Semiautomagic, Inc - EVERYTHING

It’s true what the old adage says: THOSE WHO LIVE IN EMPTY HOUSES SHOULDN’T THROW WEIRD OLD MEN SELLING BOOKS.
Holmes returns from his watery grave and HAS HE GOT A BUST TO PICK WITH YOU, an INNOCENT GAMBLESMAN lies DEAD AS THE DAY IS LONG, Nick examines the HANDSOME-TO-EVIL RATIO, and the Baker Street Bois face off against a foe that just in this moment I realize I am BAFFLED we didn’t compare to Kraven the Hunter like we did that other guy, MAN what a missed opportunity.

The Detective Soup of the Week is: HOLMES ALONE HUMMUS (Hummus soup is a thing, we checked, we take our weekly novelty soups seriously)

Free e-text of this week’s story: https://www.gutenberg.org/files/108/108-h/108-h.htm

Free audio of this week’s story: https://librivox.org/the-return-of-sherlock-holmes-by-sir-arthur-conan-doyle-2/

PODS & ENDS: Night Watch by Sergei Lukyanenko.

Tiger Time was brought to you by special guest Vaun Warbear, who can be found SMOOCHIN’ ON NICK or, when the weather’s nice, out in the woods letting the moss grow over him. More information about tigers and the saving of them can be found at SaveTigersNow.org! The kerning in this font when it’s bolded makes Ti look like the pi symbol! ACCIDENTAL LIFE OF PI REFERENCE??? We are not in a position to turn such a thing down and will TAKE THE POINTS, YOUR HONOR.

The Final Podblem is cohosted by Nicholas ‘The Extremely Difficult To Embarrass, Like For Real, Don’t Even Try’ Cohen and Casey 'CW' Hills, who also edits and produces it. Find it and more of our shows on the Semiautomagic Podcast Network at semiautomagicinc.com, follow our twitter @TheFinalPodblem, email us at [email protected] and find our Patreon at patreon.com/semiautomagic, where you can become a patron to support the show, get early episodes and exclusive content!

AT LAST, the thing our stupid faces have WANTED to say every time we've tried to say the name of this dumb show is UPON US, and NONE WILL BE SPARED. CAN Holmes and Watson survive the MALEVOLENT MACHINATIONS of the mysterious Moriarty? DID Mycroft rent that cabbie outfit or is it one of those things where if you masquerade as a hansom driver more than like three times a year, owning your own is just more cost effective? WILL the 1:15 Swiss Boy be on time? And Nick levels the most piercing question of all at himself, his cohost, the audience and the world: WOULD you download a dragon?

Oh also we examine the nature of fandom and its tendency towards toxicity as well as the narrative mechanics of reading a story that was supposed to be a finale while knowing that it wasn't, it's actually a really interesting episode and we're pretty proud of it.

The Detective Soup of the Week is: PRECARIOUS PRECIPICE PHỞ

Free e-text of this week's story: https://sherlock-holm.es/stories/pdf/a4/1-sided/fina.pdf

Free audio of this week's story: https://librivox.org/the-memoirs-of-sherlock-holmes-by-sir-arthur-conan-doyle-2/

The Final Podblem is cohosted by Nicholas Cohen and Casey 'CW' Hills, who also edits and produces it. Find it and more of our shows on the Semiautomagic Podcast Network at semiautomagicinc.com, follow our twitter @TheFinalPodblem, email us at [email protected] and find our Patreon at patreon.com/semiautomagic, where you can become a patron to support the show, get early episodes and exclusive content!

TO LISTEN TO EPISODE, SET YOUR DECODER-PANTS TO CONSTELLATION PERFECT RED PRINCE, CALIBRATE YOUR THIRD NOSTRIL AND RECITE THE OATH OR PAY THE PRICE

There's TROUBLE IN THE VALLEY and its NAME IS--its--w--ah; our legal team is advising us not to finish this sentence, BUT SUFFICE IT TO SAY: herein lies a TALE OF TRAGEDY, MURDER and COUNTERFEIT COUNTERFEITING. We also find out what percentage of the world is made of crime! The answer may surprise you!

The Detective Soup of the Week is: FRATERNAL FRENCH ONION

Free e-text of this week's story: http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/3289

Free audio of this week's story: https://librivox.org/the-valley-of-fear-version-3-by-sir-arthur-conan-doyle/

The Final Podblem is cohosted by Nicholas Cohen and Casey 'CW' Hills, who also edits and produces it. Find it and more of our shows on the Semiautomagic Podcast Network at semiautomagicinc.com, follow our twitter @TheFinalPodblem, email us at [email protected] and find our Patreon at patreon.com/semiautomagic, where you can become a patron to support the show, get early episodes and exclusive content!

DESPITE THE BEST EFFORTS of 2019 and A LITERAL CRIMINAL, we are BACK and here to tell you about A THPOOKY VALLEY, which is presumably where that gross ranch dressing comes from. Who murdered this gentle yuppie in his gaudy forest castle? Which network will be brave enough to give us a sitcom about My Three Detectives sharing an apartment? WHEN WILL A WOMAN IN ONE OF THESE STORIES GET A FRIGGIN' NAME?

Free e-text of this week's story: http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/3289

Free audio of this week's story: https://librivox.org/the-valley-of-fear-version-3-by-sir-arthur-conan-doyle/

The Detective Soup of the Week is: Drawbridge Duck Broth

A brief update from your favorite we two guys except it’s just one of them, except wait, there’s also a Jasper the Cat and he’s ten pounds of trouble in a one-pound ham. Explanations! Expositions! Book recommendations! PROFESSIONAL-GRADE CAT-FANCYING, featuring NONE of your favorite cats from the recent BAFFLING cinematic extravaganza!