Reset With Renee

Renee interviews Danny Conner, a seasoned psychonaut, who has a wealth of knowledge & experience with different medicines.

Both Renee & Danny discuss the importance of "set & setting" as well as continued integration. Ideas of surrender & non-resistance are key to opening to the experience. Cautious & intentional use of any medicine is highlighted versus self medicating or recreational use.

The conversation focuses on the healing nature of the medicines & includes deep dives into the following areas:

For more information about Danny Conner:

https://five-meo.education/

For more information about Renee:

https://resetwithrenee.com/

David Bedrick visited the show to discuss his book "The Unshaming Way" & share insights on embracing emotions, understanding trauma, & setting boundaries.

Embracing Emotions for Personal Growth

Childhood Experiences and Self-Belief Impact

Understanding Natural Essence and Strengths

Understanding and Embracing Boundaries

Emotional Authenticity and Self-Acceptance

Addressing Trauma and Shame in Relationships

Authenticity and Vulnerability in Leadership

They emphasized the need for leaders who can hold space, witness, & share their own struggles & imperfections.

David Bedrick, JD, Dipl. PW, is a teacher, counselor, and attorney. He grew up in a family marked by violence. While his father’s brutality was physical and verbal, his mother’s denial and gaslighting had its own covert power. This formative context introduced David early to the etiology of shame and instilled an urge to unshame.

Professionally, he was on the faculty for the University of Phoenix and the Process Work Institute in the U.S. and Poland and is the founder of the Santa Fe Institute for Shame-based Studies where he trains therapists, coaches and healers and offers workshops for individuals to further their own personal development.

David writes for Psychology Today and is the author of three books: Talking Back to Dr. Phil: Alternatives to Mainstream Psychology and Revisioning Activism: Bringing Depth, Dialogue, and Diversity to Individual and Social Change.

His new book is You Can’t Judge a Body by Its Cover: 17 Women’s Stories of Hunger, Body Shame and Redemption. His new book, The Unshaming Way, was published by North Atlantic books in November 2024.

Links:

Order The Unshaming Way: https://a.co/d/dYTwNa7

Website: https://www.davidbedrick.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/david.bedrick/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DBedrick

Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/contributors/david-bedrick-jd-dipl-pw

YOUR HOST

Find Renee @ResetwithRenee & on her website: www.resetwithrenee.com

Join Renee & others for a journey of growth, healing, transformation, leadership, & evolution in the Reset Collective available on Mighty Networks:

https://reset-gathering.mn.co/share/Z2B41TXYimz0wgrm?utm_source=manual

Renee & Ashley are GenX women who have worked with women for decades wrestling with the challenge of being an Overfunctioning Woman in love with an Underfunctioning Man.

GenX women received the message, “you can have it all” yet the GenX men were NOT taught how to level up their skillset to be in equal partnership.

There is an EPIDEMIC of women carrying the MENTAL LOAD & leading the planning, coordination, & execution of managing family & the home while working, caregiving for children & other family, AND not having enough resourcing.

The Overfunctioning Woman in relationship with an Underfunctioning Man will attempt to:

• Partner

• Problem Solve

• Plan

• Make Bids for Connection.

And she will meet the defensive shield of the Underfunctioning Man, who does not have the skillset or capacity to feel his own feelings. And therefore, he is not available to meet hers either.

His response will likely include:

• Denial

• Dismissal

• Defense

• Projection (turn the tables or “off load”)

Leaving her stuck with overwhelm, unmet needs, self-doubt, anger, resentment, & hurt.

This cycle will “rinse & repeat” until she loses hope & her love is destroyed.

She has experienced “death by a thousand papercuts” & when she is DONE, he feels blindsided.

Women in midlife are being called to RESTORE their personal power & plug energy leaks.

It is NOT selfish; it is self-preservation.

You are worthy. You are NOT crazy. This is textbook.

Emotional safety is a prerequisite for healthy relationships.

To learn more about Dr. Ashley Southard & her work: http://www.drashleysouthard.com/

To learn more about Renee & her work: www.resetwithrenee.com

To join the Reset Collective available for free on Might Networks: https://reset-gathering.mn.co/share/Z2B41TXYimz0wgrm?utm_source=manual

My AUDHD assessment as well as my podcast interview with Tanner Wallace of CPTSD Medicine took place in 2024.

In hindsight, there was much more to say about IFS, CPTSD, & AUDHD.

CPTSD Medicine Podcast Episode/Navigating Neurodivergence

https://open.spotify.com/episode/14OIRSzS0KfCJ7cceOn020?si=JS79kOegQZyoUx-1Y13Cgg

THIS EPISODE: While many neurological differences are hereditary & present at birth, some are acquired. For late diagnosed beings, NOT having this information can be a giant obstacle to living their best life.

IFS is a fabulous model for healing for both populations but alternative perspectives are needed to avoid delay in improvement, hurt & harn, & shame.

If you weren't born with a neurological developmental difference, you can still acquire neurological differences through trauma.

For people with native or acquired neurodivergence, finding neuroaffirming providers is essntial as neurotypical care can create hurt & harm.

Learn how Renee has come to understand how to adapt the IFS model for CPTSD Recovery.

Renee advocates for greater awareness of neurocomplexity & shares more about her journey of discovering her AUDHD on her path towards CPTSD Resolution.

