"If Only". 

A phase of convenience, of excuse, of hoping to shape the world where everything goes our way. It is also this sad phase that made us unwilling to work for things. This hope of a silver lining gives us a reason to wait out for things that might even happen, or even the absurdity of all criteria to align like stars that are never meant to cross.

In this episode, I'd like to talk about how we (or rather, I), use this phase so often to push things off, to not work on it and just to... simply, wait. And how I should stop waiting and start living.

Recently I'd been up to alot of work; drowning in them infact. I have lost so much time for myself, from gaming or leisure time, I find myself stepping into the life of a workaholic. It makes it worse when my work can get very result base when it comes to sales.

However, all is not lost as I find myself embracing more responsibilities, from paying more and helping out my family, to using the capital as resources to further grow my passion project which I didn't have. 

I'm so grateful that our book club has finally taken flight and we are now on our first ever read together session! Finished this book and decided to try doing a one-take review and afterthought on this piece of work. A work of thriller that kept me on the edge, I'm glad to have tried out this book that gave me more takeaway than the stories and narratives itself as I embark on a journey of self-discovery while I question the sophistication of our human language. Are we not evolved enough to express ourselves? or are we simply just living behind a mask? Who are we and what do we actually know? Humans are such complex creatures and when it comes to narrative, how much of it do we think we have control over and how much do we actually manipulate, be it the truth or the omission. As a murderer, how do they balance on the scales of letting the world know of their crimes but not actually getting caught?

Little did I know that my eyes would lit up that brightly from a call with my boss, decided to record this episode right after the phone call and I feel so excited to have find that we have the same pages for some of our dreams and goals.

If you'd have to know Eugene is also a fellow wanderlust, backpacker and traveler which made me jump on board in the first place, and I'm glad that his little side project have woken up the dreamer in me. 

So back to passion; I feel that there's so much to explore in this episode, as I talked about things I like and dislike, my strength and weaknesses within each task, and understanding them, being aware, and noting down what makes us glow. 

Here's to growing towards our better selves!