Segment City

This week on the podcast Theo and Will ponder hunky esports athletes and Theo tests Will with a game of Is This the Onion? featuring Criminal Mischief and talks through the Pusha T and Arby’s collab no one was asking for. Will brings a Wikipedia Historian about the moan heard around the world, and quizzes Theo on the best games made for each console generation.

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“Order in the court! If God will not present himself or herself or itself then we cannot have a trial-” said the Judge.

“It is I who shall have order for I created the order of all things.” God said, descending from the sky.

“Well paint me yellow and call me a bee, it really is the Almighty. While you are in court, you must abide by my rules.”

“No being shall be above me. For such heresy, I shall give you what I call ‘The Ol’ Sodom and Gomorrah’.”

Anyway, so that’s my pitch for the beginning of the New New Testament.

This week on the podcast, Will calls Theo out, Theo talks about a man who saved thousands of dollars only eating at Six Flags, Will takes us on a Legal “Wikipedia Historian” covering “Lawsuits against God”, “The Matrix Defense”,“The Wookiee Defense”, and “The Shaggy Defense”, and Theo takes us through Video Game movies from worst to best MetaCritic score.

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Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

When I say Sweet Cheesy, you say Pints! SWEET CHEESY! …. What? You weren’t asking for Kraft Mac and Cheese ice cream? Well too bad!

On this week’s episode, Theo and Will discuss the merits of savory ice cream and whether young people have ruined yet another great American treat. Will takes us through a round of wild international political slogans, and we take another trip down into the dungeon to visit the Taxidermist. Will rounds it out with an edition of Amazon Erotica featuring Crime High, where there are no rules. Well, actually there are some rules. You’ll have to listen to find out.

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Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

“Yes!”

This week on the podcast, the boys talk about pie rankings, Bo Burnham’s “Inside”, bathing in carbonated water, answering the question “Am I the a**hole?” with stories of a father find a daughter’s pornographic career and a father firing his son’s girlfriend for talking at work, Will goes over some political slogans from different countries including politicians threatening murder, being sarcastic, and a surprising amount of swearing, Theo goes over the newest Disney parks food innovation of peanut butter and jelly pasta, and Will goes into the “Her Soul To Take” by Harley LaRoux and “Initiation: Sex Wizards” for “Amazon Erotica!” about dorky Magicians, accidental demon summoning, Sex Wizards, and “a lot of butt stuff”.

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Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

The world is a dangerous place. Ever considered how many potential weapons there are in the hands of an highly trained individual? Could be anything — that striped sweater you love so much, a potted plant, or yes, even your dog. Keep an eye on him. 

We go DEEP into conspiracies this episode! Will brings a deep dive into the Kennedy assassination, walking through multiple different contradicting theories and proposes one that might actually be true. Theo meanwhile has a much more mundane conspiracy, delving into the world of Amazon review bots that seem to con people into buying self help books!

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“Helen! I got another one of these dang spirits on my new paramagnetic disk!”

“What’s it doing?”

“He’s saying… ‘That bastard Edison stole my ideas’... I think this is Nikola Tesla.”

“Well so if he can fix the electrical outlet in the kitchen, I want to make a smoothie.”

This week on the podcast, Will rants about the announcement of Pokemon Scarlet and Violet as well as NFTs and why they are a scam, Theo dives into a wild “Paramagnetic” medallion that will protect you from EMF and 5G or something I don’t know but they can’t even paint the thing correctly according to reviews, we drive up across the border to look at “The Great Maple Syrup Heist” of Quebec, and the boys become judge, jury, and executioner for “Am I the A**hole?” stories about eating junk food in the morning, telling off a bossy grandmother who barged into a hospital delivery room, and taking down a son’s crazy ex.

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Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

When you picture an athlete, what attributes come to mind? Strong? Maybe… Fast? Well coordinated? WRONG. Pickleball is here and is breaking through all your preconceived notions about athletes. Your grandad will kick you up and down the court and laugh the whole time. He’s never been more in his prime.

In this week’s episode, Theo brings us through some of the best Kidz Bop adaptations of songs, and Will discovers the wide world of Pickleball. Theo also has a Florida Man quiz, and Will rounds it out with some entertaining slogans from politicians around the world.

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Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

And trust me, nothing is scarier than the Belgians. I criticized their waffles one time and they gave me a good talking to. Terrifying! This week on the podcast, Theo and Will talk about media getting both longer and shorter, Theo goes over the infamous mob hit: The Valentine’s Day Massacre, Will goes over some political catchphrases from around the world (covered from Argentina to Brazil), Theo goes over a very special new promotional package from Pizza Hut that includes a ring, limousine, and of course some pizza for a perfect Pizza Hut Proposal, and Will takes us back to “Amazon Erotica” for some punchy book descriptions for “I’ll Be Taking This” and “The Mindf*ck” Series which feature a rich boy going nuclear in order to get a personal wet t-shirt contest and a revenge murderer contending with her clueless cop love interest respectively.

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Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

Bush’s Baked Beans recipe for a great bath:

In this episode Theo discusses the newly opened Taco Bell University, and Will introduces a truly wild lineup of “In The News” stories including: The US Army versus a single ninja, artificially enhanced camels, and illegal acts of wizardry.

Segment City is not sponsored by or affiliated with Bush’s Baked Beans. Please don’t sue us.

Email us at [email protected]

Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

“I’ve been consuming this pot brownie for 12 years” Edna “The Edible Queen” Jones said. “And yet, no matter how much I consume, there is more.”

“Yes Edna, you bought a 850lb pot brownie, of course it is going to take a while to eat.”

“No” Edna whispered. “I think it’s… growing. I’ve caught it staring at me. I think it is starting to think. To plan. Oh GOD!” Edna lunged at the brownie but was held back.

“I think it’s fried your brain. Let’s take you away…”

Edna’s screams echoed down the halls of her home as the brownie reached out and picked up the remote to the television.

“Hehe hell yeah duuude I love Looney Tunes man…” The brownie groaned, the light of the television illuminating its pulsing form.

This week on the podcast, the boys discuss red flags when meeting someone for the first time, Theo asks “What Does This Rap Lyric Mean?” about Gunna’s song “Pushing P” which leads to more questions including “What is P…?”, Will looks “In the News!” in an extra long segment filled with prison mashed potato fights, Batman high patrol alerts, tapping maple syrup reserves, storms causing scorpions to rise up and attack, and a 850 lb pot brownie, and Theo takes us back to “The Taxidermy Shop” for more taxidermied Ebay animals such as a send up to a Saint by way of a squirrel with eyes on a platter and a Borg turtle!