What if the way many of us were taught to grow spiritually actually cost us intimacy with God?

In this episode of Return To Heart, Jeff and Phil explore a story that shaped decades of faith, discipleship, and emotional disconnection—beginning in a Yale dorm room in 1980 and unfolding into a powerful conversation about facts, feelings, faith, and how God actually designed us.

Through vivid metaphors—the chalkboard, the train, the chair, and even a man riding an elephant—this conversation challenges the idea that spiritual maturity means suppressing emotion. Instead, it invites listeners into a fuller, relational faith where truth about God and truth about ourselves belong together.

This episode is for anyone who:

1. Knows the “right answers” but still feels distant from God
2. Was taught that emotions are dangerous or unspiritual
3. Feels spiritually mature yet relationally disconnected
4. Wants a faith that includes their whole heart

This is not about abandoning truth.

It’s about learning how truth actually transforms.

Most of us have spent a lifetime becoming right-leg dominant — relying on intellect, morality, and sheer willpower to survive life. But, the parts of us designed for intimacy, connection, and vulnerability? Those got left behind.

In this episode of Return to Heart, we unpack one of the most transformative metaphors we’ve ever used:

👉 The right leg and the left leg.

Drawing from tens of thousands of hours working with men and women, we walk through why so many of us feel spiritually “stuck” even though we know the right things and work hard to do them. We also introduce Emotions Unveiled, a discipleship tool designed to reawaken the parts of your heart God built for connection.

✨ In this episode:

• Why intellect, morality, and hard work aren’t enough

• The meaning of being “right-leg dominant”

• Rediscovering the “left leg” — the emotional, relational side of life

• How Scripture gives emotional language for healing

• Why emotional maturity fuels spiritual maturity

• The structure and purpose of Emotions Unveiled

• Stories of transformation through emotional discipleship

Alignment isn’t about perfection — it’s about returning home to who God made us to be.

In this episode of Return to Heart, we explore the final stage of the transformational process: alignment—stepping out of hiding, confronting shame, receiving acceptance, and rediscovering our God-given identity.

Through honest storytelling, real-time vulnerability, and examples from Scripture—including the Prodigal Son—we unpack how alignment flows naturally from admission, acceptance, attunement, and healthy attachment. We also share personal stories of stepping out of the “closet,” facing old narratives, and allowing trusted relationships to realign us with truth.

If you’ve ever felt out of sync, unseen, or unsure where you belong… this episode is for you.

✨ Topics we explore:

• What alignment really means in spiritual and emotional life

• How relationships help us heal shame and rediscover identity

• Why correction and confrontation only work when love comes first

• The power of acceptance, attunement, and attachment

• Real stories of stepping out of hiding and into who God made us to be

• What Jesus models for us through compassion, attunement, and restoration

Welcome back to the Transformational Process series. In this episode, we explore one of the most healing and redemptive steps in the journey of spiritual and emotional recovery: Acceptance.

Following last week’s conversation on Admission, this episode dives into why acceptance is essential for wholeness, how it restores connection, and why we cannot grow without relationships that meet us with “Me too.”

You’ll hear vulnerable stories, theological insight, 12-step wisdom, and practical pathways toward embracing acceptance in your own healing story.

🌟 What You’ll Learn

• Why acceptance is the turning point of healing
• How grief, powerlessness, and honesty open the door to transformation
• The connection between acceptance, the prodigal son, and the body of Christ
• Why shame keeps us disconnected — and how acceptance unravels it
• Real stories of acceptance in recovery, marriage, friendships, and community

How this step prepares the heart for next week’s topic: Atonement

In this raw and honest episode, the Tin Man team — Jeff, Todd, and Phil — explore the power of admission: the moment when life’s pain and exhaustion become too heavy to carry, and we finally come to ourselves.

Drawing from the story of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15, they discuss why our lowest moments often open the door to healing, how shame and fear keep us from being honest, and why confession is a communal act — not a solo one.

