Ok kids, you want the truth?!? Your artwork sucks, your bedtime story is annoying, if you don’t eat your dinner you won’t actually shrink until you disappear, Santa ain’t real, ditto the Tooth Fairy. Mommy’s phone has plenty of battery but you still can’t watch it, the park is open, but we ain’t going. You need to wear your coat bc I care more about what strangers think of my parenting than your personal preferences, the condom broke, ETC. ETC. See, children? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!! And neither can we, which is why we fib to our kids alll day long. Listen up as we tell the truth about all our lies. UGH!