Regular Features

Daddy needs new shoes and the only way he's going to get them is if you listen to this lil podcast o' mine.

Gav tried to trick people with meat? Whoa! Steve tells a sexy little story about Spider-man's nighttime num-nums? Hachi-machi! Joe leaves the room to welcome in a very special, very stinky guest? Who dat? U GOTTA LISTEN BABY!

Log tries to take the pressure off of Madonna for her Aretha tribute, by doing one even less appropriate. Matt fuses spookies and politics to erotic effect, and Steve tells a story about a bird.

Joe and Gav dig through old documentation, Steve gets blind drunk and goes to watch a musical, and Log brings the ship into port with journalists on the hunt for tea.

HENCHMAN 1: It is boring here guarding the Bad Base.

HENCHMAN 2: I listen to podcasts to pass the time.

HENCHMAN 1: Oh, like what?

HENCHMAN 2: Like Regular Features of course! It is the podcast of choice for the discerning goon.

HENCHMAN 1: Wow, what's on it this week?

HENCHMAN 2: Well, Steve went to see a child's movie and was upset, Joe was nearly besmirched for a joke, and Gav tried to inculcate Steve into joining a WhatsApp group about his and his friends' arse-matter.

HENCHMAN 1: It sounds awful.

HENCHMAN 2: Fuck you Jeremy.

This week Log & Joe blow Gav's mind with a revelation about pedestrian crossings. I know that sounds shit but it genuinely isn't.

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This week's podcast hears Log, Gav, and Matt slowly melt into the carpet in an especially nostalgia-ridden ramble of an episode. Gavin has a bicycle dilemma, Matt has been Journalism'd, and Log channels the powers of another podcast to hurl shit at three men who royally deserve it. Have a GOOD WEEK

In a coincidence we are describing as "nice", this show's full of ghosts, psychics and troublingly sexy robots. Oh boy, Gav, Log and Steve have got spookies coming out of their collective arses and they're going to pour them down your ears once you click play.

SPONSORSHIP FOR THIS EPISODE KINDLY PROVIDED BY HERBIS JON-BRANTHAM.

Hoik up your mother's britches and sidle on up to the latest episode of the good old audio business we call the Regular Features podcast, in which the following things occurred. Steve imagines what the film Skyscraper starring Johnson Rock might be like. Joe becomes infatuated mind-wise with a Plane Bae. And Log prepares for the episode 300 celebration that never was.

We hope you like this one.

Stay safe.

This is the last ever episode of Regular Features*.

Steve and Joe go to town in a soundproof booth, while Log is stuck in Nottingham, a prisoner of football and his awful pub. Will they stitch together an episode? I certainly hope so, otherwise I have NO idea what I just uploaded.

*That you will be able to express in Roman Numerals as an uninterrupted string of Cs. GOT YOU GOING THOUGH HUH

Normally, we'd use this description to call you all a bunch of shites or something, but Gav met a man called Robin who's put us all on best behaviour.

Love you Robin sorry Robin