✨ What you’ll hear in this episode:

- The transformational process: from brokenness to wholeness

- Why “admission” is more than confession — it’s awakening

- How rock bottom moments become grace

- What it means to find safety, honesty, and healing in community

Addiction isn’t only about substances—it’s about survival. In this powerful conversation, we reveal how our need for connection can twist into compulsions that look acceptable on the outside but exhaust us on the inside. From food to phones to ministry itself, we expose the subtle ways we try to escape loneliness, fear, and shame.

You’ll hear how dopamine, shame, and “chunking” shape addictive cycles—and how genuine connection breaks them. This episode is raw, redemptive, and full of practical hope for anyone caught in performance or perfectionism.

✨ What you’ll hear in this episode:

- Addiction as a response to codependency and exhaustion

- The neuroscience of dopamine and “chunking”

- Why the opposite of addiction is connection—not sobriety

We’re made for attachment—but many of us learned to survive by not attaching. Jeff and Phil explore how early abandonment, toxic shame, and fear train us to confuse intensity for intimacy, and what it looks like to regrow our “Velcro” in real relationships. You’ll hear a son who stands his ground, friends who travel to grieve with—and why the four S’s (seen, soothed, safe, secure) matter so much.

From marriage and parenting to friendship and faith, this conversation names the risk of staying present, the comfort of being known, and the long, grace-filled work of becoming attachable again. Includes a practical journaling exercise to map your primary attachment figures and where you long to reconnect.

✨ What you’ll hear in this episode:

• Why we mistake intensity for intimacy—and how to tell the difference
• The “Velcro” metaphor: sliding off vs. sticking, and learning to stick again
• A live picture of secure attachment in conflict (“I’m staying”)
• The four S’s of secure attachment: seen, soothed, safe, secure
• Friends who practice with-ness in grief
• 
  
• A simple exercise to begin re-attaching where it matters most

In this episode of Return to Heart, Jeff and Phil explore the meaning of attunement — the deep, relational connection that allows us to truly be seen and known. Through vivid metaphors, a humorous moment at the symphony, and heartfelt stories about parenting, marriage, and faith, this conversation shows how attunement brings restoration, combats loneliness, and invites us back to the heart. Whether you’re navigating family relationships, spiritual growth, or simply longing for deeper connection, this episode offers hope and practical wisdom for the journey.

✨ 

You’ll hear in this episode: 

• Why attunement is essential to human connection. 
• A touching story of Jeff and his grandson learning to sit with sadness. 
• How marriage reveals the challenges and beauty of vulnerability. 
• And, the role of faith in healing toxic shame and restoring relationships.

In this episode of Return to Heart, we unpack the difference between healthy and toxic shame, how childhood abandonment shapes the stories we tell ourselves, and why God calls us back to live unashamed and loved.

Shame was never meant to define us, yet many of us carry the lie that our needs make us “too much,” “not enough,” or “unlovable.”

Together, we explore:

• The biblical picture of healthy shame in the Garden before the fall
• How abandonment leads to toxic shame and distorted identity
• Why children ask “What’s wrong with me?” instead of “What’s wrong with them?”
• The lifelong effects of toxic shame on relationships, work, and faith
• God’s invitation to live unashamed and loved

If you’ve ever struggled with feelings of inadequacy, rejection, or the belief that you are the problem, this conversation will bring clarity, hope, and a path toward freedom.

What is abandonment, really? At its core, it’s this: “I needed you, and you weren’t there for me.” Whether it’s parents, friends, coaches, or even people who were in the room but emotionally absent, abandonment leaves a mark on all of us.

You’ll hear:

• The simplest and most powerful definition of abandonment
• Why the brain registers abandonment the same way it registers physical pain
• Stories of how abandonment shows up in everyday life
• The difference between naming what happened and blaming the people involved
• How even Jesus’ disciples panicked at the thought of being abandoned

Abandonment is part of the human story—but so is healing. By learning to name our stories without blame, we can begin to move from hurt toward hope.