Relationships Let's Talk About It!

Thomas Doochin moved down the street from our house around the end of 2019. And, through more than a year and a half of knowing each other, he and I have become good friends and neighbors. Thomas is the former CEO of Daymaker, a compassion platform that helps organizations cultivate a deeper connection with their community. After several years in service as Daymaker's chief executive, Thomas is now beginning a new cycle of life. Today, he is exploring his native roots, regenerative agriculture, and how he can serve to reconnect people to the land - all in addition to remaining open in a beautiful space where the truths of life can come to him and the people around him.

In this episode, Thomas and I share our needs to be in a deeper, more authentic friendship. We discuss how we can take risks to communicate our wants and needs and describe the challenges of taking those risks to be closer. We discuss what it means to be honest and why we need to ground ourselves in our own truth. We also highlight the role of simple moments of life in bringing out truth and underscore how we can create safe spaces where we can express radical honesty to each other.

"Honesty is the pathway to the larger truth. There are micro moments of honesty where your feelings might get hurt. But those micro moments of honesty add up to us being in touch with this larger truth." - Thomas Doochin

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

• An invitation to be human and excavate radical honesty in relationships
• Learning to watch the transition between life's highs and lows
• Diving into what it means to be honest
• Our need for other people who can hold space for us
• The importance of asking our friends to hold space
• The profoundness of simple moments and their power to create safe spaces
• Why we need to center onto our own truth
• The larger truths of life, how honesty leads to it, and what it means to share what is real
• Speaking your truth in a compassionate way
• Creating spaces for radical honesty
• How small moments of interaction can set the stage for honesty and truth
• Bringing truth and authenticity in compassion
• The beauty of long relationships and friendships and the healing power of intimacy
• An evening of talk, pumpkin pie, and holding on to the sweetness of experience

Resources Mentioned:

• Radical Honesty: How to Transform Your Life by Telling the Truth by Brad Blanton

Related Content:

• The Relationship of Business Through the Lens of Giving
• Generosity: Contemplating How We Show Up In Our Relationships
• The Challenges of Workplace Relationships

Connect with Thomas Doochin:

• Daymaker
• Daymaker on Instagram
• Daymaker on Facebook
• Daymaker on Twitter
• Thomas Doochin on LinkedIn
• Thomas Doochin on Twitter

Let's Talk About It!

Thanks for tuning into this week's episode of Relationships! Let's Talk About It - the show to help you forge deeper, more meaningful connections and relationships with those around you. If you enjoyed this week's episode, please head over to Apple Podcasts, subscribe to the show, and leave us a rating and review.

You can check out the original songs I have sung in my podcast at Pripo's Podcast Songs.

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, contact us. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

Don't forget to visit our website, like us on Facebook at HeartShare Counseling, join our Relationships! Let's Talk About It Facebook group, and follow us on Twitter and Instagram. Share your favorite episodes on social media to help others build better, more meaningful relationships.

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

Two people meet under some random circumstance, fall in love, experience some disconnection along the way and question their feelings. Realizing they really love each other, the wedding bells toll. Such is the usual plot of a romantic film. By the time the credits roll and the theater lights up, we already have this assumption that they spend the rest of their lives together in blissful matrimony. While we can't deny that love and romance are beautiful things, these films fail to show the real work involved in maintaining long-term, healthy relationships.

Today, I discuss how we create relationship illusions - and how we can recognize and dissipate these illusions so we can appreciate our partners for who they truly are. I share a recent blunder I made in my relationship with my wife and underscore the importance of reacting not as children but as adults. I explain how expecting our partners to be perfect can damage our relationship with them as well as why growth involves knowing what's happening within us. I also discuss ways we can exercise our relational skills and highlight our roles as teachers (and students) of love in a relationship.

"Loving relationships are beautiful, but we need to understand reality and welcome it so that we can turn every moment into something intimate, transparent, and authentic." - Pripo Teplitsky

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

• The mundaneness, challenges, and joys of long-term relationships
• How we unconsciously love the way we loved as children
• The humility involved in the work of love
• How anger can erode sexual desire and the quality of relationships
• Dispelling the illusion of perfection in our partners and ourselves
• What real love is and the importance of compassion and empathy in relationships
• How the shadow aspects of relationships can be an ally
• Why love is more effective at bringing people together than keeping them together
• Getting to know your love map and how to hone our relationship and relating skills
• The difficulty of changing the type of people we are attracted to
• Changing our response to the imperfection of life and people
• How to become a better teacher of kindness, generosity, and empathy in your relationship

Related Content:

• What Makes a Relationship Worth Doing the Hard Work
• Falling in Love
• Difficult Conversations

Let's Talk About It!

