Save Your Bacon

Zane has a revelation about a man who claims to have witnessed every single day go to heaven, and Will reminisces in spooning watermelons daily.

2:32 - The Chips Mystery

10:07 - If You Fail, I Don’t Get Drunk

14:34 - Garden Revenge

20:48 - Thick Striped Shirt

33:17 - All Pizza Goes To Heaven

42:46 - Being More Granola

Gather round in the Cool Cats Jazz Club filled with music so sharp it cuts Will's audio in half for pieces of the podcast! Will finds out how helpful chainmail armor can help chefs, and Zane explains how rough squatters really have it! Pay me, I’m Geoffery, and I gotta beat those greedy kind-hearted bozos.

2:17 - What’s Shakin’

11:03 - You’re Doing Grate

21:06 - The Cop Long-Con

26:19 - The Eternal Squatter

34:06 - Sweet Prince Sixteen

40:19 - Give To Geoffrey

Zane describes why a hamster would thrive within the suburban lifestyle, and Will skips school but not because he’s Static Shock or anything. Did you know that Bill Gates’ is just a prank master?

1:45 - My Battery Fridge

8:12 - Stonepeckers

14:34 - Bill Gates’ Greatest Prank

22:31 - How ATMs Are Born

34:11 - My Neighbor, The Hamster

41:16 - Static Shock Skips School

Will talks about the understandable times you can't take off a pair of socks and choose to wear them a second time during the day, and Zane ponders the concept of humans having to keep their toilets on leashes! Hey, Zane has had a stupidly busy week and didn't edit this episode at all so get ready for 50 straight minutes of no touch-ups!

1:22 - Chili-O's

7:29 - My Son Is A Mannequin

13:58 - A Hard Bidet's Work

24:12 - Sleepsocking

32:44 - Knock On Opossum

43:32 - Shape of Toilet

Zane explains how to make everything in the world smell like vanilla, and Will reveals the final the master secret behind what makes Stan the smartest man in the world. Ever just wanted to hike and never see your kids again and do no tax things ever again and be a yeti?

1:49 - Breast of Friends

11:42 - That Mint Boy

19:33 - First Time Swearing

30:14 - Vanilla Suds

36:35 - My Dad, The Yeti Tax Evader

44:10 - Breast of Friends Part 2

Will fills your joy-hole with the odd knowledge of showering after baths, and Zane lays out the basics of how to tell if your professor is doing cocaine every day. Did you know that everywhere in the world thinks it’s weird how much the USA love peanut butter?

4:29 - Karaoke Night

11:29 - The Love Child of Ant-Man, Danny Devito, and Optimus Prime

18:43 - Filling Your Shower Joy-Hole

27:22 - The ‘Roos Ruse

33:35 - Professing Kindness, Not Love

40:14 - Spoiler Revenge

45:32 - Does My Teacher Do Cocaine?

Zane gives you the perfect tip on how to turn your hair into a Venus fly trap, and Will argues why he deserves a free murder through his “grape analogy”. Did you know that yawning is really a minor case of the Black Plague?

2:02 - Meat Lovers Anonymous

6:24 - What Are Buildings So Torn Up About?

10:03 - Blueberry Girl

20:24 - The Beige Plague

26:43 - Free Complimentary Murder

33:12 - The Hair For All Your Manager Needs

39:22 - Reverse Werewolfing

Will accidentally released the extinct Sabertooth Tiger back into society, and Zane reminisces about the marvelous struggle the dog "Ole' Faithful" went through to create the geyser he floats atop: Ole' Faithful.

1:19 - Fate of the Rampaging San Andreas Skyscraper

9:34 - All Hunter's Net Traps Hunt In Packs

15:21 - Bring Back Larger Chickens

19:38 - Will Sets His House On Fire

28:39 - Arrested For Being A Bad Actor

33:03 - The True Story Behind Ole' Faithful

Zane realizes how awkward it would be if a man in his mid-30s was competing against the kids in Willy Wonka for his chocolate factory, and Will talks about how disappointed his dad was in him for throwing up after drinking too many 5 hour energies. Do you even slightly know how terrifying a duck with teeth is?

00:34 - The Ants and the Bees

02:52 - Bill Wonka

09:28 - How To Train Your Duck

15:26 - Celebrity Crushes and Chicatsky

27:10 - Laying Down Means An Open Mouth

38:06 - Having a Stomach-to-Stomach

46:13 - 50-Hours of Energy

Will explains the existence of werewolves and the moon's gravity, and Zane literally marries a Digiorno pizza. How ballsy is it to call a demon a nerd directly to their face? Not ballsy at all. Freakin' nerds.

00:53 - Cinnamon Twisted Tales

2:09 - My Morning Digiorno Pizza

7:54 - The Center of the Universe Inn

12:25 - Fight Clubbing Yourself

18:21 - Our Inner Wolf Hairs

26:08 - Quit Being A Demon, Ya Nerd

35:05 - Zane-Level of Sexiness