Screw Up

"I only ate maybe half of it again."  Everyone!  Hello!  How do you be grateful?  With turkey, family, and inexpensive electronics (down with Black Friday, power to the workers!) - oh, and maybe this podcast?  This week, we talk about Thanksgiving...kinda (it's actually a lot about Doritos)!  Emma paints with all the colors of her wind...pipe (stretch, bear with me), CJ regrets never eating dog food, and we share our gratitude for YOU - our listeners!  We're so thankful you're here, and stick around for even more gratitude and podcasting!  Pass the cranberry sauce and tell Grandpa that saying that IS racist even if he thinks it sounds nice, it's time for Screw Up the Thanksgiving! LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK •Rate •Review •Subscribe •Comment •Like •Love? •Email us @ [email protected] •Follow >Twitter, IG, & YouTube< LISTEN ON •Spotify •Apple Podcasts •Google Podcasts •Overcast, •PocketCasts •RadioPublic •Breaker •Castbox, •Anchor.fm •& more!

"I want a turducken, but in like, a Wet Seal outfit."  My body, my canvas!  This week on Screw Up the Podcast, we're talking about slingin' ink and poundin' skin!  If you guessed sex with quills, you're oddly somewhat correct!  Tattoos!  CJ talks about manic episodes leading to bean fingers (it'll make sense with context, I hope), Emma comes out of the closet as library-sensual, and both of us believe that there should be NO REGERTS when it comes to getting a tattoo!  Love yourself, even if you have a tribal tattoo!  We don't care!  We aren't your mothers!  Screw Up the Podcast: Not Being Your Mom Since 2021.  Thanks for listening!  LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK •Rate •Review •Subscribe •Comment •Like •Love? •Email us @ [email protected] •Follow >Twitter, IG, & YouTube< LISTEN ON •Spotify •Apple Podcasts •Google Podcasts •Overcast, •PocketCasts •RadioPublic •Breaker •Castbox, •Anchor.fm •& more!

Hey Screw Crew!  This week, we're taking a break to get some things together for our big 50th episode coming out in a few weeks!  So let's revisit an oldie but juicy Screw Up the Gambling! "I like the color of your name." Big money, all whammy?  This week, Emma and CJ talk about everyone's favorite source of passive income: gambling!  We talk about being enticed into hopping in cars with strange men and heading to the warm paradise of Indiana, slots, and how Vana White can fill OUR slots any ol' time!  Time is money, so take a gamble on your time and see if you'll like this episode!  LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK •Rate •Review •Subscribe •Comment •Like •Love? •Email us @ [email protected] •Follow >Twitter, IG, & YouTube< LISTEN ON •Spotify •Apple Podcasts •Google Podcasts •Overcast, •PocketCasts •RadioPublic •Breaker •Castbox, •Anchor.fm •& more!

"I clogged it out of my belly button." Welcome to Screw Up the Piercing, the episode where we talk about making holes in ourselves!  This week, we become D.W. apologists, we climb Jacob's Ladder, Emma does Old Testament math because she can't count with her hand anymore (details inside!), and CJ tells a story about how accidentally dressing in baby drag got him outed by a drunk woman with candy. Grab your coupon for Claire's and get emotionally manipulated by a man with an iguana - it's time for Screw Up the Piercing!  LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK •Rate •Review •Subscribe •Comment •Like •Love? •Email us @ [email protected] •Follow >Twitter, IG, & YouTube< LISTEN ON •Spotify •Apple Podcasts •Google Podcasts •Overcast, •PocketCasts •RadioPublic •Breaker •Castbox, •Anchor.fm •& more!

"You know always keep that thing on me.  And by thing, I mean mouth."  Hey Screw Crew!  Is there anything better than a couple o' BOOS and some Charleston Chews?  How about multiple uncomfortable stories about creating smells?  This week, we've got a special Halloween episode for y'all!  We talk about Stephanie Meyer's suspiciously powerful ability to rouse a nation of twinks and tweens, CJ is unambiguously ambiguously gay, and Emma tells a hair-raising (and singing) tale about deceit, a room of shared stink, and loving yourself.  I don't remember eating candy corn - it's time for Screw Up the Podcast, Halloween Edition! LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK •Rate •Review •Subscribe •Comment •Like •Love? •Email us @ [email protected] •Follow >Twitter, IG, & YouTube< LISTEN ON •Spotify •Apple Podcasts •Google Podcasts •Overcast, •PocketCasts •RadioPublic •Breaker •Castbox, •Anchor.fm •& more!

