This week, Katie tells the story of her very first date after her breakup… and all the chaotic, conflicting, surprisingly insightful feelings that came with it. Think of this episode as a self-centered field trip into listening to your body, unlearning old rules, and figuring out what you actually want instead of what your fear or society tells you to want. It’s honest, playful, and a perfect example of how tuning in can shift your whole experience and help you build self trust along the way.

IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN:

• How to notice when old beliefs, rigidity, or “rules” start creeping back in, even when you thought you’d outgrown them.
• Why conflicting emotions (like wanting connection and wanting distance) can coexist and still offer helpful information.
• A practical example of choosing actions that honor your values rather than your fears, expectations, or past patterns.
• Ways to use your body’s cues as feedback for what feels aligned, safe, and supportive instead of forcing yourself into situations out of obligation.

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DISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.

This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.

The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.

The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

This final episode of our codependency series zooms out to reveal how the world around us, including workplaces, healthcare systems, politics, family structures, and culture as a whole, reinforces and normalizes codependent dynamics. If you have ever wondered why setting boundaries feels impossible or why burnout, guilt, and over-functioning feel like the default, this conversation helps you see that it is not just a “you” problem. It is a systemic issue. You will learn how cultural expectations around loyalty, self-sacrifice, and people-pleasing keep harmful patterns in place, and why awareness is the first step toward building a more self-centered and genuinely supportive life.

IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN:

• How codependent beliefs show up in personal relationships, workplaces, healthcare systems, government, and culture.
• Why “just set a boundary” is not always realistic or safe when power imbalances and codependent cultures are present.
• The difference between micro (individual), mezzo (family and group), and macro (cultural and political) forms of codependence and how each level reinforces the others.
• The reasons why burnout, people-pleasing, over-functioning, and guilt are often adaptive responses to unhealthy systems rather than personal shortcomings. You are not flawed for struggling.
• Why codependent cultures and abuse go hand in hand.

RESOURCES:

1. Episode 42: The Drama Triangle
2. Episodes 48-50: Codependency Series

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New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.

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Thoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: [email protected]

DISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.

This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.

The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.

The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

When you’ve spent years in codependent dynamics, it’s easy to confuse intensity with connection and fantasy with compatibility. This episode helps you uncover the subconscious habits, like rescuing, reenacting old wounds, people-pleasing, and idealizing emotionally unavailable partners, that quietly pull you away from real, grounded intimacy. You’ll learn how to shift from managing others’ reactions to expressing your truth, how to recognize when you’re chasing a “do-over,” and how to begin reparenting the parts of you that never felt fully seen. By the end of this episode (and this series), you’ll understand how to build relationships based on clarity, self-attunement, and genuine connection and hang up the familiar cloak of codependent coping.

IN THIS EPISODE YOU'LL LEARN:

• How codependency shows up as “unconscious fantasies,” idealization, and the search for an emotionally mature rescuer.
• Why repetition compulsion makes you attracted to familiar but unhealthy partners and how to interrupt that cycle.
• The difference between people-pleasing, peace-keeping, and honest self-expression (and how to practice truth-telling without oversharing).
• How to recognize when you’re managing someone’s reactions instead of gathering real information about who they are.
• Tools for moving from other-attunement to self-attunement, including emotional cues, body awareness, and boundary-setting.
• What reparenting actually looks like day-to-day and how to become the safe, grounded adult your younger self needed.

RELATED EPISODES:

1. Part 1 of 4: 48. Codependence 101: Why You Keep Losing Yourself in Relationships
2. Part 2 of 4: 49. How to Break Codependent Patterns and Come Home to Yourself

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New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.

Follow us on IG: selfcentered.pod

Thoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: [email protected]

DISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.

This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.

The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.

The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

In this episode we break down the five faces of codependency (the caretaker, people-pleaser, rescuer, dependent, and avoidant), what led you to being in each role, and how you can get in touch with the most authentic and empowered version of you.

You’ll learn how to:

• Recognize which roles you fall into in relationships
• Identify the beliefs driving your codependent habits
• Shift from self-abandonment to self-connection
• Build interdependent, reciprocal relationships

If you’ve ever wondered “Why do I keep attracting the same kind of people?” or felt burnt out from being “the reliable one,” this episode will help you rewrite your story and come home to yourself.