Thanks for tuning into this week's episode of Relationships! Let's Talk About It - the show to help you forge deeper, more meaningful connections and relationships with those around you. If you enjoyed this week's episode, please head over to Apple Podcasts, subscribe to the show, and leave us a rating and review.

You can check out the original songs I have sung in my podcast at Pripo's Podcast Songs.

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, contact us. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

Don't forget to visit our website, like us on Facebook at HeartShare Counseling, join our Relationships! Let's Talk About It Facebook group, and follow us on Twitter and Instagram. Share your favorite episodes on social media to help others build better, more meaningful relationships.

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

Dealing with our own anger habits in a healthy and productive way can be challenging in itself, but what can often be even more difficult is learning how to deal with receiving someone else's anger in a way that doesn't turn into a conflict or inspire feelings of resentment. If we leave ourselves unchecked, it can be easy to 'feed off' of someone else's anger. Keeping ourselves grounded when receiving someone's anger is critical to defuse the situation, but how do you do that? Addiction counselor, trauma specialist, and co-founder of Still Point Wellness, Corey Costanzo, suggests it starts with self-regulation

In today's episode, Corey and I discuss the varying degrees of anger - both giving and receiving it. We discuss how some anger is considered healthy and how we can determine when someone's anger becomes unhealthy and abusive. We explore ways couples can help their partners defuse their anger. We discuss how my wife, Rainbow, helps me self-regulate my angry feelings by allowing me to vent. We highlight the strategies we use to keep ourselves grounded when we're on the receiving end of someone's anger, such as breathing deeply and validating the other person's point of view. We discuss the importance of setting boundaries when receiving someone's anger, some of the phrases that can often trigger a person's anger, such as"calm down," "just deal with it," and " you're making too big of a deal out of this." We also share alternative phrases you can use to help defuse an angry situation and Corey shares how his wife, Robin, helped him snap out of an 'anger fog' through empathy, understanding, and love.

"It's the validation of an angry person's anger that is most likely going to defuse the anger and lead towards greater connection and understanding." - Corey Costanzo

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

• Understanding the difference between 'healthy anger' and 'unhealthy anger' and why it's critical to recognize the boundary line between them
• How mirroring strategies and allowing your partner to express their anger without interruption can help them self-regulate their behaviors
• How our childhood experiences with anger Impact the way we deal with other people's anger in adulthood
• Using deep breathing techniques to keep yourself grounded while receiving someone's anger
• Setting healthy boundaries when someone's anger crosses the line
• Identifying and addressing emotionally, psychologically, and verbally abusive behaviors
• Working with your partner to set healthy boundaries, agreements, and commitments for dealing with each other's anger
• Phrases that can often fuel a person's anger and what you can say instead to help defuse the situation
• How validating your partner's feelings and experiences can help them feel less threatened
• How Robin snapped Corey out of an 'anger fog' by expressing her concern for his health and wellbeing
• Using the practice of witnessing your partner's anger when it's directed at an object
• Retraining your mind and body to respond to anger in a healthier way through visualization techniques
• Preparing ourselves for conflicts in our relationships

Resources Mentioned:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
• The Right Use of Power: The Heart of Ethics by Cedar Barstow

Related Content:

• The Anger Habit

Connect with Corey Costanzo:

• Still Point Wellness
• Still Point Wellness on Facebook
• Still Point Wellness on Pinterest
• Still Point Wellness on Instagram
• Corey Costanzo on LinkedIn

Sponsored by Still Point Wellness

Still Point Wellness is Asheville's premier spa experience. Enjoy effortless relaxation and rejuvenate your body through Still Point's world-class services including Esalen Massage®, Salt Water Floatation also known as sensory deprivation, Cranial Sacral Therapy, and Somatic Psychology. Experience the healing powers of deep relaxation like never before!

Schedule your first appointment by visiting www.StillPointWell.com or call (828) 348-5372.

Mention the code: Pripo to receive 10% off your first Salt Water Floatation or Esalen Massage®!

Let's Talk About It!

