Says Who?

*yawns* 

*blinks* 

Oh hello, SaysWhovia. Have you been there all this time? Dan and Maureen have just woken up. They are in separate places—separate times, in fact—but neither seems to have left noddy-noddy-slumberland. Can you blame them? It’s 2020. Let’s all go back to bed.

But we can’t, can we? There is too much to discuss. The New Hampshire primary! The end of the Yang Gang! Joe Biden’s Wild Ride! And Iowa…what even happened there? No one knows.

Also, criming! So much crime. It’s open crime season. Just get out and do your criming in the full light of day. Trump is now all puffed up with power and is going about punishing the people who tried to defy him. You know, like an autocrat! It’s really bad! So let’s all get into the SaysWhovia napping yurt and have a nice snooze.

Don’t hog the blanket. We all need the cover.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Hey ho, SaysWhovia! Did you like last week? Did you? That was a week, right? A week in which time seemed to collapse into a single point. The singularity of bullshit. It was something else.

The impeachment trial has ended. Long live the impeachment trial. Dan is now finished with impeachment.fyi and his self-imposed 130-day stretch of total impeachment immersion. He’s fine. He’s absolutely fine. Don’t you worry. But before we get to that, we have to get to all the other things that happened at the same time, like Brexit, the State of the Union, and Iowa.

Yes, Iowa. The home of the caucus—the thing that none of us really get. Iowa had one job—give us the first point of information on the 2020 map. It’s like the groundhog of politics. And Iowa stood up, spun around fifty times, and then passed out. Iowa will go on forever. Long live Iowa.

And then, of course, we do need to talk about the impeachment and the State of the Union. Because that was all happening at the same time too. Did you forget? It’s just noe big event, SaysWhovia, and we’re in it. Together.

Grab a corn dog. This may go on for some time.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

What a week! Maureen was on tour. Dan was handling the impeachment! Everything went great!

Errrr. Well. Maureen went on 2/3 of a tour, then Things Went Wrong. Dan has been trapped in his basement, watching endless hours of Senate testimony. Both have made choices they regret.

But! What news? The defense has wrapped in the Senate trial, and now we are on to questions. And a little gnome named John Bolton popped his mustachioed head out of his hidey-hole and said, “Mayyyybbbbe I know something about this…” Will witnesses be called? Will Dan be doing impeachment.fyi for a billion more years? And Maureen has thoughts on book publishing.

Most importantly, we get to the matter of a White House dinner, and a very special moment for Says Whovians.

Grab a fork and sit down. It’s time to eat.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Look, there's a lot going on. Today Dan was consumed by the impeachment trial which officially began and Maureen was consumed by the release of her new book The Hand On the Wall which officially came out.  It's just a waves hands in all directions kind of day in a waves hands in all directions kind of week, month, year, take your pick. 

Anyway, Maureen wants to talk impeachment and Dan wants to talk about her book and then actual breaking impeachment news happened in the middle of their conversation and they had to puzzle through it in real time. 

Come, see how the sausage is made on this episode of Says Who. 

And pick up Maureen's new book! It's very good!

PS. Dan wrote all this at 2 in the morning and has to keep one eye closed to see straight so who knows if it's actually understandable. Blue Apron!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

When we last left Dan and Maureen, they were, like most people, kind of freaking out because oh no surprise war. But then everyone kind of forgot or something and anyway, here we are, SaysWhovia! 2020 is clearly trying to make itself known, to show it is different and weirder than 2019. We don’t know what that means either.

But soft! There is much goodness. Dan has many tales of Says Who U. Maureen has a charting method to help you with your moods. You might need these things, because we are going into impeachment land again! And debate land! The holiday slowdown is over and all the systems are coming back online.

And Maureen needs to tell you about a horse she met. A horse that got into a house.

Saddle up, SayWhovia. We ride at dawn

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Jeepers, 2020 got off to a start.

Dan and Maureen are back for thee first 2020 podcast, and they are…well…a bit uncertain how to address what the first seven days of the new year have been like. Spicy? Eventful? Something else?

But they have made personal strides. Dan has discovered the joys of the bullet journal. Maureen is getting things done and having strangers over to the house to help! Lots of strangers. Some with strange tales. In fact, the more she thinks about it, the more questions she has. Maybe it is best not to think about it.

