Settling Is Bullshit

Spirituality, presence, mindfulness, enlightenment… whatever you want to call it, we don’t just get there through thinking about it all the time. Or even through not thinking about it, if we’re trying the meditation route. Instead, connecting with our sense of being in the world (joyful or uncomfortable as that may be in any given moment) comes through both our thoughts and our bodily experiences. Mind and body aren’t actually separate, after all.

In this expansive conversation with artist and movement instructor Linnea Solveig, we muck around in the messiness and discomfort of what it means to be a human living in a body these days – how technology, social expectations, and the reality of aging impact our capacity to connect with ourselves and one another.

We also laugh a lot and celebrate the marvelous ways we’re all woven together in the tapestry of life.

Connect with Linnea

Visit her website: https://linneasolveig.com/

Follow her on Instagram @linneasolveig https://www.instagram.com/linneasolveig or @lovehelmet for her artwork https://www.instagram.com/lovehelmet/

References, Resources, and Links

Body mind centering (BMC). https://www.bodymindcentering.com/about/

Alexander technique. A set of skills to improve body movement: https://alexandertechnique.com/

Feldenkrais method. Self-improvement through movement: https://feldenkrais.com/what-is-the-feldenkrais-method/

Asana (the poses of yoga). For more details on the different aspects of yoga that Linnea references, here’s an excellent article: “Practicing the 8 Limbs of Yoga Will Help You Understand Yoga as It Was Meant to Be.” https://www.healthline.com/health/fitness/the-8-limbs-of-yoga

Descartes. “René Descartes (1596-1650) argued that the natures of mind and body are completely different from one another and that each could exist by itself.” https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6016047/

Episodes on the nervous system with Marjorie Schreurs (episodes 20 & 21) https://settlingisbullshit.com/2024/10/10/befriending-your-nervous-system-1-activation/

Psoas muscle. (which I totally spelled wrong when I googled it for us) “Psoas Muscle: What It Is, Where It Is & Anatomy” https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/body/psoas-muscle

PHAME. A Portland-based arts academy for people with cognitive disabilities where Linneah also teaches classes. https://www.phamepdx.org/

Yin yoga. A style of yoga class where poses are held for longer periods of time. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yin_Yoga

Are you on the struggle bus, my friend? If so, you are not alone – even if it super duper feels like it a lot of the time. And, as much as it sucks, the struggle is just a normal part of being human. What there is to do is persist and remember to connect when you can.

This episode isn't here to cheer you up or drown you in my usual ebullient positivity. Instead, I'm just offering empathy, witnessing, and some virtual companionship in times when shit just feels really hard (and maybe a bit hopeless). We're just in a winter right now, and what there is to do is hunker down and await the return of spring.

Resources, References, and Links

Note: book recommendations include affiliate links. If you buy a copy, I’ll get a tiny commission, and that would be super cool.

Toxic Positivity by Whitney Goodman (is the book), and then the definition is: avoiding, suppressing, or rejecting negative emotions in favor of an unrealistic optimism.

Spiritual bypassing: the use of spiritual practices and beliefs to avoid dealing with difficult emotions and unresolved issues.

Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times by Katherine May.

Settling vs. Acceptance episode.

Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski. This is about 20% about identifying and dealing with burnout, and then 80% about how patriarchal society contributes to burnout for women in particular. (It’s super good.)

What if your intuition could be your secret weapon for changing the world? Seriously! What would shift if you thought about listening to your inner wisdom as a downright revolutionary act on both the personal and collective stage?

In this lovely conversation with depth coach Andrea Leda, we unpack the magic and power of feminine intuition as a tool for breaking free from societal expectations and living authentically. And, ya know, smashing the patriarchy while we're at it!

As we see it, reclaiming our intuition is a radical act of self-liberation. Our intuition is a powerful resource for navigating life transitions, stepping into the flow of our one precious life, and finding joy in even the smallest moments.

This episode offers up an invitation for each of us to live more intentionally and honor the truths that are uniquely ours.

