I woke up this Monday feeling insanely sick.
I am talking about blue in the face, sorta nauseous, cold-sweat, please go pray to the porcelain God right this moment kind of sick.
I thought to myself "GREEEAAATTT, this is exactly what I need right now because it's the week of my book launch. OFF COURSE, I'd come down with this, not right now. There's too much good stuff going on!"
In order to start my work day, I found myself comfortably getting situated in my bathroom-office with wi-fi and a notepad. Just because I am sick, doesn't mean my inbox isn't going off the charts with interview requests, partnership offers, book launch deets and you know WORK and life stuff.
So, I figured this is the time to live what I preach and take a moment to get really grateful because while this massive sucks, there's gotta be something good about life.
I was taking a mental list - my home, my house, my parents, my DOG is getting shipped in this month, my fridge is full. I flexed my gratitude muscle even more, even about the things I am a week bit stressed about - I am grateful for writing this book, and I am grateful for every single email about the book, I love planning my party (even though not many are yet to confirm), I love the Street Squad and they have been killing it and I am grateful for my clients and new challengers.
And I stopped.
I had a massive ah-huh moment.
See, every year we run a challenge or onboard a new Mastermind group, we run into the issue of a few of our sisters getting sick. They rocked the first week, maybe even two and week 3-4 they come down with a massive stomach flu, gold or otherwise something that will KNOCK them off the wagon and totally cause them to lose focus and attempt to give up.
“Oh no, I was doing SO well. I was killing it. I'm starting from the bottom now”.
Shit.
Not literally but this is exactly the situation I was in right now.
While I am insanely grateful for every single opportunity that is coming my way right now, I started feeling what I called "anxietement." It's not quite an anxiety and it's not quite like excitement. Hints the name.
It was too much good stuff all at once, and everything is going OH too well.
So here I am sabotaging myself, creating more chaos and pooping my pants from excitement.
And I am so sorry for the visual right now.
Have you ever been there? Everything is going SO well, and you are just waiting for something BAD to happen and for the other shoe to drop because you are not used to things being THIS GOOD?
Sisters, this is a thing that with further research I realized is called the Upper Limiting Problem and could be referenced in the book called The Big Leap.
Unless you understand this term, we may believe that we are simply not "good enough" to handle this level of success or happiness. It's like constantly living a life of looking over your shoulder waiting for some crap to happen. And it will forever feel like you are "almost there" but you can't seem to get there. I can tell you first hand that everyone on the planet has varying degrees of "upper limit problems." Thankfully, they're a snap to overcome if you've got the right tools and an open, willing heart. And it can manifest in finding little drama in relationships, stirring drama out of nowhere, making irrational decisions, getting in car accidents, constantly getting sick before the big day comes.
What a girl gotta do - step one to everything is insane awareness, right?
And understanding that this anxeitement is working for me AND I am worthy of this shift - of the experience of happiness, impact, love and so much more.
Stay and do it.
Take a rest if you are sick.
Be on the lookout.
The book is out today! I just wanted to keep it real with you guys.
With love,
Zlata
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