"Or, it would just be Jeff Goldblum and his big, giant dick!" [Note: we tried another new setup for recording, so CJ's audio is a wee borked this episode, we're trying to find the sweet spot and appreciate your understanding!] This week on SUTP, CJ and Emma are reunited to talk about parties!  We for some reason discuss the first Pokemon movie for ten minutes, pinpoint the moments we lost our youth, discuss debt for a bit (again, what??) and Emma has an interesting take on the drinking age being 21.  Stay tuned for our next creative project, "Mad Boys."  Flip your friend on your stomach and break out the Sativa, it's time for Screw Up the Party!  LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK •Rate •Review •Subscribe •Comment •Like •Love? •Email us @ [email protected] •Follow >Twitter, IG, & YouTube< LISTEN ON •Spotify •Apple Podcasts •Google Podcasts •Overcast, •PocketCasts •RadioPublic •Breaker •Castbox, •Anchor.fm •& more!

TW: This episode covers sexual assault and other sexual conduct that could be difficult to listen to.  Please take care while listening or skip this episode if need be - we love you Screw Crew, be good to yourselves.  

"Isn't being funny the real privilege?"  This week, Emma goes solo and talks about the complexities of being a woman on birth control.  She talks about the unbalanced responsibilities of birth control, unhealthy relationships with churches and biases, and gets incredibly personal and intimate in a conversation about giving and living life.  She also encourages solidarity and empowerment for women everywhere to be in control of their lives and bodies and includes resources on how to be a better ally to the women in your life.  Another powerful episode of Screw Up the Podcast - Screw Up the Birth Control.  LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK •Rate •Review •Subscribe •Comment •Like •Love? •Email us @ [email protected] •Follow >Twitter, IG, & YouTube< LISTEN ON •Spotify •Apple Podcasts •Google Podcasts •Overcast, •PocketCasts •RadioPublic •Breaker •Castbox, •Anchor.fm •& more!

"This uncle is...pretty gay."  Welcome one and all to another rousing episode of Screw Up the Podcast!  This week, we're not just stealing the spotlight, but also your hearts, and maybe your purses!  But don't worry, we'll never get away with it, because of meddling kids, like us!  In this week's episode, CJ wears a thong to be a trailblazing feminist (and a hot bitch!), Emma needs to be bleeped for the first time ever, and we both discover that we're too pure to be cool.  Break your child's piggy bank for bail money, it's time for Screw Up the Podcast! LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK •Rate •Review •Subscribe •Comment •Like •Love? •Email us @ [email protected] •Follow >Twitter, IG, & YouTube< LISTEN ON •Spotify •Apple Podcasts •Google Podcasts •Overcast, •PocketCasts •RadioPublic •Breaker •Castbox, •Anchor.fm •& more!

"I want someone in the Pentagon to figure out whether or not I have colon cancer." This week, Emma and CJ talk about going and having sex with yourself already!  We talk about our choices for the only songs we can listen to for the rest of our lives (off-topic?  on brand!), pegging, sounding, fisting, having hot greasy sex with yourself, and of course, what it's like to expose your sexual deviancy to a bunch of strangers accidentally!  Twist yourself into a comfortable position in that sex swing and lube up that 3-inch angry dildo you got as a gag gift; it's time for Screw Up the Sex Toy! LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK •Rate •Review •Subscribe •Comment •Like •Love? •Email us @ [email protected] •Follow >Twitter, IG, & YouTube< LISTEN ON •Spotify •Apple Podcasts •Google Podcasts •Overcast, •PocketCasts •RadioPublic •Breaker •Castbox, •Anchor.fm •& more!

TW: This episode covers mental illness, binge eating, self-harm, and intrusive thoughts, so please take care while listening or skip this episode if need be - we love you Screw Crew, be good to yourselves.  <3

"If emotions are horses, then moods are the chariot."  In an atypical episode in many ways, CJ discusses his new diagnosis as someone living with rapid-cycle bipolar 2.  He talks about what it's like to look back on a life that cried out for help, future plans to mitigate and protect his life from the disorder, and what you can do to be a beacon of light to yourself and others when it comes to mental health.  Please note that while this episode has a different tone, CJ does try to make himself, and hopefully you by proxy, laugh a few times.  Believe in yourselves, because weakness is the new strength - it's time for Screw Up the Podcast!   LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK •Rate •Review •Subscribe •Comment •Like •Love? •Email us @ [email protected] •Follow >Twitter, IG, & YouTube< LISTEN ON •Spotify •Apple Podcasts •Google Podcasts •Overcast, •PocketCasts •RadioPublic •Breaker •Castbox, •Anchor.fm •& more!