We have all done it from time to time.  We have all held a grudge.  Sometimes they don't last very long, and other times they may have lasted several years.  We may even be holding a grudge against someone right now, at this very moment.  How does that feel and show up in our bodies?  How does that show up in our marriage and intimacy?  The stress that comes when we are holding onto the resentment and anger from events of the past, can take a lot of the energy that we may want to be using for something more fun and exciting.  When we put forth real effort to improve our relationships, we end up improving our own personal life during the process.  Listen in as we discuss a few of the signs that show us that we may still be holding onto a grudge, how to challenge our thinking about them, and the best remedy we can give ourselves, as well as to our spouse and our marriage.  

This past week, my husband and I celebrated 19 years of marriage!  Traditional gift giving lists tell us that we should give each other gifts of jade.  But we did not have this expectation of each other.  Unfortunately, many of us have very specific expectations in our mind of how these milestone celebrations "should" go, and then we feel angry when they don't.  This often creates feelings of resentment, and feeling misunderstood or uncared for on these special days, which is probably the opposite of how we wanted to feel.   So, what are we to do?  Listen in as I describe the story of our anniversary celebration, what we did and didn't do, and how taking empowered action can create fabulous feelings early on in our day, adding to the excitement, long before the anniversary celebrations even begin.

We have all seen the scaffolding that surrounds a building when it's being constructed.  We sometimes even get a chance to see the bare bones of what makes the building strong and able to withstand the storms it will have to endure.  And it's interesting that we never expect an unfinished building to be able to cover us when its raining or shield us from the strong winds, because we acknowledge that it is still under construction and incomplete, and cannot perform at its best under those conditions.  And yet, when it comes to our marriage and intimacy, we often expect that our spouse comes fully equipped to handle all of life's challenges and able to make us happy once we have said "I do."  And then, we find that we are mad at them when they can't perform, even though they are still far from complete.  Listen in on today's episode where we talk about how to view our marriage as "under construction," and the relief we can find as we start to think about intimacy as a lovely work in progress, in need of creativity, artistry, and design... because our Heavenly Father is not done working with us just yet, nor is He done building us up.

Do we ever think that our spouse acts in ways that are less than mature?  If so, then this episode is for you.  Listen in as we discuss how maturity is defined and see how we measure up.  We will explore the many ways that these definitions can give us clarity on how WE are being mature, or less than mature, when it comes to the way we are thinking, feeling, reacting, and behaving.  Are WE approaching our spouse in ways that are mature?  We will explore three simple ways to increase our own level of maturity.  And do you know what the best part about that is?  The more engaged you are in expanding your own skills, the more opportunities you end up giving your spouse to do the same. ..all without having to try to force them to do so.   It's a total win-win! 

Do you know the signs of being jealous of your spouse?  This is not something we usually think about or even realize may be at work, slowly sabotaging our marriage.  In today's episode, we will explore two clues of jealousy so that we will know how to recognize it, and then intervene when it shows up.  We will discover how the words covet, envy, and jealousy are connected and then consider that the commandment to not covet is a caring and considerate preventative measure, allowing us to keep our relationships on solid ground.  And finally, we will end with a beach story of me and my sister-in-law, both faced with the same situation at different times, and the results that came to each of us as we handled things in two very different ways.  Listen in as I explain the beauty of what I observed in her decision, the deep impression it had on me, and how it forever changed the way I now look at similar situations for the future.  Thanks, sis! 

Have you ever felt like your spouse was just too moody?  Have you ever felt like your spouse's mood had too much of a negative effect on you?  Well if so, you won't want to miss this episode.  Listen in as we discuss how moodiness is defined, the good and the bad, the negative and the positive.  And just maybe, moodiness will start to cross your mind in a whole new way.  Challenge your own thoughts on how moodiness effects you and your marriage and decide now how you want to handle it moving forward.  

Have you ever been bugged by something your spouse does?  On my family's latest road trip across Texas, I was reminded of something my husband does that has bothered me every time we start off on a long adventure.  Leaving this unaddressed in the past has just led me to feeling negative for the first few hours of the trip.  But this time, I decided to let love lead the way and seek genuine understanding of this particular mannerism.  Listen in as I explain the 3 steps we can take to approach these little pet peeves with a sense of wonder and how it can contribute to a natural desire to feel closer to our spouse.

What do we do when anger shows up in our marriage?  Do we handle ourselves in a way that is mature enough to allow our relationship to continue growing, even when we are feeling angry?  When we feel the emotion of anger, we often react, or overreact, in a way that we later regret.  Sometimes, our reactions even add a layer of hostility to the relationship, where we actually seek to hurt one another, keeping us stuck in a negative cycle.  And when the notion that something has "gone terribly wrong" in our marriage simply because anger has shown up, we may find that we push anger down and bottle it up, afraid to feel it at all.  But today's episode will invite us to dig a little deeper and to strive for a higher way of managing it.  Listen in to discover how to better navigate our anger from a life coaching perspective, allowing us to level up in a surprisingly deep and personal way. 

It's the beginning of a brand new year, and this is when we seem to hear quite a bit about making new year's resolutions and setting goals.  And then we find that by the end of January we have already left them behind.  Many times this is simply because we are missing a few key ingredients to creating an awesome goal with greater staying power.  Listen in on today's episode where we will discuss why adding Massive Action to your marriage and couples' goals could make all of the difference.  We will also review to SMART goal making system that helps us set up goals that are attainable and measurable.  And finally, we will discuss the value of addressing the specific obstacles that have stopped you from accomplishing your goals in the past and what you can do about it.  What do you want your marriage to look like one year from now?  Let's get to work on that with these key components involved, and get to reaching those goals!