Meet Taylor Damiani:

"Hi, I’m Taylor. I’m a Psychologist and Narcissistic Abuse

Find Taylor At:

website: www.reclaimyougroup.com

social: https://www.instagram.com/taylordamiani

Taylor & Renee Chat About:

Personal Journeys and Healing Work

Taylor and Renee discussed their personal journeys and how they connected through social media. Renee expressed her appreciation for Taylor's work and mentioned an upcoming summit focused on cycle breaking. Taylor shared her own

Taylor's Summit on Healing and Cycle Breaking

Taylor discussed her passion for organizing summits, particularly those focused on healing from narcissistic abuse and cycle breaking. The upcoming summit will explore themes of reconnecting with one's inner self, redefining identity, and becoming a cycle breaker. Taylor emphasized

Themes Discussed:

The upcoming summit, which will take place from December

Renee's presentation for the Summit is on the topic of Resistance & Rejection. Renee wiill offer a follow-up Q&A session for those who purchase the all-access pass.

Register for Cycle Breaker Summit using Renee's Affiliate Link: ⁠https://resetwithrenee.krtra.com/t/IJuO2SNUZEYf⁠

I’m moving through a new phase of recovery & want to share it with you in real time.

This is different for me. I historically wait until I’m “on the other side” of it for neutrality, clarity, & solutions.

I do believe there is value in sharing “what’s real” in real-time. For me, there is freedom in honoring my truth. For others, my hope is that my story continues to serve those who are still searching for their truth. I hope too that in sharing I might help you put your puzzle pieces together too.

My puzzle pieces to date have been understanding Narcissistic abuse & CPTSD recovery.

I’ve made a lot of progress in many ways but there have been many challenges. Adequate support, enough safety, & the environment do matter on a recovery journey.

Listen to learn how I entered the #hsp to #autism pipeline:

Do get assessed or self identify?

What the process was like

Relief & grief as a late diagnosed GenX female

An umbrella of characteristics, gifts, & challenges

Masking & autistic burnout

Lack of neuro affirming providers & why

Co-occurrence with trauma

"Canary in the Coal Mine"

Overdue Reset

Calling in neuro inclusivity & neuro affirming advocacy, support, & resources vs stigma

Learn why Renee believes CPTSD is more common than not!

Lineage/Ancestral Burdens:

1. Inheritances of hurt

2. Frequencies of fear

3. Shadowy survival strategies

Wounding in Your Lifetime:

1. Developmental Trauma (see ACES)

2. Relational betrayals

3. Secondary Traumas

4. The "Collective"

Identify common characteristics of CPTSD survivors.

See Blog: https://resetwithrenee.com/complex-ptsd-cptsd-traits/

How to move forward:

1. Clear out trauma energy to

2. Leave a LEGACY of restoration to wholeness

3. Create a Ripple Effect

RESOURCES MENTIONED: 

1.  Prepare Enrich Couples Assessment:   https://www.prepare-enrich.com/couples/why-prepare-enrich/

--Preparation, Enrichment, Restoration 

--Assess strengths & growth areas with guided support  

2.  HEAL CLASS (Heal Emotions And Relationship Troubles) by Renee Fleming.  Contact for more details.  

3.  Book - Thawing Childhood Abandonment Issues by Don Carter, MSW, LCSW  

4.  Work of John Gottman:  https://www.gottman.com/ 

5.  Dr. Mark Hyman Meme IG:  “The majority of arguments between couples are around 3 main areas – control & power, care & closeness, and respect & recognition.”  

SHOW NOTES: 

NEEDS:  

A. Survival Needs = Basic Needs: food shelter, clothing, medical attention, safety & protection. If a child doesn’t feel safe, then they cannot relax & play; disrupts developmental growth. Protective mechanisms will develop for survival & will become an added burden later in life.  

B. Emotional Dependency Needs = Basic & Primary Needs for Love & Esteem = Time, Attention, Affection, & Direction.  

WOUNDS from “The Past”:  When NEEDS aren’t met and/or something happens or doesn’t happen that should in the absence of support. These wounds HURT & adaptive (defensive, protective, proactive/extreme/reactive) strategies are then developed & repeated.  

Common Emotional Injuries/Wounds:  being controlled, excluded, abandoned, humiliated, neglected, abused, betrayed, rejected, ignored, & disrespected.  

Suggested Partner Conversation: It might be helpful to discuss with your partner, how your families of origin handled or reacted to each of the main ”primary” emotions: mad, sad, scared, & glad. In other words, what was accepted/encouraged & what was avoided/minimized/shamed?  

Self-Check:  Assess what is overdeveloped, underdeveloped, or appropriately skillful….?  

#howtohuman #copingversushealing #whathumansdo #gottman #HEART #wholehearted #cptsdrecovery #innerchild #reparenting #emotionalintelligence #relationshiptips #resetwithrenee #relationshipcoach #naturalstatetherapist #showmestatetherapist #connectinside #ifstherapy #narm #IT

This episode is an endcap to a series on having & healing the Father Wound.

To understand what a father wound is see: https://resetwithrenee.com/understanding-and-healing-the-father-wound/.

In this episode, I follow the 3 part blog on my website to share with you my story & journey as it relates to healing my own father wound.

Our story may be similar or different, but if you have a father wound or experienced something similar, may you find comfort that you are not alone.

It is hard work to be the cycle breaker of generational trauma. It requires a multidimensional approach beyond "talk therapy".

Wholeness, peace, harmony, abundance, is medicine for the heart & soul of someone who knows fear, lack, scarcity, & conflict.

If you think we may a good fit to work together I invite you to reach out for your own RESET.

IFS parts work + an understanding of the 4 Fs of the nervous system (Polyvagal Theory):

as these responses drive protective parts.

Accessing I AM is essential for growth, healing, & recovery.

Bringing help to I HURT parts is key for the whole system.

Learning how to HOLD THE HURT is often hard without a process, practice, & support.

See IG/FB for May 2024 posts on this topic for more information. Drop your questions for me to reply to in future episodes!