Don't Cut Your Own Bangs

Self-Compassion, Fertility, and Trusting Your Body Again


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If you're a capable, driven woman who's doing everything "right" — and still feeling exhausted, stuck, or quietly blaming your body — this episode is for you.

In this deeply meaningful conversation, I sit down with Dr. Erica Bove, double board certified physician, fertility specialist, and founder of Love & Science Fertility, to talk about what happens when high-achieving women bring the same hustle-and-push mindset into their bodies… and why fertility, healing, and clarity ask for something different.

We explore how self-compassion, nervous system regulation, and trust aren't "soft skills" — they're foundational tools for healing, decision-making, and moving forward with more ease and confidence.

This episode blends science, lived experience, and real talk — with humor, honesty, and a few moments that might make you pause and say, oh… that's me.

In this episode, we cover:
  • Why trying harder often backfires in fertility and healing

  • How hypervigilance and chronic stress impact the body

  • What it actually means to trust your body again

  • The difference between the inner critic and the inner coach

  • Why creativity can calm anxiety faster than "trying to relax"

  • Dr. Erica's powerful Don't Cut Your Own Bangs moment

Key takeaways:
  • Healing responds to safety, not pressure

  • Your thoughts and feelings are data, not flaws

  • Self-compassion improves clarity and follow-through

  • You're not broken — your body is communicating with you

Quotes from the episode:
  • "Trying harder doesn't work in fertility — safety does."

  • "Your thoughts and feelings are data."

  • "The inner coach is so much better than the inner critic."

Resources mentioned:
  • The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Dr. Kristin Neff

  • Stand With Minnesota: https://www.standwithminnesota.com

Links & Resources

Connect with Dr. Erica Bove

  • https://www.loveandsciencefertility.com/

  • https://www.loveandsciencefertility.com/thepodcast

  • https://www.loveandsciencefertility.com/starting-to-thrive-course

  • https://www.instagram.com/loveandsciencefertility

Connect with Danielle

  • Podcast (Spotify): https://open.spotify.com/show/0VFZulonTvaa2HIPyJa4Tq

  • Podcast (Apple): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-cut-your-own-bangs/id1427579922

  • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DontCutYourOwnBangs

  • Website: https://danielleireland.com/

  • Children's Book: https://danielleireland.com/wrestling-a-walrus

  • The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal

  • Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com/

  • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dontcutyourownbangs/

  • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW

  • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dontcutyourownbangspod

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Don't Cut Your Own BangsBy Danielle Ireland

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