Humans love to fit in and feel accepted.

It's part of how we've survived for so long.

We band together and we judge others.

But sometimes our need to be liked, and accepted, and feel special can take over our life!

If you are struggling with low self-confidence, or your mental health is suffering, consider this:

Are you obsessing over how others see you?

Are you addicted to being liked and admired and desired?

In this episode Patrick will give you six common ways that our need for others' approval (or External Validation) shows up in our life and how we can learn to manage it.

In just half an hour, you will learn why we need this outside approval to feel good, how it can become an addiction, and the 3-step process Patrick uses to develop his self-esteem.

So if you're a little tired of acting like someone you're not just to fit in...

Or if you're spending time and money and energy to look good for others...

Or if you're just plain simping for someone who doesn't love you back...

This episode is for you! Get your self-confidence back and feel good about who you are. Listen now!

CHAPTERS

1:48 - Summary of last episode

6:55 - 6 different ways we look for external validation

11:59 - 3 more ways and how it becomes a problem

20:40 - 3-step solution and questions you need to ask yourself

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Listen on Spotify

Listen on Apple Podcasts

Be honest. Could you be getting more out of life?

Is your real self going out into the world everyday or are you hiding?

There is an often-overlooked part of our mind that can be the cause of these problems.

We want to live authentically, we want to achieve our goals, we want to be accepted by others, and yet we don't always work our hardest at these things.

Why not?

Because it's hard frankly. And sometimes we have to work and work at it with no reward.

This is where our fantasies can start to take over.

In today's episode, Patrick will share with you how his compulsive fantasizing and imaginary experiences were actually holding him back. He'll explain exactly how these thoughts disrupt our life, and he'll give you a series of questions to ask yourself if you're not satisfied with who you are.

In half an hour you will learn how to become aware of your unhelpful fantasies and how to begin taking control of them so you can live a more productive, satisfying and peaceful life. If you're searching for a little more happiness and a bigger, better, and brighter life, this episode is waiting for you. Listen now!

CHAPTERS

0:00 - Episode summary and what to expect

6:09 - How to become aware of excessive fantasization

9:24 - The first question to ask yourself

12:22 - How does fantasy hurt us and what should you ask yourself?

16:07 - Why do we fantasize and how can we lose control of it?

19:13 - How fantasy fulfills our desire for control

21:10 - Three solutions to control excessive fantasization

-----

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Listen on Spotify

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Do you work a hard job?

Does life demand a lot from your body?

Do you often wake up sore and stiff?

Did you know that this physical tension we feel can also be the cause of poor mental health, bad moods and negative emotions?

It's worth thinking about: does your job or your personal life require you to work hard, have poor posture, contort your body or experience stress? And, do you often feel grumpy or low on energy along with those aches and pains?

If you'd like to know more about how soreness and tension from work affects our mood and what you can do about it, check out this episode. Patrick will give you two quick stories from his personal life and give you some questions to ask yourself.

More importantly, he'll give you 5 ways you can manage both physical and emotional stress in your day-to-day life. So listen now! In just 15 minutes you'll be on the road to relaxation.

CHAPTERS:

00:51 - Waking up sore and grumpy after 3 days of monster trucks

4:56 - What is this tension in our body exactly?

7:12 - How our emotions can lead to physical pain

9:19 - Five solutions for managing your physical and emotional tension

-----

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Listen on Spotify

https://open.spotify.com/show/4FCejNvJL4DvsRTi5YT3iG?si=0e5a761d89a348d6

Listen on Apple Podcasts

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/self-control/id1547190181

How much time do you spend listening to the opinions of others versus your own inner voice?

How much stress and uncertainty do you feel around what you eat?

While these may not seem related, it turns out they are deeply similar.

In this episode, Patrick explains his basic approach to staying mentally healthy. And it has to do with how much goes into our mind and body and how much goes out.

So if you're looking for a little food for thought on your mental health, and maybe some perspective on the importance of what you "consume," tune in now and ask yourself:

"Am I bringing myself to bear on the world, or is the world bearing down on me?"

Check out our YouTube channel and Subscribe!

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https://www.facebook.com/patrick.strevens

In life, so much is out of our control.

There is so much we can never know.

And the opinions of others will always come and go.

So, why don't we truly accept this? Why do we constantly try to change things and end up not being ourselves in the process?

The answer to this is: the Ego.

Behind the scenes, our Ego is writing the story of our life. It watches and judges all that we do and all that happens to us.

The only problem is that the Ego focuses on negative experiences like pain and humiliation in writing this story.