Thanks for tuning into this week's episode of Relationships! Let's Talk About It - the show to help you forge deeper, more meaningful connections and relationships with those around you. If you enjoyed this week's episode, please head over to Apple Podcasts, subscribe to the show, and leave us a rating and review.

You can check out the original songs I have sung in my podcast at Pripo's Podcast Songs.

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, contact us. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

Don't forget to visit our website, like us on Facebook at HeartShare Counseling, join our Relationships! Let's Talk About It Facebook group, and follow us on Twitter and Instagram. Share your favorite episodes on social media to help others build better, more meaningful relationships.

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

Spiritual practice is a yearning for many of us. One can certainly feel the desire to renounce the world and live a contemplative life in a secluded monastery. But Zen priest and milkman Jonathon Flaum advises that spiritual growth can be found in the everyday. Echoing the teachings of the Buddhist philosopher Dogen, Jonathon warns us that the seeds of awakening can be cultivated by taking care of what's in front of us, no matter how worldly they may be: from mopping the floors, delivering and organizing bottles of milk, or cleaning a rug full of fur to relating with our life partners, children, and friends.

In this episode, Jonathon and I discuss the insights he has culminated in his practice as a Zen monk and milkman. We discuss what working as a milkman taught Jonathon about taking care of things - and of people. We explore how the practice of Zen can be found in something as mundane as housework and ponder how establishing a relationship with chores helps us relate with people. We also elaborate on the wisdom that could be found in committed relationships like marriage and how - if we remain open - they can give us an opportunity for spiritual awakening.

"The thing about zen practice is we start with relating with very small things, like sweeping the floor. It's about establishing a relationship with the environment and treating them like they matter." - Jonathon Flaum

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

• Bringing the perspective of Zen in the art of relating
• Revering the things around us and how Zen teaches us to relate with small, everyday things
• The wonders of a silent Zen retreat
• Why Zen isn't about perfectionism and how perfectionism can be aggressive
• Bringing the Zen practice to delivering milk and in daily life
• How putting the time and effort to take care of things creates a connection with people
• The subtlety of human relationships and the importance of paying attention to the smallest of things
• The old man, his art, and the value of taking care of what's in front of you
• Cultivating a relationship with chores, the house, and honoring the humans in it
• The difference between cleaning up before and after everyone
• Opening the hand and relating with emotions
• Misconceptions about the Buddhist practice of non-attachment
• Steadying as you go in marriage and the importance of allowing ourselves to get surprised
• Marriage as the spiritual practice and how to see the magic in our partners
• Treating everything equally and Dogen's instructions to a cook

Resources Mentioned:

• Opening the Hand of Thought: Foundations of Zen Buddhist Practice by Kosho Uchiyama Roshi

Connect with Jonathon Flaum:

• Asheville Tiny Temple
• Great Tree Temple

Let's Talk About It!

Thanks for tuning into this week's episode of Relationships! Let's Talk About It - the show to help you forge deeper, more meaningful connections and relationships with those around you. If you enjoyed this week's episode, please head over to Apple Podcasts, subscribe to the show, and leave us a rating and review.

You can check out the original songs I have sung in my podcast at Pripo's Podcast Songs.

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, contact us. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

Don't forget to visit our website, like us on Facebook at HeartShare Counseling, join our Relationships! Let's Talk About It Facebook group, and follow us on Twitter and Instagram. Share your favorite episodes on social media to help others build better, more meaningful relationships.

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

Worrying is a natural inclination. It is inherent in every one of us to want to protect ourselves, our loved ones, and our possessions from harm. Like other emotions, worrying is an element of the human condition that can transform into a detrimental habit when left unchecked. While worrying can show up in our lives and relationships, fashion designer and Artsy Goddess Studio founder Yvonne Rainbow Teplitsky suggests that the key to managing it is to be mindful of our words and emotions when reacting to challenging situations - an insight perhaps derived from our marriage that has seen both joy and worry over the last 25 years.

In this episode, Rainbow and I recollect how worry has shown up in our relationship, what we learned from it, and how we manage it. We discuss how worry is a human impulse and how it can negatively impact relationships. We compare how men and women generally respond to worry. We share our experiences growing up with worriers in the family and highlight the importance of trusting children. We also underscore the differences between worry and anxiety and emphasize the role of authenticity and aligning with our values in alleviating worry.

