The Beauty of Cussing. #short #podcast #humor #funny #funnypodcast #cuss #words #wordsoftheday #wordsofwisdom

The beauty of cussing. Have you ever wondered why a cuss word becomes a cuss word? Or why we even have them in language? I know I did. And I looked it up. Here's what I found out for a word. First of all, to qualify as a cuss word, it must have the potential to offend. It has to cross a cultural line into the taboo. Oh taboo sound sexy. But swearing though has a whole science behind it. There is actually a way that it can alleviate pain, and it's been shown to make you stronger. I'm not sure that's 100% True, but that's what Google told me. The top five customers though in Am erica are s**t, f**k, c**k s****r, mother f****r and c**t. My favorite one s**t. No doubt about it. It is the most versatile cuss word on the planet and it's by far the least offensive. No one no in America uses C bomb unless you're classless or you're visiting from Australia. But the beauty of cussing is something that you should definitely embrace and enjoy as part of our language and enjoy it. It's nice mother f****r!

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Trimming Your Bush.  #short #podcast #humor #funny #funnypodcast #bush #trim #garden #gardening #friends

Trimming your Bush as your Bush become a bit patchy or overgrown. It's been a little while since you've done some gardening. Maybe you're having friends over and you need to quickly trim it so you aren't so embarrassed, few tips for you to help you get that done. First lay down a tarp. It's gonna get messy, it's been a while, you want to clean this thing up quickly. Second, take a moment to examine your bush. Determine the size, the shape the length, third, start cutting from the bottom up. This will ensure the look in the fields the way you're going to want it. Don't go dip in too deep either. This could cause permanent damage or even scarring. When I get done. Take a step back, observe it. Enjoy it for a moment. Find the details. Get it to the shape you want. And then stop. Clean your tools. Pick up the clippings. Take a shower, if you got dirty when your friends come up to your house. Your push will look better. You won't be embarrassed and they'll happily come into your home. Enjoy these tips on trimming your bush. It's nice baby!

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Keto - How To Lose Friends and Weight #short #podcast #humor #funny #funnypodcast #keto #diet

Keto, how to lose friends and weight. The ketogenic diet is a very low carb high fat diet. It drastically reduces carbohydrate intake and replaces it with fat, good fat just like good debt. You can have good fat, but it puts your body in this metabolic state called ketosis. ketogenic diets are a significant reduction in blood sugar and insulin levels, as well as friendships. It's really easy to spot someone on keto for they tell you about it in the first two minutes of meeting them. I personally have lost about 800 pounds on keto, that's four friends. We're also a house that takes off their shoes when you come in, which is great for cleanliness, but is the source of a lot of other friend loss a different episode. I've never had so much cauliflower in my life, the total weight eaten actually exceeds the remaining friends I have. I've eaten over 1000 avocados and I now more actually can speak Spanish say Alberto Espanol and I never knew kale made into a chip. It's actually pretty good one downside of keto no more beer, upside vodka. All you can eat, enjoy. It's nice baby!

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Watermelons Are Disgusting! #short #podcast #humor #funny #funnypodcast #watermelons #summer #tasty #fruits

Watermelons are disgusting! I know it's the chosen fruit of summer. It's gorgeous with its bright green, outer edge and inner pink beautiness but it's just a horribly tasting fruit. I'd rather drink warm moldy beer, or maybe get a hot dagger in my that have to eat watermelon. Its texture feels like sand and diarrhea though I've never had either of those as food, but I think that's what it would come together. The best use for what I've seen is really as actually making a sculpture or filling it with vodka and freezing it and then eating it that way. More tolerable, still tastes disgusting. Don't get me wrong. Everyone loves it. I wish I did too. But I'm in that group of people who cannot eat it without wanting to throw up. You know if you get a seedless one. I'm wondering how that even happened. Probably genetic modification. Its flavors kind of like sugar, ate sugar, then took a poop and then it made a watermelon. I respected you can enjoy it, but it's horrible. It's nice baby!

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Motivation. #short #podcast #humor #funny #funnypodcast #motivation

Motivation. Motivation is a tricky thing. A lot of people think that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing. But that's why you have to do it every day. You have to get motivated every day, give it 100% Unless you're giving blood, don't do that. Don't give it 100% Then, and just because you know you fail on your first try, doesn't mean you get knocked down. But if you do fail on your first try, don't don't try skydiving. That'd be bad. But listen to Yoda, do or do not. There is no trying it. There's no words, Better Spoken by a little green monster that doesn't really exist. It's true though. You really want to make sure that you're not indecisive. But I'm not really sure if that's, that's real. But end of the day, get motivated, get up and do something you've always wanted to do. And think of it this way. If cauliflower can become pizza, then you can do anything my friend and I do mean anything. It's nice baby!

