Say The Things

Do you have people in your life that approach tasks, work, chores completely different from you? Some people seem to get lost in the process, process people and others are happy when the task is complete, end-result people . Which one are you? What's the difference? What are some pros and cons of both?

Connect with me during the week on Instagram @NicoleHagman_Writes

Ever start the day full of yes, hope, activities, dreams and creativity and then barely make it though the day not accomplishing a fraction of what you hoped? Are you a victim of decision fatigue and don't even know it's existence? This episode discusses decision fatigue, how to recognize it, and ways to overcome it.

Parole Story based on William Palmer in California.

Resources mentioned in episode:

Greg McKeown; Essentialism

Cultivate What Matters: Powersheets

Danielle LaPorte: Desire Map

James Clear: Atomic Habits

Podcast on Decision Making: The Next Right Thing by Emily P. Freeman

How do we see ourselves, do we know the adjectives we use to describe ourselves or do they change with our mood? Self-concept matters. We discuss three aspects of self-concept, how the way we see ourselves is influenced and some ways to determine yours if it's been a while since you've thought about who you are.

Quotes:

"Each of us, whether we realize it or not, has a self-image. We see ourselves in some way - smart, slow, kindly, well-intentioned, lazy, misunderstood, meticulous or shrewd; we can pick adjectives that describe ourselves. This is the "I" behind the face in the mirror, the "I" that thinks, dreams, talks, feels and believes, the "I" that no one knows fully."

"Photographers often slip a reddish filter over the lens when snapping pictures of clouds on black and white film. The filter prevents some of the light rays from reaching the film so the final picture shows much darker skies and more sharply whitened clouds. The self-concept is like a filter that screen out what we do not want to hear and see, passes through what we do want to see and hear. In the reverse direction, it gives an idiosyncratic flavor to our behavior. Don't we usually pick our name out of a jumble of words on a page? Or hear our name announced at an airport amidst all the other announcements we fail to hear? This is called selective listening, and it is a function of our self-concept. Thus how we see ourselves determines generally what we react to, what we perceive, and in broad terms how we behave in general."

Paul Brouwer, The Magazine November 1964

"There is nothing worse than the clear image of a blurry concept." Ansel Adams.

"The best way to change yourself is to know yourself. So dive in deep through the swamp and clear waters and say hello to the person you've been hiding all along." ~Wattney

Resources:

Carl Rogers: Three aspects of self concept:

Michael Argyle 4 factors that influence self-esteem:

https://www.simplypsychology.org/self-concept.html

Bruce Bracken - Six Domains of Self-concept:

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-self-concept-2795865

Tests and Assessments:

https://positivepsychology.com/self-concept-questionnaires-activities/

2021 as arrived. 2020 gave us a lot, was scarcity mindset one of the take-aways? Let's dare to dream of what more looks like, find space and time for living and loving a life we want. Shift from scarcity to abundance.

Ralph Waldo Emerson quotes:

"We become what we think about all day long."

"What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you."

"Write it on your heart

that every day is the best day in the year.

He is rich who owns the day, and no one owns the day

who allows it to be invaded with fret and anxiety.

Finish every day and be done with it.

You have done what you could.

Some blunders and absurdities, no doubt crept in.

Forget them as soon as you can, tomorrow is a new day;

begin it well and serenely, with too high a spirit

to be cumbered with your old nonsense.

This new day is too dear,

with its hopes and invitations,

to waste a moment on the yesterdays."

― Ralph Waldo Emerson, Collected Poems and Translations

"Don't keep me alive to keep me from living." Lou Holtz

"Some poor, phoneless fool is probably sitting next to a waterfall somewhere totally unaware of how angry and scared he's supposed to be." Duncan Trussell

5 signs you have a scarcity mindset:

https://www.powerofpositivity.com/5-signs-you-have-a-scarcity-mindset//

@JonAcuff post of Duncan Trussell quote https://www.instagram.com/p/CITmr7YsRhy/

Shirt from good hYOUman

"Silence is a virtue". What does that mean? Silence feels like tortue, what is the value? Listen and explore some of the benefits silence has for our brain and stress levels.

The Weaver and the Loom.

Go In and In: Poems From the Heart of Yoga by Danna Faulds

Brain, Structure and Function - 2013 significance of silence on mice.

