? When you see a beautiful stallion gallop across the plains or a bird sing their sweet morning song, how does it make you feel? I'll tell you how it makes me feel - LOCK EM ALL UP IN CAPTIVITY BABYYYY. Dance for my amusement, suckers. Do it until I'm bored, you stupid giraffe. Matt Damon bought a zoo; Reality Wagon drafted a zoo.

We're talking basketball, folks. But we're not drafting NBA teams today, no sir. Instead we decided to draft leaders of the free world - you ever wondered whether James Polk could cross over Bill Clinton? No? Well that changes today, fella. It's very obvious some of us have never watched basketball, but definitely took AP history.

What get’s on you’re nerves? Is it bad grammar 😉? Is it when poor people are too damn poor to eat at the same restaurant as you - you rich, successful man, you? Is it when children exist? I dunno, that’s why they’re YOUR pet peeves. I didn’t draft YOUR pet peeves, I drafted MY pet peeves. And mine are perfect and correct, always.

So there I was, the year of our lord 2009. Thine hallowed halls reek of Hollister cologne and Ke$ha. Each day began a battle - me vs. hairgel. We kissed our mothers and fathers goodbye each morn, nary an expectation that we would return home the same smelly preteens they once loved - we'd been slowly weathered by the storm. By with for each SillyBand snapped and Webkinz left on the bus, a piece of our chubby bodies left behind soforth. But alas we were rebel soldiers of the late 00's and I don't f****** know dude I was just trying to survive man. Middle school was b***s***, my guy. Listen to the podcast and relive your traumas, nerd.

Have you ever wondered "Hey this mall food court is PRETTY GOOD, but what if it had a Shake Shack AND a Panda Express??" That’s right, we did too. So we drafted our own dream food courts - with the primary objective of earning max revenue for the mall and getting full food genre coverage. At least that's what most of us did - Spencer decided to play by different rules, as per usual.

Welcome one, and welcome all to the premiere episode of Reality Wagon Fantasy Drafts! Join Anthony, Andrew, Drew, and Spencer as they draft and debate their favorite Canadians. That's right - we decided to perform charity work and actually devote time to talking about America Lite.

And now, the end is here

And so we face the final curtain

My friend I'll make it clear

I hate this show, that much I'm certain

I've watched this boring show

Every week, traveled highways

To watch The Bachelor and now I say

I'm bored by MAAAAAAATT JAMES

Feels good to be back, folks. Honestly, needed the break. This episode is pretty good; some really solid discush in here. Not so much about The Bachelor, but this season stinks so we have to make this pod interesting somehow. That's the Reality Wagon difference!

We muster up the energy to hardly talk about The Bachelor this week. But I mean, let's be fair - we mustered up as much energy for this podcast as Matt James has mustered all season. It's a good thing he's pretty, kind, charitable, strong, and family-oriented because he certainly wasn't blessed with the comedic chops that I have. He really doesn't have much going for him at all.