Return to Heart

What happens when the body you live in becomes something you're ashamed of?

In this episode of Return to Heart, Jeff Schulte and Phil Herndon discover that they carried remarkably similar wounds from opposite sides of body shame. Jeff grew up believing he was too skinny. Phil grew up ashamed of being overweight. Different bodies—but underneath, a remarkably similar message: something is wrong with me.

Jeff and Phil explore body image, body dysmorphia, toxic shame, comparison, self-objectification, and the complicated relationship we can develop with our physical bodies.

They also examine something deeper: what can the way you see your body actually cost you? From opportunities never pursued to overtraining, self-contempt, and years spent comparing yourself to others, distorted beliefs about our bodies can shape far more than what we see in the mirror.

How do we care for our bodies without worshiping them? How do we acknowledge what we see without allowing appearance to define who we are? And how do we begin telling the truth about the person inside the body?

In this episode:

• How childhood body shame can follow us into adulthood

• What body dysmorphia actually means

• The connection between body image, identity, and toxic shame

• How comparison feeds self-contempt

• How parents can talk honestly with children about their bodies

• Why we can objectify ourselves without realizing it

• The opportunities body shame can cost us

• Learning to live honestly in the body you've been given

Tin Man provides coaching, mentoring, consulting, and offers guidance to those who want to recover the life they've lost and discover the life they desire, by learning to live from the heart.

Learn More: www.tinman.org

Work can be meaningful, productive, and deeply fulfilling. But what happens when work becomes the place where you find your identity, escape difficult relationships, or prove that you are worthy of being loved?

In this episode of Return to Heart, Jeff Schulte and Phil Herndon explore the emotional roots of workaholism and performance addiction. They discuss how achievement can provide powerful feelings of affirmation, attachment, control, and relief—and why those rewards can make overworking feel almost impossible to surrender.

They also examine the difference between healthy, God-given work and using work to avoid the vulnerable relationships where genuine connection, rupture, repair, and intimacy are formed.

Work is a gift. But it was never intended to carry the weight of your identity, or replace the people you were created to love.

Tin Man provides coaching, mentoring, consulting, and offers guidance to those who want to recover the life they've lost and discover the life they desire, by learning to live from the heart. Learn More: www.tinman.org

What if taking care of yourself isn't selfish—but necessary?

In this episode of Return to Heart, Jeff Schulte and Phil Herndon continue their conversation about what it means to be needy humans who are learning to live honestly before God and with one another. They explore the difference between genuine self-care and escape, why our attempts to rest can sometimes become ways of numbing ourselves, and why real replenishment doesn't always feel good in the moment.

Tin Man provides coaching, mentoring, consulting, and offers guidance to those who want to recover the life they've lost and discover the life they desire, by learning to live from the heart.

Learn More: www.tinman.org

What does Jesus actually mean when He says to us “deny yourself”?

For many Christians, that phrase can quietly become something much harsher: My needs don't matter. Wanting to flourish is selfish. Taking care of myself is ungodly. Everyone else should always come first.

Jeff Schulte and Phil Herndon unpack what “deny yourself” actually means—and why denying your ego may be very different from denying your humanity.

Tin Man provides coaching, mentoring, consulting, and offers guidance to those who want to recover the life they've lost and discover the life they desire, by learning to live from the heart. Learn More: www.tinman.org

Have you ever wondered why certain people stay with you—even long after they're gone? Or why a simple object can instantly bring back powerful memories and emotions?

In Part 2 of this conversation, Jeff Schulte and Phil Herndon build on last episode's discussion about sentimental objects by exploring the deeper truth behind them: it's never really about the object—it's about the relationships they represent. Through Scripture, neuroscience, and personal stories, they unpack why God instructed Israel to build memorial stones, how healthy attachment shapes our lives, and why we were created to carry meaningful relationships with us.

In this episode:

• Why God told Israel to build memorial stones in Joshua 4

• How memories, emotions, and relationships become deeply connected

• The neuroscience of "brain synchrony" and why we never truly walk alone

• Why keepsakes matter—and when it's healthy to let them go

• How attachment helps us flourish in our relationships with God and others

Tin Man provides coaching, mentoring, consulting, and offers guidance to those who want to recover the life they've lost and discover the life they desire, by learning to live from the heart. Learn More: www.tinman.org

Why is it so hard to throw certain things away? Sometimes it isn't about the object at all—it's about the relationship it represents.