So when heartbreak, trauma, loss or suffering happen to us, our Ego can have us believing that that's all that life has to offer. And so, we must avoid challenges, stay put, and always be on the lookout for danger.

And of course, we must desperately seek to control EVERYTHING.

The big, bad, scary world can hurt us after all, and so we must do everything in our power to control the behaviour of others, the thoughts of others, and obsess about what goes on around us.

This episode is about learning to accept what we cannot control. It's not an easy task, but it can be done. This is the final step in forming a partnership with your Ego. To free yourself from the desperate need to control the outer world to finding confidence and peace through self-knowledge and self-control.

Today you will learn 3 ways to practice acceptance in your relationships, and 3 more ways to practice acceptance of your emotions. Patrick will also share his story of developing these pointers so you will have some helpful examples.

If you're ready to stop the desperate need to control everything around you and to bring some peace to your life, this is the episode for you. Listen now!

CHAPTERS:

0:00 - Cold open - The journal entry that started it all

3:24 - Introduction, what we did last episode, and what to expect here

5:21 - How the Ego's desire for control can lead to problems

6:53 - Patrick's story of developing self-control after a traumatic experience

13:54 - Three ways to practice acceptance in your relationships

19:20 - Three ways to practice acceptance of your emotions

-----

Get in touch with Patrick today!

https://www.facebook.com/patrick.strevens

https://www.instagram.com/selfcontrolpodcast/

Check out our YouTube channel and Subscribe!

https://www.youtube.com/@BuildaBetterLife

Are you sick of having no control over your emotions?

Has people-pleasing and endlessly criticising yourself left you wondering who you even are?

Did something happen in your past that's left you hopelessly stuck?

When pain, loss, trauma or misfortune happens to us, our Ego acts to keep us safe as we continue through life, but sometimes that means we don't grow into our true self.

We're left with bad habits, anger, depression and living as someone we're not.

But there is a way to get past this pain and discover your true potential.

There is a way to partner with your Ego and find peace.

In this episode, Patrick will share some of his story about how trauma led him to addiction and living inauthentically. It was only through deep self work that he was able to quit these harmful habits and begin the road to finding himself.

And through this work he has developed a process he can share with you. In this episode, you will learn one more practice to add to your journalling and goal-setting work that will accelerate your growth.

Plus, you will learn 3 specific ways that you can partner with your Ego and begin to take control of the parts of your life that need work.

This episode is jam-packed with practical tips for you and step-by-step guidance so you will not be alone in this process. If you're ready to work toward peace and happiness, begin the journey to finding yourself, and to take back control of your life, Listen Now! In just 30 minutes you can begin your transformation!

CHAPTERS:

2:17 - What to expect in this episode

3:19 - What is our Ego and how can cause problems for us?

5:33 - How journalling helps us take control of our life story

8:47 - Journalling tips: how to use gratitude and mindfulness

11:52 - Patrick's story of making a movie, getting fat, and losing weight

15:22 - Patrick's story of living inauthentically and his problems with marijuana use

18:12 - Your specific bad behaviours and how they reveal the Ego's need for control

20:43 - How to add "Tracking" to your journalling and goal-setting

23:33 - Three ways to partner with your ego

29:31 - Wrap-up

29:55 - What's coming in the next episode?

-----

List of Defense Mechanisms

List of Protective Identities

Get in touch with Patrick today!

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See Patrick's Film Driftwood Here

Pain, trauma, grief, abuse, misfortune... These things cannot be avoided in life.

But something else happens after these experiences. Something we cannot see or control.

Behind the scenes, in your mind, your Ego is writing your life story. And it becomes very concerned with these painful and negative experiences you've had. It begins wonder if maybe you're weak and vulnerable. It forces you to protect yourself at all costs.

So if you find yourself having emotional outbursts, and mood swings,

If you have a harsh inner critic or insist on everything being perfect,

If you're a people-pleaser, a tough guy, or you've decided you hate others and choose to stay indoors alone,

These are all indications that your Ego is leading you astray. Leading you away from who you really are.

In this episode, Patrick gives you a detailed breakdown of what the Ego is, how it works, and what it's doing to you, and he shares some of his painful journey following childhood trauma.

Most importantly: he will give you two ways that the Ego is trying to protect you which are likely leading to stress and anxiety AND he will give you two behaviours you can start TODAY to begin to heal your Ego and start living a better life.

So if you're sick of feeling out of control--or if you're tired of trying to control everything--if you're ready to stop fighting and start living, this is the episode for you. Listen now!

CHAPTERS:

00:30 - Intro - What to expect

03:00 - What is the Ego?

