Segment City

Settle in folks, this one's a doozy. Will and Theo reflect on 2021 and recount all the games, TV shows, and movies they watched, naming their favorites of each. Will also takes us through the year in notable tweets to revisit some of the moments that took the internet by storm in the past year.

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We’re back! To celebrate the return of Segment City we decided to do a down to basics episode. Just a by the book episode of Segment City. If you haven’t listened to the show before, this is where you start.

This week on the podcast, we discuss if wallpaper is wall clothing, racist old Disney movies, Will presents a Wikipedia Historian about “Extreme Ironing” which features ironing while skiing, underwater, and “Bungie-Ironing”, Theo reads a somewhat snooty New York Times review of “Mom’s Spaghetti” which is restaurant created by Eminem in his home town of Detroit that serves old spaghetti, Will delves back into “Amazon Erotica” including stories like “Claimed by the Trucker”, “The Holiday Masked Men” series, “The Irish Don’s Black Beauty” and many others. Also on this episode, Theo goes into his Rules of the Year!

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Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

We’re back with the long anticipated episode 100, a This American Life parody in which we definitely have a cohesive theme.

Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity

Email: [email protected]

YouTube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCtOxbiSIX1NlSrNMLSqzFqQ

We can all agree that Nuns lead an austere life. It’s part of the deal when you become a nun. But sometimes you get tired of it and just want to go apes**t. You can only wear rough spun clothes, pray all day, and get around in what I assume is a cart for only so long before you feel the need for speed. The need for a Ferrari. Throw that habit off and drive into the sunset Sisters, you earned it. This week, the boys talk about trips to Paris, Theo lists some of his favorite nonsense skateboarding terms, flips, and tricks, Will takes us through a “Conspiracy Query” about the theories around Napoleon's death including poisoning, deadly enemas, and a corpse switcheroo, Theo reads an article called “Nuns Sell Up and Move Out” which describes French nuns under investigation for selling their old convent in order to buy a chateau in the South of France (as well as a farm, race horses, and a Ferrari), and Will goes over a condition called “Paris Syndrome” which is a tourist experiences psychiatric symptoms such as hallucinations, feeling of persecution, anxiety, etc caused by culture shock and disappointment from how Paris actually is.

You’ve felt like your search for love would never end, feared you’d end up alone and forgotten. Suddenly, unexpectedly, you met the man of your dreams. He’s romantic, powerful, and Scottish. Little do you know that he, or they, are here to steal your art. Or break you out of prison? Honestly, I’m a little lost on this one. The best way to describe this erotica is “densely crazy”.

This week on the podcast, Theo has never heard of the Rainforest Cafe, so Will goes through the entire menu. They also talk through an 'In The News' which seems more out of Need for Speed than real life, involving a woman flipping her car and exploding, and walking away to tell the tale. The taxidermy shop makes it’s return with a Karen Mouse who’d like to talk with the manager, and finally Will explores new sub-genres of Amazon Erotica.

Milk Snakes are either the best fake name for Go Gurts or a snake that is highly venomous but only if you are lactose intolerant. It is definitely not a way anyone has ever mispronounced Milk Shakes. This week on the podcast Theo and Will discuss Only Fans’ strange advertising strategy, a problematic boat launch, Theo describes some of the features of Bill Gates’ $120 million dollar house such 500 year old lumber floors, pins that allow guests to set their favorite music and temperature that will follow them around the house, and a pool that goes inside and outside the house, Will reads an article about Jared Leto and how he may or may not be forming a cult of his 30 Second To Mars fans where fans pay exorbitant prices to go to retreats with the band who wear all white and act like gurus (y’all it’s all a scam for money), Theo takes us back in time to the mid 2000’s with a terrible spoof article at the time about Eminem being sued by M&Ms for taking their name, and Will peruses some of the “Worst Buzzfeed Listicles” with “22 More Celebrities That Look Nothing Alike” and “20 Slightly Incorrect Names for Food”.

Everyone wants to look good and be fit, see those huge gains from pumping iron and guzzling brotein shakes, and just be able to lift a refrigerator without so much as a blink. At some point, however, there is a line where you become too buff and transcend into the realm of being uncomfortably buff. In this week’s episode, we will exactly determine where that line is, and when you can finally stop working out. Theo brings a new edition of Florida Man in which a Krispy Kreme donut is mistaken for meth, and Will runs us through more entries from Buzzfeed’s listicle of worst listicles. Finally, Theo completely spoils Kong vs Godzilla and all the very important plot points. Spoiler: if you’re watching this movie for the plot, well uh... 

If I could sweat mayo I would try to make an industry out of it just as long as no one asked where the mayo came from. My sandwiches would never be dry but neither would my shirts. This week on the podcast, Theo and Will talk about an eventful “Bring your kids to work” event where a kid called Will a clown, what age people think they are in their head, having a 1% chance for your phone to let out a loud fog horn sound for a million dollars, Will goes over a terrible Buzzfeed listicle about the “hardest” Would you Rather questions they could find that end up being nonsense like “Would you rather have legs as long as fingers or fingers as long as legs?”, “Would you rather sweat mayo or poop a softball?”, and “Would you rather change gender everytime you sneeze or can’t tell the difference between a muffin and a baby?”, Theo tells the tale of a Russian model that was trapped on a Chinese boy band reality TV competition because of his contract, and Will stumbles upon a Goosebumps collection (I presume mistakenly) at the top of the Top Science Fiction Erotica section of Amazon.

It’s Friday night, and all the Orcs and Uruk-hai are getting all dolled up to go out. Down at Bones ‘n Flesh the atmosphere is calm and inviting, guests are filtering in to start off their evening in style. The most popular item on the menu, of course, is man flesh, served with a side of hobbit meat. On special is a rare delicacy -- local elf leg. 

This week on the podcast Theo wonders what the quote “Looks like man flesh is back on the menu” implies about Orc dining and tipping culture. Will brings up some deep buried trauma caused by Barney the Dinosaur during his childhood. They discuss how much a phony product needs to be sold at to be convincingly deceptive, and Will bring us another Regrettable Supervillain. We take a trip down to the taxidermy shop and discover this week’s find -- a small Jason Voorhees who is sure to be going home with Will this time. Finally, the guys read through another chapter of My Immortal in which Voldemort is looking absolutely fabulous in his new heels.