Regular Features

Get this reader on the table, we need to operate NOW! Nurse, pass me a syringe full of Matt forgetting if he's ever owned a watch. I'm going to make a two-inch incision and insert Joe griping about his comedy heroes being sad about death. WE'RE LOSING THEM. We're going to have to do it- Nurse, I understand your reservations but we have to no TIME. We're going to try an experimental technique which involves shoving Log talking about yoga directly into the reader's spinal chord. We lost them. This never gets easier. Time of death: whenever this podcast description ended. I'm going to get a pork pie.

"Raving Energy (faster)" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

The three original feature boys return for a very special reunion episode, never to be repeated, just like that time The Beatles went up on the roof and refused to come down until Linda McCartney invented frozen vegan sausages.

Matt revisits his thoughts on Torchwood. Log treats us to a high-defintion re-release of some half-remembered Steve-on-Matt canoodling. And Steve ensures we'll never have sponsorship for at least another ten years, by reprising the one good feature idea he ever had.

This week Gav's been combing the Discord for #content - something which he swears he won't be doing again. Meanwhile Log's addresses a pretty nasty complaint we've had and Joe has been called up to jury duty or JOEry duty, if you will. Actually...no...it's jury duty. Sorry. Our mistake.

If you'd like to join the Discord then get involved on Patreon:

www.patreon.com/regularfeatures

According to the big Regular Features egg-timer on the roof, it's been exactly ten years since we invented podcasting. To celebrate, we've given ourselves a facelift. The unparalleled Sonny Ross has created new podcast art. The Patreon has an exciting new tier. And as for us? Well, we're only speaking in Spanish from now on.

Por favor... www.patreon.com/regularfeatures

En este episodio, Gav intenta meternos en el Libro Guinness de los Récords Mundiales. Y Joe recibe la visita de un magnate de las media sociales enormo, MySpace.

Por los próximos diez años!

The snap of the magnet releasing its psychic grip, the brief peel of tacky rubber, the delighted squeak of the hinges, a rush of cold air, a waft of something green, the chemical tinge of a bad houmous, a row of eggs watches on. This is it baby, you've opened the fridge for a look.

In this episode, Log opens his fridge for a look. Steve visits the optician. Matt does business with a young boy. Thank you! Hey guess what we've got a surprise for you soon. Hee hee hee. Do you ever read this bit? Hee hee hee.

"Deep Relaxation" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Did you know Kenny Rogers came up with the line "you've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em" while he was doing his laundry, it's true ask anyone.

Anyway! In this episode, Log gets imprisoned in his home by an NHS, Steve challenges the boys to a spelling contest, and Joe tries to flog an office chair. Thanks!

Here at Regular Features, we like to push boundaries. That's why we're the first podcast to ever discuss BDSM without giggling or being sick into the microphone. In this episode, Log talks about hardcore leather strap velcro kink sex, then Joe, apparently unaware of the theme, discusses tuna.

Steve, god bless him, is just sort of... there? What a strange boy.

Have you ever wondered how we learned how to do all of our incredible comedy accents? Well in this episode, we'll teach you how! Log is offering every reader a free taster of our five day accent school, which will turn YOU from a "croikey doikey wadda crocodile mister" into a "hey I slappa da calzone outta ya mouth if you don make-a de waltzer go faster, ayyyy wadda disappointing funfair".

Joe makes Gigi and offer she can't Hadid. Steve tips soil into his Xbox. Let's do this, please!

It's here.

The blimp episode!

In this hot little potato wedge of an episode, Joe remembers what it was like back before politics and games journalists ruined E3 and it was all about good, old fashioned eggs. Matt remembers what it was like when it when a hundred million Pikmin were crushed underneath a Ronaldo. And Steve, in an audacious act of sabotage, simply deletes his third of the podcast.