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Mystery Of Swingers and the Upside-Down Pineapples #shorts #podcast #humor #funnypodcast #pineapple

Upside down pineapples, the mystery of the swingers. That's right. This is the mark the mystery. This is how you find the parties that you've been looking for. Or maybe that you're hosting the party. Don't believe me, go rock your local grocery store at 9pm on a Saturday, throw a pineapple in there, upside down and just walk around the fruit section. People will approach you, they'll tell you about where their party is. Or they may ask you where yours is. Maybe you're on a cruise, but a pineapple in front of your door. Maybe just in your neighborhood throw one up for fun. You don't think this is a real thing? It is, in 2021 over 41 point 2 million views on tick tock on the subject alone. But here's my advice. Don't get caught up in the hype or the excitement of a swingers party, especially ones that are hosted in low light or in the dark because after that, you may leave wondering what game over you. Enjoy, you're upside down pineapples. It's nice baby!

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Speakerphone Sucks! #shorts #podcast #humor #funny #speakerphone

Speaker phones, please do not use speaker phones ever. It is a horrible habit. It's incredibly rude. And if you do I will probably beat you with a rubber chicken that I carry around with me just for the occasion. If I see you on a speakerphone in your in public place, I may join in the conversation. I may just jump right in there, maybe start singing along or maybe videotape you doing it and just narrate over it in a sexy voice. But if you use a speakerphone and you're not at work, you're being incredibly rude, terrible, terrible habit. I believe if you are using a speakerphone while filling up your gas, your car will explode. So please continue to do that. I don't hear the excuse that you don't have headphones or your phone crack that don't call people don't talk to anyone. First of all, you don't really want to put the other person on the other line on a speakerphone because they may say something you may regret. God knows if you have me on there, I likely will. The other thing about speaker phones is is that you're basically communicating you're not a good person and that you probably will have to burn in hell just advice things to think about speaker phones. It's nice baby! No, it's not speakerphone suck. Don't do it.

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Dark Secret of CrossFit #short #podcast #humor #funny #funnypodcast #crossfit #gym

CrossFit, a cult? Or community? CrossFit was established in 2000 by Greg Glassman where you open the first gym in Santa Cruz, California, of course this came from California. What you do is basically spend $200 a month to do burpees in a garage style setting called the box. And when you get done you throw up other things you'll hear along the way are words like WOD, snatch and chippers. The starter kit for beginning CrossFit requires you to have tattoos piercing, potentially a criminal record, graduated high school maybe, and a screening sensation that comes out of your mouth as you listen to the joyous sounds of heavy metal and rap. CrossFit is really what happens when you replace tried and true weightlifting effectiveness and safety with injuries and danger. If you meet a new friend and you want to know if they've done CrossFit. It's easy. They tell you in the first two minutes of meeting, but in a day if you do it you'd probably get ripped and look amazing. I haven't tried it yet. That's because if I had a sexy body on top of his voice, it's game over. It's nice baby!

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Why Cant Prius Drivers Make Right Turns? #shorts #podcast #humor #prius

Why can't Prius drivers make right turns? I don't understand it. It doesn't seem to matter if there's traffic or no traffic or if there's a green light or a red light it could be because there's too many bumper stickers urging peace and everyone together. Or maybe it's the whole foods bags in the back or the dog that's running loose barking and everyone, maybe the cars just underpowered? I don't know. But Prius drivers you got to help me understand here why you can't make right turns. I also don't understand how you've all ran marathons or half marathon. I feel like those who just had the 5k sticker or they're posers or they're just working their way up to it. I'm thinking the fix for this is possibly don't drive or get a different car or get a different card. Don't drive at all. Enjoy. It's nice baby!

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3 Tips For Getting A Girlfriend #shorts #podcast #humor #girlfriend #advice 

Simple advice to get a girlfriend. First understand you. Understand who you are. Understand if you're a great looking person that's super charming and loaded, you're probably gonna have a lot of choices. But if you're super nerdy and it looks like someone hit you in the face with a branch and you got small junk, you're gonna have challenges as well. Understand who you are, where it fits, because it's gonna be important to the second step, which is setting expectations. Your expectations should be not I'm going to out kick my coverage, and I'm going to get the best looking person on the planet. No, no, no, no, no, I want you to make sure that you understand who you are relative to what you think you can get. You want to make sure if you're good looking, but you can't form a sentence, you're gonna have problems. If you're super nerdy, but you're smooth as hell. You are in good shape. Understand your expectations. That way when you're looking for a girlfriend, you're probably in the right zone and finally, share the right information. Let them know you look like Chuck Norris. Let them know you're hung. You have a Ferrari, or maybe that you live in mom's basement and your teeth are crooked. Or maybe you just have basic cable. Simple advice for getting a girlfriend. It's nice baby!

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