In Episode 25 of Return to Heart, Jeff Schulte and Phil Herndon explore why keepsakes, heirlooms, gifts, and even a weighted vest can carry profound emotional meaning. They unpack the psychology of attachment, grief, memory, and connection while showing how ordinary objects can reveal extraordinary truths about our hearts.

In this episode:

• Why sentimental objects become emotionally significant

• The difference between healthy attachment and unhealthy hoarding

• How grief, memory, and relationships shape what we keep

• What physical objects reveal about our emotional lives and our relationship with God Timestamps

Tin Man provides coaching, mentoring, consulting, and offers guidance to those who want to recover the life they've lost and discover the life they desire, by learning to live from the heart.

Learn More: www.tinman.org

Sex addiction is rarely just about sex.

In this conversation, Phil and Jeff are joined by Greg Oliver, co-founder of Awaken Recovery, to unpack what addiction really is, why pornography is more powerful than many people realize, and why lasting healing never comes through willpower alone.

They explore the neuroscience of addiction, the role of shame, the importance of emotions, why intimacy is so much bigger than sex, and why genuine connection is one of the greatest antidotes to compulsive behavior.

Whether you're struggling personally, walking alongside someone who is, or simply trying to understand how healing actually works, this conversation offers both honesty and hope.

• What sex addiction really is
• Why pornography rewires the brain
• The connection between shame and addiction
• Why intimacy is more than sex
• The role of community in recovery
• Why confession brings healing
• Helping the next generation navigate pornography
• How parents can become "transitional characters" who break generational cycles

If this conversation resonates with you, don't stay isolated. Healing begins when we stop carrying our struggles alone.

What happens when the person you trust most becomes the source of your deepest pain?

In Episode 23 of Return to Heart, Phil sits down with Stacey Oliver of Awaken Recovery to discuss betrayal trauma, recovery after sexual addiction, attachment wounds, codependency, and the long road toward healing.

Drawing from her own story, Stacey shares what it felt like to discover hidden betrayal, why so many partners ignore their intuition, and how healing often begins by finding safe people who understand your pain.

Whether you're navigating betrayal yourself, supporting someone who is, or trying to understand how trauma impacts relationships, this conversation offers hope, wisdom, and practical insight.

In this episode:

• Why betrayal by "your person" hurts so deeply

• The role of denial and self-protection in relationships

• How attachment wounds shape our choices

• What betrayal trauma feels like physically and emotionally

• Why healing requires community and support

• How recovery can create healthier relationships than before

Resources:

Awaken Recovery

https://awakenrecovery.com

What We Really Want podcast

https://awakenrecovery.com/podcast

Roots Retreat: Men’s Recovery Intensives and Women’s Workshops

https://awakenrecovery.com/intensives

Tin Man provides coaching, mentoring, consulting, and offers guidance to those who want to recover the life they've lost and discover the life they desire, by learning to live from the heart. Learn More: www.tinman.org

Sexual addiction impacts far more than the person struggling—it affects marriages, families, trust, and emotional health.

In Episode 22 of Return to Heart, Greg and Stacey Oliver share their deeply personal story of addiction, disclosure, betrayal, recovery, and redemption. Their honest conversation offers practical hope for couples facing difficult realities and reminds listeners that healing is possible, even when life feels shattered.

Key Takeaways:

• The difference between sex and true intimacy

• Why addiction often develops in secrecy and isolation

• How betrayed spouses experience trauma and recovery

• What faith, community, and honesty can do in the healing process

Resources:

Awaken Recovery

https://awakenrecovery.com

What We Really Want podcast

https://awakenrecovery.com/podcast

Roots Retreat: Men’s Recovery Intensives and Women’s Workshops https://awakenrecovery.com/intensives

Tin Man provides coaching, mentoring, consulting, and offers guidance to those who want to recover the life they've lost and discover the life they desire, by learning to live from the heart.

Learn More: www.tinman.org

What if the single most important thing you can do for your children isn't a parenting strategy?

In this episode of the Return to Heart Podcast, Jeff and Phil explore a powerful truth: the best parenting doesn't start with your children — it starts with your own heart.

Key Takeaways:

• Why emotional presence matters more than parenting techniques

• How unresolved wounds can shape the way we parent

• The danger of expecting children to fill our emotional needs

• Why healing your own heart is the greatest gift you can give your kids

Tin Man provides coaching, mentoring, consulting, and offers guidance to those who want to recover the life they've lost and discover the life they desire, by learning to live from the heart.

Learn More: www.tinman.life