"Worry is a part of life - the trick is balance and awareness." - Yvonne Rainbow Teplitsky

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

• Worrying about health, providing for the family, and the weather
• The value of trusting how we respond to a situation rather than trying to control it
• Growing up with worriers in the family
• Letting go of a situation that we can't work out
• How men and women experience worry differently
• The difference between processing worry and ruminating or suppressing it
• Dealing with worry and other negative thoughts and feelings
• Our tendency to 'catastrophize' things that don't actually happen
• How children feel their parent's worry and the power of focusing on what we want instead of what we're scared of
• Trusting our children to make good decisions in their lives
• The role of communication in preventing and soothing worry
• Explosive reactions and how they can make your partner be avoidant
• The importance of giving and receiving confidence from each other
• The role of appreciation in building confidence in relationships
• Seeing a UFO on a starry night and the importance of expressing care in worry
• The difference between worry and anxiety
• The power of authenticity and value systems in lifting worry
• Allowing our partners to deal with their worry in their own way

Resources Mentioned:

• Guided Audio Meditations

Related Content:

• Anxiety in Families
• Fatherhood: My Kind of Yoga

Connect with Yvonne Rainbow Teplitsky:

• Artsy Goddess Studio
• Yvonne on LinkedIn
• Yvonne on Facebook
• Email: [email protected]

Let's Talk About It!

Thanks for tuning into this week's episode of Relationships! Let's Talk About It - the show to help you forge deeper, more meaningful connections and relationships with those around you. If you enjoyed this week's episode, please head over to Apple Podcasts, subscribe to the show, and leave us a rating and review.

You can check out the original songs I have sung in my podcast at Pripo's Podcast Songs.

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, contact us. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

Don't forget to visit our website, like us on Facebook at HeartShare Counseling, join our Relationships! Let's Talk About It Facebook group, and follow us on Twitter and Instagram. Share your favorite episodes on social media to help others build better, more meaningful relationships.

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

Safety, trust, and vulnerability. These are some of the pillars of long-term relationships. That is why infidelity could inflict a deep wound within us - for betrayal stands at the opposite end of what relationships stand for: open-heartedness, transparency, and communication. Licensed marriage & family therapist Jennifer Lehr is the founder and owner of WeConcile, through which she helps couples heal from pain and reconnect in their relationships. She stresses that infidelity is such a powerful force that it completely changes a relationship - but through work, transparency, and the willingness to own up to vulnerabilities, couples may be able to reconcile and begin their relationship anew.

In this episode, Jennifer and I explore the different aspects of betrayal in relationships. We highlight the difference between privacy and secrecy and explain how the latter can become destructive to a relationship. We discuss whether the cheated person should ask detailed questions about an affair. We also underscore the role of transparency and vulnerability in healing and reconciliation after a betrayal and emphasize the importance of supporting each other's growth in a relationship.

"Infidelity is a tsunami - it completely changes the landscape of a relationship. Rebuilding is a definite process that involves responsibility and remorse, and transparency." - Jennifer Lehr

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

• The slippery slope of emotional infidelity
• The many forms of betrayal
• Creating safety and trust in long-term relationships
• Taking ownership of infidelity and how defensiveness makes betrayal challenging to heal
• The difference between privacy versus secrecy and their relationship to trust
• The importance of cultivating reliability
• The need for transparency after infidelity
• Why it takes so long to rebuild trust after a betrayal
• Grieving and mourning a relationship after an affair
• Working through patterns and histories of cheating
• Being a grown-up and aligning with our integrity
• How secrecy can be a form of control and manipulation
• Jennifer's philosophy of reconciliation and rebuilding trust after infidelity
• Accepting remorse and how it's different from forgiveness
• Influencing the precipitating factors of infidelity
• The role of a couple's therapist in rebuilding trust in relationships
• How defensiveness creates a break in the progress of healing
• The reason power and control moves are a form of betrayal

Related Content:

• Emotional Infidelity: Is It Really Cheating?
• Having Privacy vs. Keeping Secrets
• Building Trust in Relationships

Connect with Jennifer Lehr:

• WeConcile
• WeConcile on LinkedIn
• WeConcile on Instagram
• WeConcile on Facebook
• WeConcile on Twitter
• WeConcile on YouTube
• Jennifer Lehr
• Jennifer Lehr on LinkedIn
• Jennifer Lehr on Facebook
• Jennifer Lehr on YouTube
• Jennifer Lehr on Twitter

Let's Talk About It!

