Segment City

COME ON DOWN TO DANNY’S BIG GAME WAREHOUSE WE GOT ALL THE SWEET DEER AND JUNK THOSE HUNTERS GO CRAZY FOR YOU CAN WRITE THIS AS A BUSINESS EXPENSE OK BYE NOW

This week on the podcast Will and Theo ponder the nature of friendship and come away the closer for it. Theo brings another installment of Food Drama, this time featuring some favorite Disney characters, as well as bringing Will back to the Taxidermy shop. Will brings a whole bunch of year end stats for you nasty folks from PornHub detailing the global trends.

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Worth it. 

This week on the podcast, Theo and Will talk about their favorite sauces, Starbucks’ failing chicken sandwich, the boys disagree about how good the Reese’s Big Cup with Potato Chips sounds, Theo goes over the mysterious and conspiratorial history of the Denver International Airport, and Will takes us into the SpOoOkY “Monsterous Matches” series by Lilian Lark including “Stalked By the Kraken”, “Deceived By Gargoyles”, and “Entranced By the Basilisks”.

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As a world we’re seeking alternative energy sources, but one often overlooked option is Pure Bean Energy. This is a clean energy source entirely produced by when someone has an overwhelming desire to stockpile beans in the case of disaster.

This week on the show, Theo and Will discuss their favorite summertime activities, and Will takes us through a Wikipedia Historian covering the Lizard Man Constant. Theo brings a report of food related relationship drama, as well as a deep dive on the failed Broadway show Spider-man: Turn Off the Dark.

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“I’m the one who knocks… and tells you that your antivirus software needs to be renewed. Does anyone have some meth?” This week on the podcast, the boys talk about hot/cold weather people, some of their best and worst jobs, Theo takes us through the insane life of John McAfee from his founding of the antivirus software that bears his name to his multiple failed presidential runs to his inevitable arrest, and Will takes us through the very strange Dylatov Pass Incident in which a group of Soviet hikers died in mysterious circumstances that have led to equally strange conspiracy theories!

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In Earth, Wind, and Fire’s hit song “Fantasy” the lyrics begin:


Every man has a place, in his heart there's a space

This is of course referring to name brand orange juice which millennials can only dream of one day affording. We hope to eventually get there.

In this week’s episode, Theo brings food news regarding eating various foods in the shower, and a report of a man who beat a horse in a foot race. Will shares news of a man who inadvertently consumed enough pot gummies to pass out, and one of the grossest Amazon eroticas to date.

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It’s a bit of a cliché, isn’t it? The mad scientist killed by their hubris in a very literal way by their own invention. It is not a universal thing though. I mean, the guy who made the whoopie cushion hasn’t been launched into space from one exploding. So maybe these scientists should be working less on things that can explode at any point and work more on fart based engineering.

This week on the podcast, the boys talk about a wedding Will recently went to, tall discrimination, some “As Seen on TV” products (including one fake one) including the “Potato Express”, “Cream Fast”, and “EZegg”, Will goes over some inventors that were killed by their own inventions, Theo goes over the history of the “Norwegian Butter Crisis”, and Will lists the top 10 “Florida Man” stories of 2020.

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Mariah Carey wants a lot of things for Christmas, and first and foremost should be a pizza cookbook because apparently she has no idea what goes into making a pie.

This week on the show Theo brings an article about Pepsi’s newest offense to mankind — Pepsi-roni Pizza, and also takes us back down to visit the Taxidermy shop. Will also comes bearing pizza news, about the Pizza Cupcake which promises to reinvent the delicious pie. We’re still wondering if it needed reinventing. He also has a great selection of Amazon erotica to explore.

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Yes, this is an unofficial index. Yes, it is used by a government agency. No, it is not the Waffle House Committee for Indecent Syrup Usage. And no, it is not for how much gastro-intestinal distress you will be in post waffle house trip, nor how drunk you have to be to go to Waffle House at 2am. 

This week on the podcast, Theo and Will talk about liking their body odor, stories from a Steampunk festival Will went to, Theo tells the tale of Johan de Witt who was a Dutch prime minister and the “Year of Disaster” (aka the “Year of Pants”) under his rule and his grizzly fate, Will goes over some strange syndromes and metrics including “Uncombable Hair Syndrome”, “The Truman Show Syndrome”, and “The Waffle House Index”, Theo goes over why Taco Bell’s Mexican Pizza Tik Tok Musical is an insult (at least to the person who wrote the article).

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“Excuse me sir, I think you may have accidentally taken my coffee — they called the name ‘Leader of the Party, the country, and the Army’ and that’s me.”

“WHAT?! How dare you insult me! This is an OUTRAGE! The only way to settle this… is with a balloon duel!”

“Uh I just wanted my coff—“ 

“BALLOON DUUUEEEELLLLL”

This week on the show, Theo brings forward the ongoing controversy surrounding the ‘vein’ on a Snickers bar, and Will tells the tale of Frenchmen balloon dueling. Also, Theo quizzes Will on his knowledge of Snoop Dogg, and Will lists all of Kim Jong-il’s titles (there are a ton).

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“This Sunday’s Eucharist has a great flavor profile. Notes of… crispy cracker with a hint of… nutmeg? Or is that just the flavors of our Savior? 10/10, great work Christ.”

This week on the podcast, the boys talk about lemonade stand boys, what strange food combinations we don’t get, Theo asks “Are They the A**hole?” with stories from r/ AmITheA**hole with stories of fake drunkenness to avoid babysitting and a bratty bride who doesn’t allow plus ones to her wedding, Will takes us back in time to when Pepsi once owned the 6th largest army in the world, Theo takes us into the nightmare news that Jerry Seinfeld’s Pop Tart Movie is happening, and Will gets dark, spooky, and a lot naughty with “Amazon Erotica” where he covers the “Gang of Ghouls” series by Eva Chase where a wacky, cooky, crazy woman with her 4 ghost lovers go on a murder spree while being little bit ghoulish *winky face*

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