Rye Off The Bat

In this episode I’ll explore my concept of “filler episodes” in which represents activities or days that are just simply as literal as it is; without anything that would push me as a character forward. The tendency to procrastinate, to seek distraction and to stay in our comfort zone would always be there. And we have to make conscious effort to bring ourselves out of them.

Exploring the feeling of my tendency to rely or even over dependent on another person. This episode explores yet another part of my vulnerability; and how I grew up not feeling that I belong, constantly telling myself people would eventually leave.

I’ll like to take this episode to talk about several issues that I identify that may be problematic with me for holding out for the wrong person. From thinking that she would change to fitting her in my narrative, I have the tendency to be selfish yet selfless in an emotionally unhealthy way that is bad for my mental health. This is yet another triggering episode as I dig deeper inward my heart.

This is a short episode to tell myself because I was having an anxiety attack for talking about too much about my personal stuff. It’s suffocating to have people listening live, voices of them judging you and seeing some commentary that can be very opinionated. I took a step back and decided to ground myself with this one.

Similar to not holding onto your friends, some times we shouldn’t hold onto things too tight; or get too attach to people. Sometimes the wrong person won’t stay too long in your life and the right person won’t leave. The Universe would have their strange ways of guiding you, showing you the way of being a better person… for yourself.

Decided to react and read out this poetry that I’d concocted awhile ago. It was before Warwick’s first rework. It’s interesting to see how Warwick changed over the course of time, to something really different from Zaun to eventually potentially the loving father figure from Netflix’s Arcane; Vander. I’ll also briefly share abit on the other league of legends related works that I’d written across my time. Maybe sometimes it’s nice to create game related contents? A lighter poetry juxtaposing my trigger warning guitar poetry.

In this special episode I decided to do a one take free style poetry, talking about what I feel, singing perhaps what brings me here. The winds of depression, mental health how I slog through life with the different baggages not being able to find wholesome with the whole insecurities and self hatred. I want to be strong, and thus… I sang. It took me a long time before deciding to post this, I’m always conscious. But I guess we never know until we do. And I feel… why not? A leap of faith could sometimes… land you into happiness.

In this episode, I’ll look at and discuss my toxic patterns of my tendency to be in love, loving the wrong person but as funny as fate would allow; them being life changing. It’s funny to see how all the girls in my collective made their mark this way, and have been proven by the stars. I’ll also discuss and dig deeper into my roots of doing so.

In this round of writing reacts, I decided for read, react and share more stories about how I craft the personality behind Jeju for my Her collective; where I personify cities I’d been. Here I’ll be sharing the portion of the truth, where each part came from and the little easter eggs of my experiences when I’m traveling.

Diving deeper with my experience using the Pattern as I discovered some shocking revelations about my bond and the concept of how I see love. I’d a tendency of falling in love with a certain type, and how it affects me and my mental health.