08:16 - Patrick's story of trauma and Ego defense

11:16 - What are the two things your Ego does to protect you?

14:25 - Defense Mechanisms - Projection & Displacement

18:10 - Protective Identities

20:51 - The first step in healing your wounded Ego

25:13 - The next step to healing your wounded Ego

28:48 - What's coming in the next episode

------

List of Defense Mechanisms

List of Protective Identities

Get in touch with Patrick today!

https://www.facebook.com/patrick.strevens

https://www.instagram.com/selfcontrolpodcast/

Check out our YouTube channel and Subscribe!

https://www.youtube.com/@BuildaBetterLife

Do you find yourself obsessed with controlling everything around you... and yet you can't seem to control your emotions?

Do you obsess over every little thing being perfect, and going YOUR WAY, but freak out if it doesn't?

Are you scared to death of failing in front of your peers, yet you love to criticise yourself every night?

These are all signs of an unhealthy or wounded Ego.

The Ego is the part of our mind that sees us as a character in our life story. The problem is: the Ego focusses on negativity and danger in order to keep us alert and alive. But when trauma, loss, misfortune or pain happens in our life, our Ego can run wild with the belief that the world is out to get us.

It casts us as the weakling or the loser in our own life story!

And when we believe this story we become afraid.

Afraid to change, afraid to try, afraid of others, afraid to be who we really are.

All this can result in poor emotional control, anxiety or depression.

Plus perfectionism, self-hate, aggression and other futile attempts to win back control of our self.

But the Ego can also be strong partner for us.

We just need to learn how to work with it and not let it take over control. With a healthy ego, we can manage our emotions, accept our strengths and weaknesses, set boundaries, and have healthy relationships.

You can have all those things. You don't have to suffer.

In this episode, Patrick lays out the plan for a series of episodes that will help you get in touch with your Ego and start working together. He'll share stories from his 30-year journey from trauma to acceptance and he'll give you some challenging questions to ask yourself.

If you're ready to get your emotions under control, stop obsessing over every little detail, and start enjoying your life, this episode is ready for you. Listen now and join us on the journey!

Get in touch with Patrick today!

https://www.facebook.com/patrick.strevens

https://www.instagram.com/selfcontrolpodcast/

Check out our YouTube channel and Subscribe!

https://www.youtube.com/@BuildaBetterLife

Check Out Patrick's Guest Appearance on the 1% Podcast:

https://youtu.be/05_CphncyZY

Are you struggling to begin your self-development journey?

Or has your progress slowed down?

As difficult as it may be, this could be a sign that it's time to change up your eco-system.

What exactly does this mean?

In life, we are always consuming information and especially the thoughts and words of other people. But sometimes our own voice can be drowned out by these online posts, news stories, and TikTok videos. It's time to listen to your own voice.

What works for someone else, might not work for you, and yet we are often fooled into believing that we can follow in another person's footsteps to the top of the mountain.

In this episode, Patrick talks to Mira Taylor, a spiritually-integrated therapist, who shares her thoughts on creating our own "substrate" and feeling good about the life we are building for ourself.

So here's some food for thought as you start your week and continue your self-development journey. Ask yourself: "what substrate do I do best in?" Listen now!

Follow Mira on Instagram

Visit Her Website

Get in touch with Patrick today!

https://www.facebook.com/patrick.strevens

https://www.instagram.com/selfcontrolpodcast/

Check out our YouTube channel and Subscribe!

https://www.youtube.com/@BuildaBetterLife

Check Out Patrick's Guest Appearance on the 1% Podcast:

https://youtu.be/05_CphncyZY

Do you struggle to have success over the long-term?

Do inconsistency and bad habits lead to poor results in some area of your life?

Perhaps you can't stick to a diet... or vices like weed, coffee, alcohol and porn hold you back.

You'd like to feel clear-headed and confident, but it's just not there.

It can be very frustrating to want a better life for ourselves, but then fail to stay on track to getting there. And when so much in life is out of our control, it's easy to feel powerless.

Luckily, there is something you can do TODAY. An improvement you can make IMMEDIATELY.

In this episode, Patrick talks to Mira Taylor, a spiritually-integrated therapist, who shares her professional insight into EXACTLY what you need to do to have sustainable success reaching your goals and breaking bad habits.

If you're ready to take back control of your life, reach your goals, and feel better this week, this is the one for you! Listen Now!

Follow Mira on Instagram

Visit Her Website

Get in touch with Patrick today!

https://www.facebook.com/patrick.strevens

https://www.instagram.com/selfcontrolpodcast/

Check out our YouTube channel and Subscribe!

https://www.youtube.com/@BuildaBetterLife