Today’s guest, Terra Newell, was only 25 when she survived a knife attack at the hands of serial predator and con man John, whom she killed in self-defense. 

The shocking incident became the subject of 2018’s smash TV hit “Dirty John,” and Terra has gone on to share her story – and raise awareness for domestic abuse – on Dateline, Dr. Oz, KTLA, and more.

Six years after defending herself from John, Terra is still working through the trauma. 

 

“[Everyone says], ‘Well, you know, we need everyone's stories because it's not just your story, you know, it's your mom's, it's this, that.’ I understand that they all have stories, but the reason why [John] isn't here today is because of me. And I have to hold onto that trauma and I have to live with that. And I am the only one that has to live with that.” – Terra (27:05) 

 

Today, Terra joins me to share her story – including when she realized something wasn’t right about John, the “master manipulator” tactics she witnessed him using on her mother, and how her relationship with her mom has changed. 

She also speaks candidly about being a trauma survivor, how C-PTSD has altered virtually every aspect of her life – from dating to physiological changes to getting through the day – and techniques she uses to cope. 

 

“It's still like, I wish I didn't have to do that. Like I wish the cops could have handled it, but you know, everything happens for a reason. And I have to lean on that reason when those days come up because you know, I wanna be normal some days. I wanna be as normal as I can.” – Terra (44:06)

 

For Terra, something that helps her own journey to recovery is helping other trauma survivors, which she does through her trauma healing work. 

 

“I get the people [who are at their] last resort. They're like, ‘I've gone to therapy. My therapist, I haven't learned anything from her.’ I'm like, ‘Well, I have been through a lot of stuff and I've gone through the process of it. So let me show you what has worked for me.’ … There's the commonality that everybody has been through. Something everybody has been hurt. And so I don't love to get to know people's hurt, but I love to bond with people over that, for sure. I know that we're all not alone.” – Terra

 

In This Episode

• (01:51) Terra’s story: “My mom married a psychopath” 
• (03:59) The point that she knew something wasn’t right about ‘Dirty John’ 
• (09:40) Love bombing, gaslighting, and other tactics of a master manipulator
• (21:05) Being triggered as a trauma survivor
• (23:38) America’s obsession with sociopaths 
• (28:21) A day in the life: How Terra copes with C-PTSD
• (38:07) The healing role of animals in a trauma survivor’s recovery
• (42:19) How Terra’s relationship with her mom has changed
• (48:14) Dating with C-PTSD
• (55:39) EMDR therapy and coping techniques
• (1:03:03) The physiological effects of trauma 
• (1:06:27) Terra’s work as a trauma life coach
• (1:10:45) “I know this is my purpose” 

 

Our Guest

Terra Newell helps other survivors cope through her work as a trauma life coach and is the host of her own podcast, Time Out with Terra, and true crime podcast The Survivor Squad.

Currently, Terra is working with criminal behavior analyst Laura Richards to help pass laws against coercive control in the United States. With her help, one such law has already passed in California.

 

Resources & Links

Off The Cuff

• https://www.offthecuff.fm/
• https://www.youtube.com/c/OffTheCuffwithDannyLoPriore
• https://www.instagram.com/1and1otc/
• https://www.instagram.com/dannylopriore/

Terra Newell

• https://www.instagram.com/terranewell/
• https://terranewellsurvival.com
• https://audioboom.com/channels/5001278
• https://www.instagram.com/thesurvivorsquadpod/
• https://www.instagram.com/terraspups/