Why were Taylor Swift's wedding guests and celebrity Knicks fans assigned "risk" scores inside Madison Square Garden's secret VIP database? Who was the karaoke MVP at the wedding afterparty? And would you rather test-drive the "most potent weed beverage known to man" ... or Bill Simmons' colonoscopy? Plus: Guy Fieri, Shaboozey, Polyp George, The Mike Vrabel Sliding Scale of Chivalry, The Blandino Tier and fogging the glass of exclusivity.

• Read the follow-up story at WIRED

• Previously on PTFO: We Got Inside Knicks Surveillance — and MSG's Deep State Is Stranger Than You Think

• Watch Jay Jurden's "Yes Ma'am"

• Subscribe to "Casuals with Katie Nolan"

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