RELATED EPISODES:

• EP. 27 "Wait, is it me or their ego?"
• Ep. 32 Communication styles 101
• Ep. 36 Reclaiming Your Wellness in Every Dimension of Your Life (Learn the concept of "staying in your seat"
• Ep. 42 The drama triangle explained
• Ep. 48 Codependence 101

Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!

New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.

Follow us on IG: selfcentered.pod

Thoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: [email protected]

DISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.

This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.

The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.

The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

If in relationships, you feel like you're always anticipating others’ needs, walking on eggshells, or taking responsibility for everyone else’s emotions, this episode may help you understand why. In this first episode of our four-part series on codependency, we unpack what codependence is, the five roles that keep people stuck in unhealthy patterns, and how childhood mirroring (or lack of it) can shape adult relational habits. You'll hear relational life examples as Katie shares a personal reflection on how her own codependent tendencies formed and how she is learning to reconnect with her authentic needs. By the end, you will see that healing from codependency is not about becoming less caring; it is about becoming more centered.

IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN:

• What codependency actually means and why it is rooted in self-abandonment, not neediness or clinginess.
• The five roles that appear in codependent relationships: the caretaker, people pleaser, rescuer, dependent, and avoidant, and how they interact.
• How formative experiences of not being emotionally mirrored can lead to later over-functioning or emotional avoidance.
• Why codependent behavior often begins as a survival strategy and becomes part of your identity.
• The difference between being “easy to love” and being emotionally unavailable or self-silencing.

RELATED EPISODES:

• Episode 6: How to Set and Keep Boundaries
• Episode 42: The Drama Triangle

Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!

New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.

Follow us on IG: selfcentered.pod

Thoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: [email protected]

DISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.

This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.

The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.

The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

Today's episode dives into the courage it takes to make life or career changes when both options seem “right.” Katie opens up about a major business transition to leave the gym that helped her grow for five years and explores how perfectionism, hustle culture, and reenactment cycles kept her chasing familiar patterns under the illusion of safety. We unpack how fear of incompetence, identity tied to productivity, and the need for control can trap us in survival mode even when we crave expansion. This self-reflective episode is for anyone standing at a crossroads, questioning whether their comfort zone is actually keeping them stuck.

IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN

• How to recognize when growth requires leaving something good behind
• The difference between “I have to” and “I get to” when you're investing time and energy
• How reenactment can keep us stuck repeating old emotional or professional patterns
• What it means to create new molds for your life instead of forcing old ones to fit
• Self reflective questions you can ask yourself to determine if you're making choices that are aligned to your true values

Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!

New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.

Follow us on IG: selfcentered.pod

Thoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: [email protected]

DISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.

This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.

The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.

The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

In this episode, Allie opens up about the very personal and sometimes messy process of realizing she’s bisexual and how that discovery began, unexpectedly, on TikTok. What starts as a story about algorithms becomes an honest reflection on curiosity, attraction, and the cultural assumptions that had quietly shaped her sense of “normal.” We talk through what it’s like to question old beliefs and to meet yourself with compassion when your truth surprises you. This isn’t a lesson; it’s a conversation about growing, unlearning, and learning to listen inward with gentleness and curiosity.

PLEASE NOTE: This episode reflects a personal learning journey and includes discussions of sexuality and heteronormativity. We’ve learned that some parts of this discussion lacked context as they were detached from the history and lived experience of the queer community and we want to acknowledge that. Our intent is to continue learning and honoring the voices, histories, and lived experiences of the LGBTQ+ community with more depth and care. Follow up episodes to explore these important layers further are coming!

IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN:

• How replacing shame with curiosity can open space for genuine self-discovery.
• What it feels like to realize you’ve been living by someone else’s “default settings” and how to begin rewriting them.
• Why exploring your identity isn’t about getting it right, but about getting honest.
• How cultural expectations can shape attraction without us even realizing it.
• Ways to approach new self-understandings with humility and compassion, especially when they challenge what you thought you knew about yourself.

RESOURCES:

1. Episode 28: Defense Mechanisms

Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!

New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.

