Regular Features

This week's episode was best described by Gav as "essentially a man melting on stage and still managing to be brilliant." Team Features roll onto stage at the end of a Bank Holiday Monday, unsurprisingly a little worse for wear. Wonderful/shambolic. Apologies for the audio quality this week - the setup at the venue wasn't up to scratch - but the reverb does get better later in the show. Watch on YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NijVBmGyphI

IT'S NOT A JOKE. IT'S TWO WORDS THAT SOUND SIMILAR. Matt brings his first ever Game of Thrones script *in this context*, Log teaches us all the manners we'll ever need, and Gav gives us a cutting edge report from the very brink of celebrity. What's that in your pocket? It is us!

Matt brings the Anglican, Steve brings a partial Mowgli, and Log brings a feature so singular bad that he has to obscure it and add a second feature in post. Now if you'll excuse me, I can smell kidneys, and I need to ask someone if that's a symptom of a disease

Matt updates Gav on a bit of missed business, Gav explains that he knows about wrestling by asking the other boys some questions, and Steve sings a number of songs about whales.

Log invents The Joe-Down, Steve invents Wrestling, Joe invents Murder, and Matt invents Weddings. Everyone has a nice time, and then goes downstairs for a nice drink.

Look, we're full-grown adults with big boy jobs - you CANNOT expect us to know the difference between LITTLE Mo and BIG Mo. We've got a lot on. Shut up.

Matt has been to virtual worlds, Steve has been to the actual world, and Log deals with emotional complexity in the only way he's apparently able.

His hair has launched a thousand ships and his hands have wanked a thousand dicks. Without him, we would be lost in a sea of immaturity and the podcast would only be 33-and-a-bit percent straight and we can't have that. That's how they win.

This is the best of Matt Lees as voted for by our loyal patrons who chuck money at us every episode.

Log has been roughed up something rotten, Steve has some puns about Morrissey, Gav went to a theme park where they shove rubber piping up your bum-hole, and Matt has turned into Guy Ritchie. Watch the video version here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1lbM3S-AKI&feature=youtu.be

Steve imagines a world in which we are firemens, Matt imagines a world in which the queen fabricates Russian-guage rail from her anus, and Log fails to write a Kinky Boots feature and tries to have a conversation instead