Connect with Andrea

Visit Andrea’s website: https://www.bravercoach.com/

Join her online community: https://www.bravercoach.com/community

Resources, References, and Links

Note: book recommendations include affiliate links. If you buy a copy, I’ll get a tiny commission, and that would be super cool

A Course in Miracles. The original source of my conviction that our curriculum in life is designed to move us from fear to love.

Cisgender. The term that applies when your ​​internal sense of gender corresponds with the sex that you were assigned at birth.

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. A somewhat problematic ranking of human needs.

Powell’s Books. The BEST bookstore ever. The original location here in Portland is the size of a city block.

The Lost Kitchen. The show and restaurant in Freedom, Maine.

Dani Gardner and the concept of leaning back.

Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport. Book Andrea highly recommended.

Designing Your Life by Dave Evans and Bill Burnett. Book I highly recommend.

Stephen Cope The Great Work of Your Life. Book that both Andrea and I recommend! (But that more directly informs her work).

It's a new year, same you, my love! Except not the same. Because SOMETHING has changed since the last new year. And this little hybrid episode is a pep-talk for setting an intention for who you want to be in 2025 rather than getting lost in the details of all the goals you want to accomplish. (Though we do still love our goals. Gold stars all year!)

In this episode, I read and reflect on the post I wrote for New Year's 2023: "Forget Goals. Set Intentions Instead," and share about what's changed, what hasn't, and what I'm intending for myself and this podcast in the year ahead.

I also admit to having been incorrect in my assumptions about how many weeks there are in a year... lol.

Let's all treat ourselves with humor, kindness, and compassion in the year(s) ahead!

Read the original post: https://settlingisbullshit.com/2024/01/03/forget-goals-set-intentions-instead/

To prioritize something means to treat it as more important than other things, which means only one thing gets to be a priority at a time. So it’s kind of no wonder that the idea of putting ourselves first, of prioritizing ourselves, can feel like a really big ask.

However! You, my darling, are a gift to this world. You have something delicious and unique and exceptional to offer. And putting yourself on the backburner is actually doing the rest of the world a disservice.

So, here are some ways to start (or continue) prioritizing yourself. You matter. You deserve it. And really nourishing yourself isn’t selfish – it’s what gives you the fuel to then share your brightness with others.

To read the original post and check out the pretty new website, visit SettlingIsBullshit.com

Living in human bodies in contemporary society means all of us have to engage with gender in some capacity. Woman, man, trans person, non-binary, gender-free… moving through the world means navigating and/or disrupting societal gender norms. And how cool would it be if we could all walk around feeling not just comfortable with our gender but downright euphoric about it?!

Today’s guest helps us think about gender with a bit of playfulness and a lot of curiosity. Performer, theater artist, educator, and clown Ania Upstill (they/them) shares their experience with gender identity, perfectionism, and the radical value of being deeply present.

They also share how clowning can be a practice for life for mental and cognitive health, and as a form of mindfulness infused with childlike wonder. What’s not to like about that?!

And! The sticker giveaway continues. Leave a rating or review, take a screenshot, and send it to me at cate [at] settlingisbullshit.com, and I will send you stickers!

Connect with Ania

Visit their website: https://www.aniaupstill.com/

Follow them on Instagram @butchmermaid

Resources, References, and Links

“Transhumance: A clown’s journey through gender” – Ania’s performance at the Kennedy Center in June of 2024. Highly recommend. Well worth 55 mins of your time. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxKepAXNan0

Trans – latin root: “through, across, or beyond.”