Follow us on IG: selfcentered.pod

Thoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: [email protected]

DISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.

This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.

The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.

The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

Do you ever feel like you have to earn rest or joy?

In this episode, we’re flipping the script. Feeling good isn’t something you get after the work is done—it’s the thing that actually helps you do the work better.

We talk about:

• Why rest, joy, and pleasure are essential, not indulgent
• How to build your “emotional bank account” through small, daily deposits of joy
• The science behind “The Happiness Advantage” and the DBT skill of accumulating positive emotions
• How noticing your “glimmers” rewires your nervous system for safety and peace
• The psychology behind “fake it (feeling good) 'til you make it” and why it actually works

If you’ve ever felt guilty for resting or struggled to enjoy good things because your to-do list isn’t done, this episode will help you start feeling good now, not someday.

OTHER HELPFUL EPISODES:

• Episodes 2: How to Stop Overextending Yourself by Staying in Your Seat
• Episode 24: Identifying Your True Values and Aligning Your Priorities
• Episode 36: How to maintain wellness in every dimension of your life

SOURCES:

• Shawn Achor's book, "The Happiness Advantage" and his Tedx Talk, "The Happiness Advantage"
• DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy)
• Deb Dana's concept of glimmers

Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!

New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.

Follow us on IG: selfcentered.pod

Thoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: [email protected]

DISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.

This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.

The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.

The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

Transformation and post traumatic growth doesn’t always feel bright or inspiring at the start. More often, it feels like walking through fog - scary, heavy, and disorienting - because the path forward is unknown. In this episode, we help you recognize when you’re stuck in looping patterns of avoidance, over-functioning, or self-abandonment that keep you circling in the dark. You’ll learn why surrendering to discomfort, rather than resisting it, is the key to breaking the loop and moving toward real growth. This conversation will give you hope and practical guidance to step out of the fog and into true transformation.

IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN:

• Why transformation and growth often begins in darkness and how to reframe breakdowns as invitations to grow.
• How to recognize the looping patterns of avoidance, over-functioning, and self-abandonment that keep you stuck.
• When to lean into discomfort and surrender to the process instead of resisting it.
• How to use emotions like anger and guilt as signals guiding you back to your center.
• The Fool's Journey and how Tarot, psilocybin, and religious metaphors encourage you to move your way out of the fog.
• Why facing your shadows builds resilience, self-trust, and the ability to move through future challenges with greater ease.

RESOURCES:

• Episode 2 - Staying in Your Seat
• Episodes 4 & 36 - Dartboard Metaphor
• Richard Tedeschi & Lawrence Calhoun – Post-Traumatic Growth
• Portia Nelson – "Autobiography in Five Chapters"

Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!

New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.

Follow us on IG: selfcentered.pod

Thoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: [email protected]

DISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.

This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.

The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.

The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

How do you determine when exercise as a coping mechanism is helping you self center or if its self abandonment? Through the story of ultramarathoner Paul Johnson, who ran across the United States to bring visibility to mental health struggles, and Simone Biles, who stepped back from the Olympics to protect her wellbeing, we see how different choices can both be acts of self centering. Katie also reflects on her own experiences of using fitness to cope through difficult seasons and when it became grounding versus when it became avoidance. Listeners will leave with practical insights to reflect on their own habits and recognize whether their approach to fitness is aligned with their needs, values, and current season of life.

YOU WILL LEARN:

• How to tell if your workouts are serving you or draining you. You’ll learn practical reflection questions that help you check whether your fitness routine is aligning with your needs or pulling you away from yourself
• Why two athletes made opposite choices and both found healing. Paul Johnson used ultramarathon running to process his struggles, while Simone Biles stepped back from competition to protect her wellbeing. Their stories show that there is no one right answer
• What role seasons of life play in your fitness choices. You will see how the same routine can be supportive in one season but harmful in another, and why flexibility matters in deciding when to push and when to rest
• How to build a balanced toolbox for coping. You’ll learn why fitness works best when paired with other supports like therapy, community, and rest rather than being your only outlet

RESOURCES:

• E39: Exercise and Mental Health

Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!

New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.

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Thoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: [email protected]

DISCLAIMER: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.

This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.

The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.

The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.