We sat down with Rev. Benjamin Cremer, writer, pastor, and creator of Into the Gray, to talk about what it looks like to hold sacred anger with open hands.

This conversation stretched from “What if I’m wrong?” to “How do we keep from passing our pain along?” We talked about retributive vs. restorative justice, how lament can heal our nervous systems, and why gentleness might just be the most radical form of resistance.

Ben reminded us that curiosity is a spiritual practice, lament is a sacred protest, and gentleness—far from weakness—is creativity at its finest.

KEY TAKEAWAYS: 

• Curiosity loosens fear. It moves us from I know you’re wrong to What if I’m wrong?
• Sacred rage has a direction. Aim your anger at harmful systems, not at the people trapped inside them.
• Lament is how we stop passing pain. Naming grief in community transforms rage into healing.
• Gentleness is courageous. It interrupts the cycle of violence and control with creativity, humor, and love.
• Correction comes after connection. Whether in parenting, faith, or community—belonging comes first.
• Tradition is living faith. Traditionalism is the dead faith of the living.
• Transformation is slow work. Small acts of connection and compassion still change the world. 

WHY THIS EPISODE MATTERS: 

Because so many of us are carrying a mix of grief, anger, and exhaustion—and trying to figure out what to do with it.

This conversation names that ache and gives it language. It’s an invitation to move from bitterness to belonging, from outrage to imagination.

If you’ve ever felt burned by religion but still long for the sacred, if you’re learning to parent or protest differently, or if you’re craving a spirituality wide enough to hold lament and love—this one’s for you.