Schlock Treatment

An impromptu “Dawson’s Week” month (really a fortnight, but you get it) continues with a totally razor Katie Holmes-starring piece of 90s Kidz-Bop-cinema. This week, we indulge in some violent, slut-shaming, hormonally-driven… Disturbing Behavior! Matt and Doug rework Shanghai Dawn to an even higher stage of perfection! Matt breaks down the movie soundtrack, with songs … Continue reading Treatment 229 – Disturbing Behavior →

Come join us all you varmints and the like as we cover our first movie named after a baseball team. This isn’t a sports movie though, it’s a Western starring James Van Der Beek, Usher, and Ashton Kutcher. It’s the made in 1998 but released in 2001 Texas Rangers! Matt and Doug reveal a slew of new … Continue reading Treatment 228- Texas Rangers →

We’re early this week, you filthy, thieving, non-ethnically descriptive mooks, because of time sensitive material (see below). It’s a more star heavy guest-laden episode than the entire The New Scooby-Doo Movies combined! Join me, Abby Denson, Brian Juergens, and Jonathan Valuckas as we face the curse that is… Thinner! Someone earns their most pervy guest … Continue reading Treatment 227 – Thinner →

Listen up, you no-business, born-insecure, junkyard suckas! We’re out of Beverly Hills, and into South Central Los Angeles, but we didn’t come alone. Riding shotgun on this journey is Guy Pinnland, AKA Marcus Pinn of the Pinnland Empire! We’re gonna put our weight on it, when we tackle the Nerve-shattering …Brain-battering …Mind-splattering… The Human Tornado! … Continue reading Treatment 226 – The Human Tornado (aka Dolemite 2) →

Doug Frye is missing this week which means that Matt has had the bright idea to finally bring the world the long awaited third episode of Podcast Dudez. May God have mercy on our souls. He decided to go rogue and instead of covering Master of Disguise…again, he was going to do Beverly Hills 90210- … Continue reading Treatment 225 – Podcast Dudez Episode 3- Beverly Hills 90210- S4E25 The Time Has Come Today →

Space, the final frontier, and Matt and Doug have now been on a nearly five year mission. We’ve never  had a close encounter like this before, though, except that one time in the Hood. Join us as we journey beyond the rim of the starlight, as we vivisect… Leprechaun 4: In Space! Matt and Doug … Continue reading Treatment 224 – Leprechaun 4: In Space →

Sometimes little kids are kids and sometimes little kids are robots. Today we learn how to break down the differences with the acronym-themed D.A.R.Y.L.! Matt tells all about his dad’s many-pocketed leather fanny pack! Doug tries to spice up the film by adding Ernest into the mix! Next week: Space, the final frontier…for Leprechauns. Leprechaun 4: In Space

The return of Kirk hails one of the most inexplicable movies we’ve ever seen. It’s only natural (by his standards) that Kirk brings us the weirdest stuff, and this time it’s… Contemporary Gladiator! Kirk kicks into deep Anthony “Amp” Elmore knowledge! Matt breaks the story on Don Imus’s long lost twin brother! Doug taps into … Continue reading Treatment 222 – Contemporary Gladiator (aka Iron Thunder) →

It’s the end of the world as we know it and we feel totally ambivalent! That’s because nuclear war has hit Kansas City but there wasn’t that much going on to begin with. It’s not today, it’s not yesterday, it’s The Day After! Matt laments the 15 minutes of establishing shots of Kansas City using the … Continue reading Treatment 221- The Day After →

We move out of the light of day into the nighttime world of intrigue and espionage (which, in this case, mostly happens in the daytime). It’s a moped-speed chase after this week’s Treatment… Moving Target! Matt and Doug SHOOT the breeze about golf, squirrels, and Crazy Daisy! Matt sings a MOVING tribute to a certain foxy … Continue reading Treatment 220 – Moving Target →