And, of course, we are back on the impeachment train! Dan is hard at work cranking the impeachment,fyi back into action. John Bolton steps into the spotlight. The show is about to start. Does Dan have regrets? Maybe.

But also, things are hard and dark. Harder and darker than they've been. Sayswhovians, we know. We feel it too. 

There is also a very moving story about a bonsai tree, and a real life Blue Apron encounter.

Keep your hands and your arms inside the 2020 at all times. The ride is about to begin.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Should all Trump’s tweeting be forgot
And never come to mind!
It’s 2020 now my scrotes
Let’s leave that shit behind!

Yes, Sayswhovia, it’s a new decade! That was easy! We just woke up one day and, BAM! New decade! What did we learn in this last week of 2019? We learned that SaysWhovia is the best, that Trump is very bad at giving gifts, that Presidential libraries are weird, and that 2020 will have a spicy start.

But Dan and Maureen are also feeling reflective. There are many good things to take forward into the roaring twenties. It’s time to get our new slogan for the year, make our resolutions, and find out what’s under the Nixon bowling lane.

Raise a glass, SaysWhovia!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

We did it! It’s happened! TRUMP HAS BEEN IMPEACHED!

And now…

Well. For a start, Dan is broken. He’s been working in his workshop day and night, watching the hearings, making crafts for good SaysWhovians, and going ever so slowly insane. He sleeps in a pile of cardboard and printed out transcripts. Maureen watched a bunch of it, but not all. Together, they work out what it all MEANS.

Trump has been taking it well. He’s been writing letters and having rallies. Dan and Maureen look into the Impeachment night rally. Trump has thoughts on toilets and dishwashers, which leads Maureen into a digression so deep a cave diver wouldn’t follow her in. But perhaps you will, SaysWhovia.

Let’s break it down, together.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Grab a plate, SaysWhovia. Dan and Maureen have been busy cooking up some news and are ready to dish it out. What would you like? Some hot, buttery Trump leaving NATO after getting picked on? Got it. We’re passing around some FBI documents, if you want to grab a few. Would you like some UK election news on that? Let us pour some on. We’ll be slicing up the impeachment any moment.

Which is our way of saying, it’s a lot. We’ve got it. But more importantly, we’ve got flushing, Tic Tacs, Irish Spring soap, and orange makeup from Switzerland. There’s so much here, it will take 10 to 15 flushes to get it all down.

Apologies. Dan and Maureen don’t make the news—they just talk about it. One must eat what one is given.

Tuck that napkin into your collar, SaysWhovia. Let’s eat. Because it’s going to get weird after this.

***

Dan's tracking impeachment news and sending out updates every day. Sign up at impeachment.fyi

Watch Let it Snow, based on the book co-authored by Maureen out now on Netflix!

Maureen's book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW!

Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Jingle, jingle, SaysWhovia! Dan and Maureen had a few issues getting the recording done this week. Dan threw a pair of scissors, then the internet broke, like, twenty times. So our friends are not as well as they might be. But it’s all fine, for this is the season of glad tidings and joy. That is what Maureen is here to remind Dan. Dan has other things to remind Maureen.

He wants her to know, for example, that Rudy’s son has a job at the White House as a sports consultant or something. And that Trump needs glasses. But mostly he wants to tell her about the impeachment proceedings, and how they are going. In the last few weeks,  twelve witnesses  testified. Twelve! Like the days of Christmas! And if Maureen had more juice in her caboose right now, she might even try to write lyrics for the Twelve Days of Christmas with the witness names pinged in, but she does not, SaysWhovia. Because Dan told her more things. He told her how he thinks things are going as we careen toward the end of the year and this phase of the proceedings and towards 2020 and the Senate and the election and…

…well, it’s all fine, SaysWhovia. Get yourself a cup of cocoa and sit yourself down. Tuck yourself under this nice blanket. We will do this together.
 

***

Dan's tracking impeachment news and sending out updates every day. Sign up at impeachment.fyi

Watch Let it Snow, based on the book co-authored by Maureen November 8 on Netflix!

Maureen's book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW!

Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!

Join the listener-created SaysWhovia Minecraft server by going into multiplayer->add server and adding sayswhovia.mcph.co

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho