As we step into a new school year, many of us are in a season of transition. Sending little ones off to kindergarten, big kids off to high school, and young adults off to college means a time filled with backpacks, checklists, early bedtimes and busy mornings. It also means waving goodbye not just to the kids as they leave the house, but chapters of life that will never return.

Last summer around this time, I was struggling mightily. In the span of about a week, a dear friend passed away, my father’s health declined significantly, and we packed up my oldest son, Jack, to head off to college out of state. Everything around me felt chaotic and unmoored. A chapter I had loved living was ending and a new one was beginning. The sadness lingered long after leaving my friend’s wake, visiting Dad at the hospital or driving away from the dorm where Jack now lived.

This year as we grieve the loss of my dad and prepare to send Jack back to college, two more boys into high school, and my daughter Grace into her final year of middle school, I’m trying something different to help me cope: I’m reframing the goodbye.

Let me explain.