Thanks for tuning into this week's episode of Relationships! Let's Talk About It - the show to help you forge deeper, more meaningful connections and relationships with those around you. If you enjoyed this week's episode, please head over to Apple Podcasts, subscribe to the show, and leave us a rating and review.

You can check out the original songs I have sung in my podcast at Pripo's Podcast Songs.

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, contact us. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

Don't forget to visit our website, like us on Facebook at HeartShare Counseling, join our Relationships! Let's Talk About It Facebook group, and follow us on Twitter and Instagram. Share your favorite episodes on social media to help others build better, more meaningful relationships.

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

There is something beautiful and affirming about being truly seen and known. To be understood and accepted for who we are, despite our flaws and shortcomings, is a common aspiration in relationships, one which requires us to embrace vulnerability. Greggy Levoy, speaker and author of Vital Signs and Callings, suggests that the choice to show your cards and lower your defenses - despite the fear and anxiety of shame and losing control - is the kind of vulnerability that builds trust and safety in relationships. And when we embrace our vulnerabilities, we open ourselves to healing.

Today, Gregg and I contemplate the power of vulnerability. We discuss vulnerability's capacity to create trust between relationships and encourage others to embrace their vulnerability. We explain how vulnerability feels like weakness when considered from the inside out but looks like courage when examined from the outside in. We describe how we can default to vulnerability through compassion and the difficulty of accepting love and appreciation. We also highlight the healing power of vulnerability and underscore how we can create space for someone when we are on vulnerability's receiving end.

"Vulnerability and trust are intimately related. By lowering your drawbridge, you encourage your partner to do the same." - Gregg Levoy

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

• The relationship between vulnerability and trust
• How embracing vulnerability encourages others to be open with their own
• A communal way of expressing vulnerability
• Why accepting flaws and shortcomings is part of saying 'yes' to a relationship
• Understanding why people hesitate to be vulnerable
• How our childhood experiences with vulnerability persist into our adult relationships
• The importance of considering the recipient of your vulnerability
• Our tendency to equate vulnerability and love
• The sweet moment of being accepted with your vulnerability
• The healing power of revealing and vulnerability
• The role of confession in the therapeutic world
• What it means to have a confiding relationship
• How self-compassion creates strength in moments of vulnerability
• What we need to do when someone opens up about their vulnerabilities
• The human impulse of comforting other people

Resources Mentioned:

• A Natural History of Love by Diane Ackerman
• Love and Survival: 8 Pathways to Intimacy and health by Dean Ornish
• Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brene Brown

Related Content:

• Revealing Is Healing: The Power of Vulnerability by Gregg Levoy
• New Love...Taking Risks to be Real
• The Loss of Touch
• Non-Violent Communication
• Building Trust in Relationships
• Releasing Tension: The Courage to Feel
• Following Personal Passions and Taking Risks Can Nurture Your Relationships

Connect with Gregg Levoy:

• Gregg Levoy Website
• Gregg Levoy on Facebook
• BOOK: Callings: Finding and Following an Authentic Life by Gregg Levoy
• BOOK: Vital Signs: Discovering and Sustaining Your Passion for Life by Gregg Levoy

Let's Talk About It!

Thanks for tuning into this week's episode of Relationships! Let's Talk About It - the show to help you forge deeper, more meaningful connections and relationships with those around you. If you enjoyed this week's episode, please head over to Apple Podcasts, subscribe to the show, and leave us a rating and review.

You can check out the original songs I have sung in my podcast at Pripo's Podcast Songs.

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, contact us. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

Don't forget to visit our website, like us on Facebook at HeartShare Counseling, join our Relationships! Let's Talk About It Facebook group, and follow us on Twitter and Instagram. Share your favorite episodes on social media to help others build better, more meaningful relationships.

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

Practicing yoga can be a stretch for beginners. But while it can put you in a challenging position, did you know that practicing partner yoga as a couple can powerfully impact your relationship? Jenne Sluder is a mental health professional and certified yoga therapist specializing in mind-body approaches to improving mental and physical wellbeing. According to Jenne, yoga is a practice of healing oneself and others. When practiced as a couple, partner yoga can give individuals in relationships an opportunity to deeply connect in a non-verbal way. Couple's don't have to worry about flexibility either. Jenne stresses that partner yoga doesn't have to only be about complicated poses; it can be as simple yet powerful as breathing together and looking into each others' eyes.