Commedia Dell’arte. In case you want a more detailed explanation: https://www.metmuseum.org/toah/hd/comm/hd_comm.htm

Lecoq School. The physical theater tradition that Ania mentions: https://www.ecole-jacqueslecoq.com/?lang=en

Shakespeare at Winedale. An original practice Shakespeare in performance program outside of Austin, Texas where Ania and I met in 2009. https://liberalarts.utexas.edu/winedale/

Pronouns! As I was editing this episode, I got an email from someone in the Portland Parks & Recreation department who had a link to this article included in her email signature – which both made my heart happy and seemed like a nudge from the universe to include it in the show notes. “Why do I list my pronouns?” https://www.portland.gov/parks/pronouns

Laughter Yoga (is apparently a totally real thing!) https://www.laughteryoga.org/

Botox. I did actually google what Botox is, and I’m just going to leave this quote from the Mayo Clinic that the core component of Botox “is made from the same toxin that causes a type of food poisoning called botulism.”

https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/botox/about/pac-20384658

Gender affirming care. What it is and why it matters: https://www.hrc.org/resources/get-the-facts-on-gender-affirming-care

In the spirit of the holiday season and last week's episode on boundaries and self-care, I figured it might be good for all of us to revisit one of my older blog posts about saying (and accepting) no.

I want to live in a culture that supports healthy boundaries. And healthy boundaries entail respecting people’s “no,” especially our own. Learning to graciously take no for an answer has helped me, in turn, learn how to get more comfortable telling other people no (i.e. learn to respect and hold my own boundaries).

So let’s take a little journey together and talk about boundaries, my loves, and how honoring other people’s no’s can create an environment where everyone feels a bit more safe and seen.

Read the original post: https://settlingisbullshit.com/2023/10/13/taking-no-for-an-answer/

Setting boundaries and practicing self-care are hard things to do – especially during the holiday season. But finding a clear sense of our actual capacity and remembering to check in with our body’s needs are important skills the whole year round.

In this great conversation with personal development coach Jenny Tryansky, we explore the necessity of being a “rested self" and delve into the complexities of energy management, rest, and self-regulation, particularly in the context of family dynamics during the holidays.

It’s a lovely reminder to all of us that we have permission to take care of ourselves, to step away from the conversations that stress us the fuck out, and to check in with what we need in order to show up well.

AND! To get a free set of Settling Is Bullshit stickers, leave a rating or review and email me a screenshot at cate [at] settlingisbullshit.com

Connect with Jenny

Jenny’s website: https://www.jennytryansky.ca/

Follow Jenny on Instagram @jennytryanskycoaching or Facebook

Connect with Jenny on LinkedIn

References, Resources, and Links

Karen Brody (Jenny’s rest mentor) and her Daring to Rest program: https://daringtorest.com/

The podcast episode where Jenny interviews Karen: “Motherline Exhaustion” – https://daringtorest.com/podcast/59

My previous episode about protecting your energy: “#08 | Recharging Your Batteries” – https://settlingisbullshit.com/2024/05/23/podcast-recharging-your-batteries/

Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith TEDx on the seven types of rest: “The real reason why we are tired and what to do about it” – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGNN4EPJzGk

My two-part series on befriending our nervous system with Marjorie Schreurs (episodes #20 & #21) – https://settlingisbullshit.com/2024/10/10/befriending-your-nervous-system-1-activation/

Sarri Gillman’s TEDx: "Good Boundaries Free You" – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtsHUeKnkC8&t=433s

Especially during chaotic times, gentleness is the way forward. Today's episode is a pep talk for all of us trying to make changes in our lives. It offers us the reminder that we can get where we want to go through showing up as best we can without beating ourselves up for falling short of our own unrealistic expectations. (like always getting episodes out exactly on time! lol).

Cool shit unfolds a day at a time when we just keep showing up.

Also! I'm giving away stickers!! As mentioned in the episode, please leave a review, take a screenshot, and email me at [email protected] to claim yours!

For additional resources and to read the transcript, visit SettlingIsBullshit.com

A short love note to those of us who are grieving after the election. Here's our reminder that we're not alone and that we can choose to lean into each other instead of letting the spin out consume us.

"Moving from Fear to Love" – https://settlingisbullshit.com/2022/12/27/moving-from-fear-to-love/

Quote from Howard Zinn: “To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness.

What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places—and there are so many—where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction.

And if we do act, in however small a way, we don’t have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.”

From You Can’t Be Neutral on a Moving Train.