Marianne Williamson says "When we answer the call of our own heart, we help awaken the heart of the world."

Dr. Fiona Kerr, Founder and CEO of NeuroTech Institute in Adelaide, Australia

"There comes a time when the world gets quiet, and the only thing left is your own heart. So you better learn the sound of it. Otherwise you will never understand what it's saying."

Sarah Dressen "Just Listen"

Urgent things shout, important things whisper. Listen to the whispers. ~Ken Groen

2020 has highlighted the need to celebrate and be intentional with acknowledging accomplishing milestones big and small. Some celebrate the small things with ease, others dive into holidays with festive hearts. Where do you fall? Who in your life lives and celebrates with ease?

Quotes:

"When we give ourself treats, we feel energized and cared for; and contented, which boosts our self-command - and self-command helps us maintain healthy habits."

~Gretchen Rubin Better than Before

"We've got to stop and celebrate one another and our victories, no matter how small. Yes, there's more work to be done, and things could go sideways in an hour, but that will never take away from the fact we needs to celebrate an accomplishment right now."

~Brené Brown, Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts.

We are nearing the first day of winter, a season that's fairly polarizing. What is the purpose of winter, what can we learn from nature? If you practice yoga, what is the purpose of savasana? How do we feel about rest and restoration, not for others and not sometimes; but for ourselves, regularly. Join me as we discuss the purpose of rest and surrender in our lives, do we really understand it?

"He that can take rest is greater than he that can take cities." Benjamin Franklin

"Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is time for home." Edith Sitwell

"The light of winter is the poetry of patience." ~unknown

"Winter is a season of recovery and preparation." Paul Theroux

"Sometimes nature appears in whites so we can color it with our dreams." ~Angela Rexario

"If I lay here, if I just lay here. Will you lie with me and just forget the world?" ~Snow Patrol

"Surrendering doesn't mean you're weak. Surrendering means you are wise for accepting what is and strong enough to trust what will be. " ~Wattney

@Wattneypoetry on IG

https://www.amazon.com/Black-Sheep-Wattney-Lander/dp/1687569908/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=wattney&qid=1608214624&sr=8-1

"Savasana is the absence of all patterns - neurological, emotional and physical. It is the ultimate release of the known and unknown world, where awareness is all that is left, without the illusion of the separation of the seer. The world as a whole appears without the subject of 'I'" ~Rodney Yee

"Your definition of desirable and undesirable as well as good and bad, all come about because you have defined how things need to be in order for you to be okay.

The part of you inside that's not okay with itself can't face the natural unfolding of life because it's not under your control.

Decide not to fight with life. Realize and accept life is not under my control. Life is continually changing and if I try to control it, I'll never be able to fully live it."

"The Untethered Soul" by Michael A Singer.

Life is full of opportunity to withdraw or engage. Are your responses intentional or reflexive on the effort you put into your commitments and relationships? Learn to be curious on what makes us want to disengage in life, activities, responsibilities and relationships.

"The pose begins when you want to get out of it." ~Baron Baptiste

Carol Dweck: Mindset: The New Psychology of Success

"Steve (her husband) said, 'I don't know. I really don't. All I know is that my life is better when I assume that people are doing their best. It keeps me out of judgment and lets me focus on what is, and what should be or could be.' His answer felt like truth to me, Not an easy truth, but truth."

~Brene Brown, Rising Strong

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

― Theodore Roosevelt

Self-compassion, showing kindness to oneself. How are we doing with this? My inner critic has quieted, but there's little kindness and I watch the lack of softness for myself play out in front of me. Today, we discuss self-compassion and ways to add it to our day.

Research based off

Dr. Kristin Neff -

self-compassion.org

https://self-compassion.org/the-three-elements-of-self-compassion-2/

https://self-compassion.org/tips-for-practice/

"Children have never been good at listening to their elders, but the have never failed to imitate them."

~James Baldwin

What's one way you can start implementing self-compassion into your daily routine?

There are so many benefits to gratitude. Today we discuss research from Robert Emmons about myths of gratitude. The benefit of developing a practice of gratitude and 8 ways to be more grateful.

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/profile/Robert_Emmons

Intro story is a Chinese Proverb alerting us to be cautious labeling events blessing or a curse. What seems like a blessing may be a curse. What seems like a blessing may be a curse.

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