In this episode, Jenne and I discuss how couples can bring yoga and mind-body practices into their lives and enhance their relationships. We describe the interactive quality of partner yoga and illustrate what makes it different from other practices of yoga. We highlight the role of self-kindness in mind-body practices and partner yoga. We also explore how couple's yoga can create a space for emotional safety and cultivate the language of intimacy and compassion in a relationship.

"Yoga is a vehicle for intimacy and relationship with your body, with each other, and with the natural world." - Jenne Sluder

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

• Jenne's background and how long she has been practicing and teaching yoga therapy
• What makes partner yoga unique and interactive for couples
• Metaphorically and literally leaning on each other and how practicing couple's yoga can foster relationship trust
• Why Jenne encourages verbal exchange in partner yoga
• Learning the value of consent and getting to know your partner's body through couple's yoga
• How the partner yoga practice can be a safe environment for people to talk about their needs and wants
• Exploring communication and safety through the practice of breathing with your partner
• Reconnecting with your partner after conflict through yoga
• Utilizing mind-body practices to create an energy of care and support in the relationship
• How partner yoga and listening to your partner's body can decrease tension in the relationship
• Coaching couples through the challenges of partner yoga
• How partner yoga can heal a relationship after infidelity and betrayal
• What yoga can teach us about consent
• The role of laughter and joy in partner yoga classes
• The practice of "being with" and the relationship between partner yoga and the power of eye contact
• How yoga practices can bring more compassion for physically-challenged partners
• Jenne's experience with COVID-19 and how partner yoga helped her and her partner navigate the illness

Connect with Jenne Sluder:

• Jenne Sluder Website

Let's Talk About It!

Thanks for tuning into this week's episode of Relationships! Let's Talk About It - the show to help you forge deeper, more meaningful connections and relationships with those around you. If you enjoyed this week's episode, please head over to Apple Podcasts, subscribe to the show, and leave us a rating and review.

You can check out the original songs I have sung in my podcast at Pripo's Podcast Songs.

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, contact us. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

Don't forget to visit our website, like us on Facebook at HeartShare Counseling, join our Relationships! Let's Talk About It Facebook group, and follow us on Twitter and Instagram. Share your favorite episodes on social media to help others build better, more meaningful relationships.

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

Whether we are its origin or its receiver, we all experience anger throughout our lives. While anger isn't necessarily "bad," it is a critical emotion to understand, for what we do with anger has the opportunity to bring our loved ones closer or push them away from us. And like other emotions, we become more accustomed to anger the more we express it without restraint, creating a toxic habit that can lead to contempt in our relationships. Anger becomes more difficult to manage when it becomes a habit, for habits are executed without much conscious effort. Although the anger habit can be hard-wired in a person's brain, bodywork therapist and Still Point Wellness owner Corey Costanzo suggests that a person can break free from anger's chains through awareness, conscious work, and education.

In this episode, Corey and I define anger as the need to be in control of external factors. We reveal how helplessness leads to frustration and, eventually, anger. We highlight different means of expressing anger in a healthy, non-destructive way. We discuss how anger impacts relationships and creates codependent dynamics in family systems. We also uncover the other emotions behind the mask of anger and underscore the power of appreciation as an antidote to the anger habit.

"Anger is an emotional pathway that gets hard-wired in the brain. With a bit of awareness, work, and information, you can shift out of the anger habit." - Corey Costanzo

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

• Anger as an emotional pathway and contraction in the body
• The roots of anger
• Why anger is a false sense of power and how it disempowers other people
• The first door to frustration and how it translates to anger
• A pet pig named Ginger and Corey's recent experience with anger and frustration
• The feeling of justification whenever we express our anger
• How Corey shifted his expressions of anger and frustration
• The difference between feeling your anger versus expressing it without a filter
• How unmanaged anger creates a codependent dynamic in family systems and relationships
• Feelings of helplessness, frustration, anger, and how they all lead to contempt in relationships
• Why anger isn't a bad emotion and how expressing a specific emotion creates more of it
• The value of visualizing our moments of anger
• Creating an environment where we can express difficult feelings in a healthier way
• Sitting with anger and how it's different from ruminating on it
• The power of breath in dissipating anger
• Using anger, frustration, and other challenging emotions as biomarkers to detect the need to shift something
• How anger impacts children, their behavior, and the development of their nervous system
• The different styles of anger and how to manage them through awareness

Resources Mentioned:

• How Anger Affects Intimate Relationships by Randi Gunther
• Headspace

Related Content:

• Emotional Regulation
• Codependency
• Codependency: Ways to Overcome
• The Biggest Predictor of Relationship Failure
• New Love...Taking Risks to be Real
• Relationship Sabotage

Connect with Corey Costanzo:

• Still Point Wellness
• Still Point Wellness on Facebook
• Still Point Wellness on Pinterest
• Still Point Wellness on Instagram
• Corey Costanzo on LinkedIn

Sponsored by Still Point Wellness

Still Point Wellness is Asheville's premier spa experience. Enjoy effortless relaxation and rejuvenate your body through Still Point's world-class services including Esalen Massage®, Salt Water Floatation also known as sensory deprivation, Cranial Sacral Therapy, and Somatic Psychology. Experience the healing powers of deep relaxation like never before!

Schedule your first appointment by visiting www.StillPointWell.com or call (828) 348-5372.

Mention the code: Pripo to receive 10% off your first Salt Water Floatation or Esalen Massage®!

Let's Talk About It!

Thanks for tuning into this week's episode of Relationships! Let's Talk About It - the show to help you forge deeper, more meaningful connections and relationships with those around you. If you enjoyed this week's episode, please head over to Apple Podcasts, subscribe to the show, and leave us a rating and review.

You can check out the original songs I have sung in my podcast at Pripo's Podcast Songs.

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, contact us. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

Don't forget to visit our website, like us on Facebook at HeartShare Counseling, join our Relationships! Let's Talk About It Facebook group, and follow us on Twitter and Instagram. Share your favorite episodes on social media to help others build better, more meaningful relationships.

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

There are many moments in a couple's life that shame and fear show up shrouded in subtlety. While men predominantly feel shame and inadequacy, women tend to go through fear and anxiety. Because of this experiential difference between men and women, it becomes a challenge for couples to understand and navigate the dynamics of shame and fear in relationships. As such, Juan Santos - the owner of Santos Counseling and author of Couple's Workbook: Making Your Relationship Work - recommends that couples seek self-discovery and strive to cultivate an environment of safety where they both can open up to vulnerability in their relationship.

Today, Juan and I illustrate how shame and fear interact and feed off of each other. We discuss the underlying factors of the shame/fear dynamic and describe how societal expectations exacerbate men's experience with shame in adulthood. We explain how childhood upbringing influences the way people navigate moments of shame in their lives. We also underscore the power of compassionate touch in soothing and calming moments of vulnerability between couples and highlight the role of compassion and kindness in the self-exploration of shame and fear.

"We have to do work on ourselves to be able to feel comfortable with witnessing shame, so we know how to make space for others" - Juan Santos

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

• Feeling shameful about feeling shame
• Growing up in a culture of shame and men's experience with shame and vulnerability
• Compassion and empathy as antidotes to fear
• Natural reactions to men's expressions of shame and vulnerability
• Soothing vulnerability through intentional and compassionate touch
• Sexual shame and social expectations of sexual performance
• Being ashamed of not understanding the emotional world
• Providing for togetherness and understanding women's experience with fear
• Decreasing resentment through compassion and connection
• The subtle ways couples shame each other
• Understanding and creating "soft start-ups" to conversations
• The power of visualization in cultivating the kind of people we want to be in relationships
• Why we need self-compassion when we explore and work on our shame
• Making space for others to share their shame and vulnerabilities

Related Content:

• Friendship Breakups

Connect with Juan Santos:

• Santos Counseling
• Santos Counseling on Instagram
• Santos Counseling on Facebook
• Santos Counseling on YouTube
• Juan Santos on LinkedIn
• EMAIL: [email protected]
• BOOK: Life Without Stress
• BOOK: Rebuilding Us: A 30 Day Guide for Healing Your Relationship After an Affair
• BOOK: Couple's Workbook: Making Your Relationship Work

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Let's Talk About It!

Thanks for tuning into this week's episode of Relationships! Let's Talk About It - the show to help you forge deeper, more meaningful connections and relationships with those around you. If you enjoyed this week's episode, please head over to Apple Podcasts, subscribe to the show, and leave us a rating and review.

You can check out the original songs I have sung in my podcast at Pripo's Podcast Songs.

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, contact us. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

Don't forget to visit our website, like us on Facebook at HeartShare Counseling, join our Relationships! Let's Talk About It Facebook group, and follow us on Twitter and Instagram. Share your favorite episodes on social media to help others build better, more meaningful relationships.

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk